jennnicks

Hello, I am not sure where to go or what to do?? My husband has drank off and on for 15 years but never long term. But now for the last year he goes 5 or 6 days with out a drink and then one night he will come home drunk. I have already told him he needs to get help but he tells me he has no problem!!!! I have asked him to go to AA but he won't. On the weekends he never drinks but come Monday night after work he will start before he comes home.I need help what do I do we have 3 little boys. Twins 6 years old and a 5 year boy. I want to make this work.

BoxinRotz

He won't stop until he feels that his life is better without the alcohol. If he feels it's not a problem, then you'll have to find a way to cope. It's unfortunate for everyone involved. We know your pain.

Stick around n read the stickies. Look into AlAnon or just come here if you can't get to AlAnon.

Recovering2

Sadly, if he doesn't believe he has a problem there isn't much you can do about it. Going to AA doesn't work if he is in denial. He has to recognize the problem and want to seek recovery for himself.

The only thing you can do is take care of your children and yourself. Find an AlAnon meeting near you, many of them have babysitting. Read through the sticky's at the top of this page. Learn all you can about the disease. Learn all you can about detachment. It is possible to find some peace, even if the A continues to drink.

Keep posting, this is a great site for support.

changeneeded

Ya know Jennicks, the first time I came here talking about my AH being a "functional A", I got pretty much the same answers as above. In fact, somebody even told me "if your A is denying how much and when, then your A is not functioning." to make it even worse I was also told "it will only get worse."

I thought: these people don't really hear what I am saying, and they just want me to be lumped into the same category as them.

Then, I worked on Step 1 of Al anon and came back to read more. They are right wether I like it or not, they are right. You can't change him, you can't change "it", but you can change what you do with the sad fear you've got brewing.

Stick around, get to know us and our stories. We'd love to have you join and we'd love to hear yours.

(((hugs)))

Be well,

Seren

Hello jennnicks, Welcome!

I'm sure reading around this forum and reading the replies to your post are a bit overwhelming...I know they were for me when I first arrived to SR.

I'm sorry your husband struggles with this disease and that you are your 3 precious little ones suffer as well. The bare and unvarnished truth is that there really is nothing any of us can do to 'fix' our alcoholic loved ones. We can, however, learn to live our lives and be happy, peaceful and joyous whether or not the alcoholic we love is drinking.

Please keep coming back, keep reading the posts and threads here. It really helped me to learn as much as I could about addiction and recovery. Here is a thread that helped me very, very much when I first arrived at SR.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

Welcome, again. I'm so sorry for what brings you here, though....