Rock bottom
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 186
Rock bottom
Against my own wishes, I bought a bottle of vodka. I foolishly thought it would help my panicking. The same mistake I always make. What does it mean when you keep making the same mistake, even though you know in the back of your mind that it will ruin everything? 
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is just one definition of insanity.
The good news is that there's a way out, a way to stop.
Read and keep posting and stick close to SR and you'll find it if you want it.
The good news is that there's a way out, a way to stop.
Read and keep posting and stick close to SR and you'll find it if you want it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: SF Bay Area, CA
Posts: 33,486
Some good things here! I used to use it for the panicking too, then it made the panicking worse. I'll be 2 mos sober tomorrow and the panic is starting to fade sometimes and the good days are finally coming, little by little. Sometimes it's so hard to get out of the spiral down, I have been just grinding my teeth and white knuckling it. I'm sure I have more bad times yet to come, but I'm starting to see the other side of the rainbow now and again...Good luck and prayers. 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Relying on alcohol to help with an underlying condition is only making the underlying condition worse. If nothing changes, then nothing changes. You have the power to make decisions that are beneficial and positive. Any different action will result in a change. The effort is far less than living a life of complete uncertainty, panic, depression, sabotage, and destructive behaviors. Give yourself a chance. You can do this.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
It means you are an alcoholic most likely. And it also probably means you haven't fully accepted that you are yet. Today would be a great day to do so, and we can help. Have you looked for any local support at all?
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Originally Posted by JadeSatellite 
I know of a church that holds AA meetings on Monday and Wednesday. I am trying to find something that I could go to tonight. The only support I've looked for has been on this website
Some people do very well with only SR or using AVRT. I am one of those who need face to face support too.Let us know how the meeting went. I hope you like AA as much as I do.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Originally Posted by JadeSatellite
What is AVRT?
I use some of the techniques in my recovery too. Check it out, like I always say the more tools I have in my belt, the least likely I ll be to relapse
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Originally Posted by madbird
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is just one definition of insanity.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
How was this "against [your] wishes"? You bought a bottle of booze.
Sorry, let me restate with italics, for clarity:
You bought a bottle of booze.
The reality is, you are the only reason that you drink. Nobody and nothing is responsible for you buying a bottle and guzzling it down, except you. You own it.
Understanding that was a big step for me. Before, I would let "things" -- a bad day, bad news, boredom, whatever -- trigger me to get blasted. That mindset was antithetical to taking control of my drinking. In my mind I was drawing a cause-effect relationship between external stimuli and my behavior, which was TOTALLY FALSE.
My behavior was caused by my will, and my will alone. I owned it. And that was important for me to understand, because if I was making it happen, then I could make it stop.
Sorry, let me restate with italics, for clarity:
You bought a bottle of booze.
The reality is, you are the only reason that you drink. Nobody and nothing is responsible for you buying a bottle and guzzling it down, except you. You own it.
Understanding that was a big step for me. Before, I would let "things" -- a bad day, bad news, boredom, whatever -- trigger me to get blasted. That mindset was antithetical to taking control of my drinking. In my mind I was drawing a cause-effect relationship between external stimuli and my behavior, which was TOTALLY FALSE.
My behavior was caused by my will, and my will alone. I owned it. And that was important for me to understand, because if I was making it happen, then I could make it stop.
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