binge drinker
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: ireland
Posts: 27
binge drinker
hi i am 41 year old woman from ireland. i only drink about once a month but when i drink i cant stop. i always go out with good intention that i will stick to beer but on a number of occasions the bar has ran out the beer i like so i will go on wine knowing this will make me very drunk, on friday night i went to a party o brought my own beer but then there were lots of shots going around so i drank that and champangne. i then left the party walking alone and my friend sent someone out to look for me they found me on the road, i then got taxi home to my boyfriend house where he said i turned violent and hit him, well when i woke up next morning i was full of bruises on my upper arm a big cut on my head and elbow. i dont remember any of it and i feel so ashamed because i never really thought i could do something like this but when i take a good look back at my past i can see that i can provoke men i am in relationship with to get really angry a hit me or i hit them and they push me, i know now i have a problem a see a pattern i dont want to ruin another relationship because i turn into a nasty drunk please help i am feeling so down about all this and dont have anyone to turn to 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: CA
Posts: 210
Hello, and welcome. I can relate to your experience as I was a binge drinker as well. I was the weekend or every other weekend type. I had many days of feeling shameful after a binge.
This cycle continued for a long time, until I finally excepted that I was an alcoholic. What that meant to me was that I had little or no control of my alcohol consumption once I started drinking. I would always go back to drinking as I thought my drinking would be under control this time. Sometimes it would be, but most often I would end up in shame the next day.
Now I know the only solution for me is to abstain from alcohol 100 percent. It is a relief to be off the merry-go-round. I use AA to help me with this, but there are other options. I suggest researching a few online and keep reading and posting here. Also, educate yourself on alcoholism. I recommend a book called Under the influence.
And don't beat yourself up. Just use this experience as motivation to change.
This cycle continued for a long time, until I finally excepted that I was an alcoholic. What that meant to me was that I had little or no control of my alcohol consumption once I started drinking. I would always go back to drinking as I thought my drinking would be under control this time. Sometimes it would be, but most often I would end up in shame the next day.
Now I know the only solution for me is to abstain from alcohol 100 percent. It is a relief to be off the merry-go-round. I use AA to help me with this, but there are other options. I suggest researching a few online and keep reading and posting here. Also, educate yourself on alcoholism. I recommend a book called Under the influence.
And don't beat yourself up. Just use this experience as motivation to change.
Not angry just direct
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: England
Posts: 257
Greetings bingedrink, welcome to SR.
You do now. You'll find plenty of good people here who won't turn you away
Originally Posted by bingedrink 
i am feeling so down about all this and dont have anyone to turn to
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK (England)
Posts: 2,782
Welcome, I also used to binge drink and i would try to moderate my drinking much like you describe with only having beer no wine etc. Bottom line is that it never worked for me. Once i have a drink i have no off switch and anything can happen. My drinking rapidly got worse until i stopped completely and got sober. I accept that i cant drink at all. If you want to stop drinking there is lots of support and help here.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: ireland
Posts: 27
thank you all for your lovely reply and support. i know myself now that i have to quite as i have tryed to limit my drinking and i be sucecssful for a few weeks and then i have one bad night that frighten me. my partner never tell be how i behave because he scared it will hurt my feeling but now i want the truth because i know myself i can be nasty drunk and that not who i really am, i will have to avoid social occasion for a while because i know i will find them to tempting, i do have a very stressful life and lack confidence and have issues with being insecure but the drinking make them ten times worse especially after the binge i had this weekend. i will do as much research as possible and read any book suggested thank you all
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
Welcome bingedrink. I was/am a binge drinker. I binged every weekend for over 8 years. I didn't think I had a problem with alcohol because I only drank on the weekends or holidays. Boy, was I wrong. I came to the realization that it isn't how many days a week you drink, but where that first drink takes you. I can't drink just one. I have tried on many occasions to moderate my drinking only to failed miserably each and every time. I came to the conclusion about 2 months ago that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I could no longer live the way I was living anymore. I lost all respect for myself and hated the person I had become. I was never dependent on anything in my life besides alcohol and that bothered me so much that it gave me the kick in the a$$ I needed to lock up the beast within.
Best wishes in your recovery.
Best wishes in your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: London
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by bingedrink
hi i am new here and would be grateful for any advice and support, i have been binge drinking for 25 years and now i want to quite, i am sick of having black outs, falling out with family and partner and blaming everyone else for my problems, i drink about once a month but when i drink i dont know when to stop. i fall out with my partner i call him name well last week i hit him and now i know i really am in trouble, because i would never want to hurt him or anyone, i just same to blame him for all my problems, he drink aswell but he drink every weekend but he never nasty but the last night with both us drinking am me nasty things got out of hand, this is a sign that i need help, not end another relationship because i cant handle my drink. i would be grateful for any advice as i feel really low at the moment and i am scared he will leave me now that he has saw my true colours
Have you told your partner and other loves ones about your plan to quit drink for good? I recently managed a period of sobriety. I believe I only managed this by being open with my family and friends. I believe it's vital to have a supportive network around you that won't encourage you to drink, and understand your reasons for quitting.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 355
Originally Posted by bingedrink
i will do as much research as possible and read any book suggested thank you all
My suggestions - read SR threads and check in here often. Especially with the "my friend is having a party this weekend" kind of situations. Also, find local AA meetings. Hearing other people's stories and solutions have helped me, especially the fellowship of AA.
I'm sure more suggestions will follow
Welcome!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
to SR! We have a thread just for books about recovery. Take a look for some good books to read.http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rituality.html
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: ireland
Posts: 27
hi i have told my partner but i havent told my sister yet they drink quiet a lot aswell and these situation seem to get outhand when i drink with my sister, when i drink with others it doesnt seem to get as bad, but i know now that when i drink i really dont know what going to happen, me and my sister fall out every time we have a drink, she blames me and i blame her, so it time to stop before it to late, i have try to give up before but my family werent comfortable with it, so i stopped visiting
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,429
hi and welcome bingedrink
you'll find a lot of support here.
I found I really had to change my life a lot to stay sober - I had to think about the place I went and the people I hung around with.
You need to be ok with being 'that person who doesn't drink', even when people get uncomfortable, because it's the best thing for you to do.
D
you'll find a lot of support here.
I found I really had to change my life a lot to stay sober - I had to think about the place I went and the people I hung around with.
You need to be ok with being 'that person who doesn't drink', even when people get uncomfortable, because it's the best thing for you to do.
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: ireland
Posts: 27
i just beat myself up about it all the time and go over and over what happend when the truth is i dont know what happend. then i start imaging all these things have have happend i take me a week to get over 1 nights drinking it really isnt worth it any more, i do know life will be a lot better but i am scared i will become boring, i get very nervous when i go out so that was one of the reason i drank in the first place, i am also a very fast drinking and i gave up smoking 4 weeks ago and since then i seem to get drunker when i drink, it all so confusing because i am still hungover and cant think straight
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: ireland
Posts: 27
thanks i will try so hard to be that person because my life can only improve if i change, i am just scared people around me will not want me to change, my partner is very sociable and he go out most weekend then i worry he might meet someone more exciting than me, i am just insecure in lot of way and need to work on my confiedence
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,429
I merged two threads into one for you BD
I think a lot of us start insecure.
The more things you do and accomplish sober the more you'll get to know the real you and have confidence in yourself and your abilities.
drinking to keep your husband doesn't seem like a really good plan to me, y'know?
D
my partner is very sociable and he go out most weekend then i worry he might meet someone more exciting than me, i am just insecure in lot of way and need to work on my confiedence
The more things you do and accomplish sober the more you'll get to know the real you and have confidence in yourself and your abilities.
drinking to keep your husband doesn't seem like a really good plan to me, y'know?
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 705
Since you only drink once a month, will it be that hard to realize that alcohol is just poison to you? If I were you I'd just never drink again, since you're able to go so long without drinking. Stop feeling so down on yourself...what's done is done. Just move forward and fix it. You can do it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: ireland
Posts: 27
hi akll i didnt sleep great last night, this is my third night now in a row were i have'nt slept. this always happens to me after a lot of drink and a blackout. i keep going over in my head what happend and trying to find a reason for why its happend, or looking for excuse for my behaviour, i have college today and i dont know how i am going to get through the day, i also have 2 assignment due in and i havent started them yet. why do i do this to myself.
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