bblackbirdflyy

Time to try again. day 1

bblackbirdflyy

I already know what Dee will say, I need try something different this time. But what? AA?

workingonwishes

also on day 1 again here, but i'm not giving up! we can do this!!

jdooner

Doing the same thing over and expecting a different result is the basic definition of insanity.

First do you truly want to quit? Try being really honest as to why you want to quit.

If you do then it is my opinion you need a structured program. Just look at the odds 2% of people succeed on their own accord, AA is over 50% other programs I am not familiar with may be better or worse than AA.

An inpatient rehab is a great solution bc you can remove all the triggers and variables until your brain can stabilize 30 days + 30 day outpatient.

If you have tried #857 times, its a bit obvious what your doing is not working.

Ruturn

I was on day one on Monday of last week. I have no idea how many times that made a day one for me. But I am determined it will be my last day one. Friday night and Saturday night for me were brutal. But I made it. HUGE feeling of accomplishment this morning waking up with a clear head. I use AA, have a sponsor and I know it will work for me if I let it. I also know there are other ways. Main thing I'm changing is I am doing things I wouldn't before. All the things I should be doing that I was just too lazy or drunk or whatever to do before. The increase in my self esteem in just six days has been amazing. Find something that works for you. Do it. Keep doing it. If you decide to go to AA meetings try different ones and find one you like and keep going. I have faith now, something I haven't had in at least 20 years.

bblackbirdflyy

I've only really tried 3 times. It just feels like 897. I've heard the insanity quote before. I do truly want to quit.

I have small children, inpatient is not an option. But yep, something different is in order.

bblackbirdflyy

I've been hanging with the same drinking crowd, going to parties where alcohol abuse is common and celebrated. It's time for me to bow out of the "social" (drinking) crowd.

grocerease

I had a hard time quitting while I hung out with people that did nothing but binge drink. I used to think that it was fun and exciting but now have learned that I just did it because everyone else was doing it. It's better to find friends that enjoy life without the need to be messed up all the time. Stick with SR and other support groups and you will succeed. Have a great day.

alphaomega

I quit every single time I was hungover. Over 20 years of drinking, 3-4 times a week. Roughly 4996 times. That's not an exaggeration. I did not gain any benefit whatsoever from not quitting at time 893 and continuing to drink. Maybe, MAYBE 3 hours of chemical induced dopamine flood. But then, 3 days of anxiety, self loathing, guilt, remorse, etc etc.

My point being, drinking is NOT going to get any more fun. Hangovers will progress to withdrawals, the slope will continue to slip downwards until it robs you of everything and leaves you firmly in its clutches. Don't believe me ? Look around here. Not a single one of us isn't fighting like hell to be released from its grips. Quit while you are still ahead and have your dignity and strength to help you battle this.

It ain't going to get an easier, more pleasurable or more satisfying. My first hand experience

Be well

bblackbirdflyy

Well, 3 serious attempts anyway. Countless, as you just described. Thank you for the response, I'm feeling pretty low.

I believe you.

Br00ksie

Daily AA meetings, staying away form people/ places where drugs and alcohol are going to be, and just generally being sick of being in the ever-tightening clutches of addiction have all helped me to become and remain sober. I am at the VERY beginning, but I see no end in sight! Good luck to you! Stay strong

IWillWin

Bowing out of social drinking situations is necessary for some.

It is for me. Not all, but when I know it is going to be a booze fest (like a trip to Vegas or doing nothing somewhere for a week other than drink consistently all day) I have to say no.

Even after a year and a few months, I know myself well enough to know that by day 5 I'd be drunk. It's sad. It's unfortunate. But it's my reality. And I have to live with it and make smart choices to protect my hard won sobriety.

I know I have a long road ahead, it's a marathon not a sprint, and I don't kid myself there will be no bumps in the road, but I do EVERYTHING I can to stay sober. It means some really annoying choices and missing out on some things but when I'm honest I don't want to do those things unless I'm drunk. Hence, my very boring social life but I'm happy and content.

As we always say, it is what it is. And our "is" is we don't have the willpower or tools to be in drinking situations. Yet. It will come with time. I hope

Be well.

soberhawk

I am sorry it happened bblackbirdflyy, you are taking up the fight again that counts for something

I do not know what you should do different.

I tried to moderate my drinking for years with unreliable luck.

When I look back on that I am find it strange why I just did not stop this nonsense and use my energy on something else.

longbeachone

Why not? I often say that AA is the foundation that many of us build our recovery house upon. Some of us use only AA materials for the rest of the construction. Some find new things to incorporate into the design...Celebrate Recovery maybe. Some leave all of the AA lumber behind, and build with some totally new stuff...AVRT or SMART, SR even. It's your house, you get to choose how to construct it. AA provided a sound structural foundation for me. Maybe it's worth a try?

least

I'm glad you're back and trying again.

Hevyn

bblackbird - I had many do overs. I finally was exhausted from the whole thing. It wasn't fun anymore or relaxing - and it was also becoming dangerous. You sound fed up. I hope you will make it off the stuff & stay off this time. We know you can.

pattyj

I had to leave all my friends and a boyfriend of 6 years behind. It was lonely in the beginning but I am forever grateful for 'bowing' out. I also did intensive outpatient. It's a number of days week and you are drug tested and required to go to aa. It is very helpful!

Dee74

Welcome back BBF.

yeah I think you need to do something different - there's a wide range of approaches, programmes, counselling, even rehabs if you wanted to go to that extent.

if you really want sobriety - and I think you do - then go for it BBF
D

JaylaaKent

I've said this in another thread. Quitting never works - for anyone for good. You have to recover - and I guess you need to ride the elevator of lows a little lower until you get to the point where you are either forced to quit or you have a spiritual/mental awakening?

Sheknits

Hey blackbird, saw your post in our august group. Sorry you are back at the start, but that's just it, a new start!

The thing that helps me stay sober is my babies. On the day that I decided to get sober my husband had a similar idea, it was what he said that really drive it home for me.

He said, it's not like I won't ever drink again, but I refuse to dunk around the kids anymore, they deserve a 100% present parent, it's not safe to be drunk around them. His plan is that he will not drink unless away from home (like in a trip or something) where he is not responsible for the kid and won't be the next day either.

And it's true!

I also used to get frustrated with my kids because I just wanted to relax and drink but they required my attention.

How is that fair!? I was making it their fault that I wasn't able to drink the way I wanted, and I was impatient and short tempered with then because of it .

Life is so much easier now, I'm not always trying to rush them to bed, mAke them nap, etc. just so I can "let loose"

Just another perspective that may help you