Putting my anonymity at risk?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 36
Putting my anonymity at risk?
Hi all!
My brother in laws cousin (confusing much?) sadly passed away this morning of complications due to his alcoholism. I didn't really know him all that much but I do know his parents quite well. His mother is in pieces obviously and all I want to do is send a message to my sister to tell this woman about Al-Anon. He passed away in a rehab facility so I assume they told his parents about Al-Anon...but I don't know. Am I making this too much about me? Is it worth potentially breaking anonymity with my family? I made phone calls to Al-Anon people but no one answered so I turn to you guys!
If there was a way to tell this woman directly I would but through my sister could end badly.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?
My brother in laws cousin (confusing much?) sadly passed away this morning of complications due to his alcoholism. I didn't really know him all that much but I do know his parents quite well. His mother is in pieces obviously and all I want to do is send a message to my sister to tell this woman about Al-Anon. He passed away in a rehab facility so I assume they told his parents about Al-Anon...but I don't know. Am I making this too much about me? Is it worth potentially breaking anonymity with my family? I made phone calls to Al-Anon people but no one answered so I turn to you guys!
If there was a way to tell this woman directly I would but through my sister could end badly.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
You follow the Steps and the Traditions are NOT the same, but work together.
Al-Anon's Twelve Steps
Al-Anon's Twelve Traditions
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Look at Tradition 11.
Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films and TV. We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members.
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The Anonymity you/we are obliged to maintain is for AA Members . . . We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members. and for other members of Alanon.
The other part is about Public Relations. We do not want to look like an ass in Public (can you imagine ME on TV? It would make Alanon look like a pack of asses.
) That harms the mission.
As far as real world people knowing you are in Alanon, just you talking about you?
To me THAT is exactly what Step 12 looks like.
===========
Step 12
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Al-Anon's Twelve Steps
Al-Anon's Twelve Traditions
===========
Look at Tradition 11.
Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films and TV. We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members.
============
The Anonymity you/we are obliged to maintain is for AA Members . . . We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members. and for other members of Alanon.
The other part is about Public Relations. We do not want to look like an ass in Public (can you imagine ME on TV? It would make Alanon look like a pack of asses.
) That harms the mission.As far as real world people knowing you are in Alanon, just you talking about you?
To me THAT is exactly what Step 12 looks like.
===========
Step 12
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
I hate to hear of another person lost to this disease - prayers of comfort for his family and all who love him.
I can understand your concern for what is healthy for you but still wanting to share the message. In this case, I would seek my HP's guidance. Maybe right now in her time of sorrow and grief she may not be ready for a suggestion of al-anon. She may be - who knows.
Maybe ask your HP to guide you and if it is something you need to share with you - that your HP will provide not only the opportunity, but also the words for you to say and that she will have an open heart and a mind ready to accept the possibility of help through Al-Anon.
Just my e, s, & h -
wishing you the guidance you need
pink hugs,
I can understand your concern for what is healthy for you but still wanting to share the message. In this case, I would seek my HP's guidance. Maybe right now in her time of sorrow and grief she may not be ready for a suggestion of al-anon. She may be - who knows.
Maybe ask your HP to guide you and if it is something you need to share with you - that your HP will provide not only the opportunity, but also the words for you to say and that she will have an open heart and a mind ready to accept the possibility of help through Al-Anon.
Just my e, s, & h -
wishing you the guidance you need
pink hugs,
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,295
Could you find out her address? Could you mail her a sympathy card? You could include if you were willing to reveal that al anon has helped you, which you seem to be willing to do.
I know it is very common for everyone to come forward during the first month after a death, any death.
And then the well of sympathies starts to dry up, and fade away.
Knowing that, perhaps a month later, send a card?
I know it is very common for everyone to come forward during the first month after a death, any death.
And then the well of sympathies starts to dry up, and fade away.
Knowing that, perhaps a month later, send a card?
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