83mama0f2

I don't think ive ever consumed a whole bottle of wine in one sitting. Ive never consumed more than 8 or 9 drinks in one day and before I quit 15 days ago, a typical day for me was drinking 3-4 drinks in an evening. I rarely drank before 5:30 or so. Did experience hangovers sometimes but usually just a mild headache and drinking out of the bathroom faucet at 3:30 in the morning once I sobered up. Nothing a couple cups of coffee wouldn't fix. Never got to morning drinking to help with the hangover, never blacked out, ky family doesn't think I have a problem, and sometimes I wonder if they're right. Reading so many of the stories on here inoffensive feel out of place because my consumption is minimal compared to most. Can I get an idea if any of you drink like I do and still feel they have a problem?

83mama0f2

Inoffensive ie supposed to say I sometimes.

Raider

I think the fact that you are asking indicates you think you have a problem. Someone will come along here and give you some ideas. I can't answer that.

I just wanted to say hello.

phoebe64

8 or 9 drinks in a day is more than a bottle of wine? I am confused. But anyway, it is not how much but how it affects you. And, 8-9 drinks a day is way over anything healthy.

If you think *you* have a problem, you do.

KatieD

when you say 3-4 drinks in an evening, what are you talking about? 3 or 4 five ounce glasses of wine a night? or were you doing something else? I did drink a bottle of wine a night, sometimes 2 - sometimes a bottle and then 6 beers. I never drank until after my kids went to bed. Then I would drink till I passed out. 1 bottle of wine = 4 full wine glasses. I never drank in the morning to get rid of hangover....

mecanix

If it is causing you a problem and you want to change then you're welcome here, i feel sure
I wish i'd have had the sence to stop it when i was drinking 4 drinks a night . Instead i let 20 years go past where my tollerance for alcohol went up and my drinking got worse and worse .

Bestwishes, m

360shoes

Hi 83,
That's interesting. I was just at a friends house for a birthday party and they are all "normal" drinkers but since they were celebrating they are all a little fuzzy this morning. They didn't drink mass quantities and still got up to take care of their responsibilities.

Here's what I noticed about the difference between them and me. They don't drink everyday, not even one. They can go days and not even think about it. I could go a few days but I always was thinking about when I was going to drink again. Tells me I looked forward to it. They don't even think about making plans around it. I would say they maybe have a drink with dinner once a week or two times. They, other than a special occasion, hardly ever drink to where they have a hangover but they have. And do have one a little today. But they still got up and went about their day. I talked to both of them and they don't feel bad about their behavior. They didn't do anything goofy. They hit that one too many mark and stopped and switched to water.

I don't think they ever think about drinking or not drinking or how much or how little they will if they do. And they have no interest in using it to change how they feel. They felt okay before, during, and after.

I was nothing like that and there were times I didn't drink or just drank a little. I drank to change how I felt. That ain't good for anyone to do that no matter what.

Just me but I can see where it's a hard one when it's not so black and white for everyone.

I would just take another look at your drinking and just make sure you are being very honest about the when, how, and why. Who knows, maybe you are just curious or maybe there is something bothering you about it. Nothing wrong with looking into it. Probably a good thing.

Just my opinion. Take it for what's its worth.

hypochondriac

I don't think how much you drink is that important. Most people probably would not think my consumption was enough to class me as an alcoholic, but it was enough to lead me directly into a condition with 'alcoholic' in the title. So I think my measly 4 beers and half a bottle of wine was a problem. Sometimes I drank more, sometimes less. I felt for years that I should have been able to get a grip and just drink socially but I was never able to. I never drank in the morning but I got to the point where my hands were shaking in the morning and I had massive anxiety problems and lots of niggling illnesses. All of which appear to have been caused by alcohol. Try not to compare yourself to other people's drinking habits. There was a seventy odd yr old lady in my AA meeting who used to drink a couple of bottles a whisky a day and had been sober for 2 years. I felt like a lightweight next to her, but we're all the same once we're sober x

Tamerua

How do you feel about your drinking? Why did you quit 15 days ago? That's your answer.

I didn't drink daily, never lost a job, family, didn't get into fist fights, didn't pee myself, etc. I woke up everyday absolutely hating myself and life. And I knew drinking wasn't helping it! The more I don't drink, the more I see it was a problem.

I say, don't make comparisons, there's a reason you quit and a reason you came to a recovery forum, focus on those reasons.

jdooner

I drank exactly like you and thought like you did. That was a few years ago. It got progressively worse. I quit a little over a month ago and even when I quit, I wrestled with the same questions. I had mild physical withdrawal symptoms when I quit. It was not until a few weeks ago when I was sober enough to reflect and see how bad I was. I never want to go back.

My only advice is give sobriety a chance for a few months and if you feel you were better off when you were drinking then go back to that. I think its too soon to make that call and it may be your brain playing tricks on you in which case yes you prob do have a problem.

Anna

My suggestion is to not worry about your family and friends say. The important thing is whether or not you think you are an alcoholic. You need to believe and accept that you are before you can get well.

longbeachone

You have a problem if you think you have a problem. It's a subjective disease. If you believe you should quit, or taper, or whatever, and you have the strength to admit it and do it, you're way ahead if the game. The one thing I know about alcoholism is that it's a progressive disease. All of us started out drinking far smaller quantities then we ended up consuming. My two bottles of wine a night seem like a great deal of alcohol to you, but to a pint of vodka a night drinker, not so much. In any case, you are welcome here at SR!

Uninvited

Well, when I started out, I drank just like you. Recently, I drank a lot more than that, but still basically the same as you. I drank about 12-13 beers a night, never before 6-7pm and never later than about 1am. I always made it to work on time the next day and never drank during the day. I never blacked out, never was arrested, etc. etc.

Tang

I drank like you (BTW 4+ drinks a night is clinically unhealthy) but I would randomly go overboard and wind up severely buzzed and then hungover. The question is why do you need that buzz everyday? Or even multiple days a week? I'm still not out of the woods.

domedou

83mamaof2,
Good question! I wish I had a good answer. I can speak from my experience, being an alcoholic. For me, it didn't really matter what anyone else had to say. I had to accept what I already knew.
I came from a drinking family. They would never say anything regarding my drinking habits, because they would have had to look into the mirror.
Look deep down within, you'll probably find your answer.
Have a great day!

advbike

That pattern describes me to a 'T'. Not large quantities, but creating significant issues for me nonetheless. The worst is that you keep thinking you can moderate it for way too many years, at least in my case. No one I know, even my best friends from way back, would agree that I have a problem, but I know I do. They don't see how much mental energy I expend controlling and worrying about the amounts I consume, which for the past few years have averaged less than 3 drinks per day. Yes, I log every drink, which is another (obsessive) issue entirely.....

They also don't see the how my long term drinking has allowed me to not deal well with many of life's problems, thus remaining in bad relationships longer than necessary, putting off big decisions, etc. While also spending way too much time focused on material things and wasting money. Oh, and the way I wake up at 3 am and can't get back to sleep, so I'm dragging during the day. And instead of working out I can relax just as well with a couple beers, then a glass of wine at dinner (or two). But then my anxiety starts to creep up and prevent me from making better choices...

Yes, that's my pattern and I can truthfully tell you that it's just as destructive over the course of many years as those who drink to blackout and finally get smart in their 30's or 40's and quit cold turkey, and permanently, due to their harder landing.

MN81713

It does get worse (if you are like me) a bottle used to sit for months, then days, now I can't go to sleep unless it's gone or if I drank too much I would leave a little for the AM knowing the hangover coming...I used to be a person that would not even finish a drink at the bar for hours cause I hated the taste and was looking at everyone else with judgement.....it took years, but I did get to the point where I was worse then the ppl I was judging... just my .02....

pinkdog

Hi 83mama, I drank like that for years. Then it became 6 everyday. Then 10 everyday. And so forth. That's the reason I quit. The increasing factor. Could take a few more years. If you can quit with no problem. Then you have no problem. If you need alcohol in your life, that's a problem. Best wishes to you. Stick around.

advbike

[QUOTE=hypochondriac;4209204]I don't think how much you drink is that important. Most people probably would not think my consumption was enough to class me as an alcoholic, but it was enough to lead me directly into a condition with 'alcoholic' in the title. So I think my measly 4 beers and half a bottle of wine was a problem. Sometimes I drank more, sometimes less. I felt for years that I should have been able to get a grip and just drink socially but I was never able to. I never drank in the morning but I got to the point where my hands were shaking in the morning and I had massive anxiety problems and lots of niggling illnesses. All of which appear to have been caused by alcohol. Try not to compare yourself to other people's drinking habits. There was a seventy odd yr old lady in my AA meeting who used to drink a couple of bottles a whisky a day and had been sober for 2 years. I felt like a lightweight next to her, but we're all the same once we're sober x[/QUOTE

I totally agree and can relate to this, especially the anxiety, and those niggling little illnesses. The amount isn't the key so much as what it's doing to us.

Dee74

Hey 83mama

The thing is - it's not so much how much we drink but how it affects us and our lives when we do. I drank more than some, and not as much as others but it still nearly killed me - and destroyed my life completely before that.

I think it would be a big mistake to judge your addiction against others and feel that you're someone not as bad.

Take that to it's logical extension and we could even twist that into a reason to drink again. I know I did.

There's no hierarchy here - your problem is as big and as worthy of attention and correction as anyone elses

D