helluvagalnva

Or is it that we give them that perception. I just spoke to my A and what a shocker - he didn't go to work today. Why? Because he SAID, he forgot to set his alarm. I asked him if he went out last night. His reply was yes but I was home early. So what, if you're hammered what difference does it really make what time you make it home. Still - EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES.....
Back to the same old ****....drinking every night and at work too....Why do i even care? I'm not living with him any longer and soon we'll be divorced!! I sound really mixed up don't I. This goes around and around in head all day every day!!!!! It's starting to make me sick to my stomach.

I had e-mailed him the other day and told him that I missed talking to him. (I really do miss talking to him in those few times he's sober enough to carry on a conversation.) He took that of course as an open invitaion to call me. He had the nerve to say to me- why do you miss me (Quack)? I thought your life is going just peachy(Quack). I thought it was like a walk in the park for you. You got rid of what was making you unhappy, "ME"(Quack, Quack) He really has no clue the hell I've been living in for the past 7 years. It is still all about HIM in his eyes.

Why am I so drawn to him. I don't want to be
Thanks for listening and being here for me. This is the only place that I can come and just say what I feel without feeling guilty for it.

Love You guys,
Galnva

Morning Glory

I'll just say I listened and I've been there and done that. I am actually good friends now with an X A boyfriend. It took a 5 year no speak to or no see to get it to that place though. Now I can take what I want and leave the rest. He can too.

You are doing great!

MG

Ann

It is hard to let go of our past reactions to situations, but eventually we form new habits and in time they become our instinctual reactions.

It is okay to feel frustrated, angry and even depressed...feel it, share it, look at it from all sides, think about it...then do your best to let it go. Say a small prayer and turn it over to the Higher Garbage Power. He will remove the garbage of resentments and hostility and sadness from our lives. To me, steps 4 through 7 are about identifying our garbage, deciding what we don't want to keep any more, and putting it out for pickup.

I am sorry for your pain and am happy that you feel comfortable posting here. Hope we can be of some small help.

Bony Hugs

Ann

Ogly

One suggestion I was givein in my early days - when you have an urge to call or talk to your addict but your saen side knows if you do it willopen a HUGE can of worms... break out your alanon or naraon phone list and USE IT.. You will get to talk to a warm loving intelligent SOBER indivdual and I bet after talking with someone form one of your groups - you won't want to talk to him... Works for me - you should have seen my phone bills

Love,
Ogly

helluvagalnva

Ogly, that is a great idea. I just feel weird or funny calling someone in my group. I feel like I'm imposing. I know I shouldn't feel that way because that's why they gave me their phone numbers. I will use them because I really do need and want help.

Thanks,
Galnva