Insult added to the injury.....
My emotional baggage
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 285
Insult added to the injury.....
Something interesting has come to light for me recently. I have been so wrapped up in worrying about what was going on with the kids that I have just kind of bypassed stopping and thinking about a couple other big items I have been dealing with dealing with the disentaglement of my XAH.
When I first started coming here, I was very thankful that at least I had a very high functioning A. A least he worked and did not spend all our money. I had money for food, clothes, etc.
Well now that we are about two years into the divorce we are addressing the money issues. OMG. He is a total theif! I am shocked! He filed a tax return for us from when I first left. He signed my name and forgot to tell me he kept the $13,000+ return. (Tell me I'm not going to get audited for that!)
I just filed my seperate taxes and the IRS just took it all because he did not tell me that they audited us for a past year and there was an outstanding bill. Jerk, it was supposed to go to the attorney.
He hid the $20,000+ tractor we owned. Said he sold it for $6000. He will have to pay fair market value to me for it but still. It will take years for him to pay me off for that one.
He still owes me over $2000 for daycare.
He ran up bills that were in my name and than just told them I moved and now they are at creditors.
He tried to get the title company to send him the entire settlement from the Short Sale of our house. I luckily caught that at the last minute and got my half. (See I am still too nice, I should have kept it all to go against what he owes me. If I had done it I would be in trouble though....)
We had worked out the property division with the lawyers but when I went to the house to get my stuff. He had taken everything. He left me the photos (I am so thankful for that) and a few knick knacks. And a lot of garbage and mouse eaten things that were under the house.
Anyways, I know my life is soooo much better now. And I am by no means destitute. But even though I hear the stories from others here how they left with nothing but the kids, it just is not right. I worked just as hard as he did for everything we owned.
It is hard having your things stolen by someone you don't know but to have the father of your kids, repeatedly steal from you is such and insult added to the injury.
4MyBoys
When I first started coming here, I was very thankful that at least I had a very high functioning A. A least he worked and did not spend all our money. I had money for food, clothes, etc.
Well now that we are about two years into the divorce we are addressing the money issues. OMG. He is a total theif! I am shocked! He filed a tax return for us from when I first left. He signed my name and forgot to tell me he kept the $13,000+ return. (Tell me I'm not going to get audited for that!)
I just filed my seperate taxes and the IRS just took it all because he did not tell me that they audited us for a past year and there was an outstanding bill. Jerk, it was supposed to go to the attorney.
He hid the $20,000+ tractor we owned. Said he sold it for $6000. He will have to pay fair market value to me for it but still. It will take years for him to pay me off for that one.
He still owes me over $2000 for daycare.
He ran up bills that were in my name and than just told them I moved and now they are at creditors.
He tried to get the title company to send him the entire settlement from the Short Sale of our house. I luckily caught that at the last minute and got my half. (See I am still too nice, I should have kept it all to go against what he owes me. If I had done it I would be in trouble though....)
We had worked out the property division with the lawyers but when I went to the house to get my stuff. He had taken everything. He left me the photos (I am so thankful for that) and a few knick knacks. And a lot of garbage and mouse eaten things that were under the house.
Anyways, I know my life is soooo much better now. And I am by no means destitute. But even though I hear the stories from others here how they left with nothing but the kids, it just is not right. I worked just as hard as he did for everything we owned.
It is hard having your things stolen by someone you don't know but to have the father of your kids, repeatedly steal from you is such and insult added to the injury.
4MyBoys
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,038
I am in a similar space tonight, 4myboys. The atrocities these people create.
How about a book with a chapter from each partner of an A whose As have done hideous acts. We filter out all but the absolutely most atrocious As.
My A just arrived and we get 2 weeks of him. He has lied to everyone in my (former) community so they all think I have made up the abuse/alcoholism in order to become a rich divorcee and stay in Europe. All while we had 2 months with no child support and we were actually going hungry. And he has people in the States believing I am being a rich lazy housewife.
I want to kick him with my running cleats right in the face and give him permanent holes in his face.
I suppose that isn't Al-Anonish of me. I dance better when I'm mad though.
I am sorry for you and everyone else here who married a criminally insane A.
How about a book with a chapter from each partner of an A whose As have done hideous acts. We filter out all but the absolutely most atrocious As.
My A just arrived and we get 2 weeks of him. He has lied to everyone in my (former) community so they all think I have made up the abuse/alcoholism in order to become a rich divorcee and stay in Europe. All while we had 2 months with no child support and we were actually going hungry. And he has people in the States believing I am being a rich lazy housewife.
I want to kick him with my running cleats right in the face and give him permanent holes in his face.
I suppose that isn't Al-Anonish of me. I dance better when I'm mad though.
I am sorry for you and everyone else here who married a criminally insane A.
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