nbay2013

Ok, this is my kind of humor. So I am looking at a dating site, called "Plenty of Fish". It's free, which is good but bad also, because people who want to hide the fact they are looking don't have a charge on their credit card for their spouse to discover.

So, I uploaded my profile and thought I would give it a look/see. And I have decided THIS is where all the disappearing alcoholic spouses hang out! I swear I have never seen a more dubious group of men. Many have no photo and when you ask "why?", they say something like, "I am known in my community and trying to be anonymous." If you look at their profiles there is usually a thinly disguised rant about how woman are too picky and not loyal...blah blah. I swear, at times like this I want to be a stand up comedian. What GREAT material!!!

So now I have discovered where they go. Oh, and by the way, I found my exAB's site on there too. It was created ....drum roll...when he was one month clean and sober AND had no photo either. I swear I can't make this s**t up!

Anyway, it's been TWO MONTHS no contact this week and my sense of humor is coming back.

ZenMe

haha! A friend of mine met her xabf on that site! Pay sites tend to be better because people are actually vested in dating, not just putting up a free profile on a 5 minute whim. This is according to my friends on match.

I have used ok cupid, free, but it's better than dumpster diving at plenty of fish.

Keep up the no contact and watch out for naked pics =P.

DreamsofSerenity

That is crazy! And I believe it! I haven't done online dating but just from the sickos I attracted on FB, I can tell it's not for me. A friend of a friend "friended" me on FB, became really chummy, and a couple months later, sent me a photo of his erection. It was around the time of Weinergate so I told my friend who knows this guy's wife, and the guy flipped out on me, insulting me and telling me I could have ruined his marriage which as a codie, of course, upset me terribly.

Anyway, it just seems too easy for guys to hide online from their partners/wives, and to pretend to be people they aren't. Maybe women do it too (sorry, guys).

I'm glad you are laughing about all of this. You seem like you are in a much better place with everything.

dandylion

I believe you! And, it gives me the CREEPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dandylion

AllThings

I met an Alcoholic ex boyfriend on POF, a long while back. Didn't know he drank until about 3 mo into the relationship. Then discovered he was actually a RAGING drunk. I guess it was easy to hide when we lived 45 min away and only saw each other now and then, but it was impossible to hide when I moved closer to him for work ... He broke up with me after that.

trixie56

I met my XABF on an online dating site (not a free one). His profile sounded great, just like someone I'd want to date. Of course, he didn't mention the whole 'loving-alcohol-living-to-party' thing. It wasn't important enough to mention, yet it was why he dumped me the first time, and went AWOL the second time.... I'm throwing this in the 'evidence he's in denial' category..

trixie56

Just want to add that this stuck out to me also because plenty of guys (and women) mention in their profile that they're into partying and drink heavily. So, why not just be honest? In my ex's profile, he said he was a "social drinker" ! Yeah, that wasn't accurate..

Tuffgirl

Having tried POF, I laughed at this one. But if you know what to look for, you can pick out the liars right away. Lying about their addictions, marital status, felonies, children, etc. A few well placed questions and a thorough internet search work wonders. As does a hefty dose of cynicism for some time to come.

I did meet on a paid site a really cool guy that I've gone out with a few times. So far, he seems legit and above board, and his stories check out.

But it will be a long time of paying close attention to the actions before I decide if I want to invest in this one. That I learned here. Don't listen to what they say, watch how they act.