Mistaken Beliefs about Relapse
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Mistaken Beliefs about Relapse
I have been reading about relapse and found this list of myths about relapse and thought it might help someone. Or at least provide food for thought.
This is Adapted from*"Mistaken Beliefs about Relapse" by Terence T. Gorski and Merlene Miller (Independence, Mis-souri: Herald House/Independence Press, 1988). Although not recent it still seems to me to be somewhat relevant regarding basic relapse prevention.
Although it refers in spots to one's "recovery program" as AA, I read "recovery program" to mean whatever plan or program one uses, with AA being one example. (For example, for me that would include Rational Recovery, mindfulness meditation, and SR where I get sober support and where I focus on expressing daily gratitude, etc.) Relapse is not inevitable. I have not relapsed as of today. But i am acutely aware how easily i could relapse. At times when I get ahead of myself I have a fear of it happening in the future. Thats why I'm reading about it.
I figure i cant be the only one so I'm posting this. I thought at the very least it might get a dialogue going.
Mistaken Belief #1: "Relapse comes on suddenly and without warning".
The relapse process begins long before alcohol or drug use starts. The relapse process is often triggered by the pain and discomfort of being sober.
Mistaken Belief #2: "So long as you do not use alcohol or drugs, you are recovering." Abstinence is only a prerequisite to recovery. It is not recovery. It is switching from a lifestyle centered around drinking and using, to a lifestyle centered around healthy living.
Mistaken Belief #3: "Relapse occurs because people drop out of treatment or stop going to AA meetings."
Most people stop going to treatment or AA because they are already in the process of relapse. Discontinuing treatment and AA is often the result of the relapse process rather than the cause.
Mistaken Belief #4:" Recovering persons will be consciously aware of the warning signs of relapse."
Most people who relapse are not consciously aware of the warning signs as they are occurring. It is only when they look back later that they can see all of the things that were going on. This is often owing to lack of information or denial.
Mistaken Belief #5: "Relapse can be avoided by willpower and self-discipline".Self-discipline and willpower alone will not prevent relapse. Relapse occurs because there is something missing in the recovery program. There are problems or conditions that are not being effectively managed or treated. There is something the person needs to do, or needs to learn, or needs to learn to stop doing.
Mistaken Belief #6:" People who relapse are not motivated to recover."
Most people prone to relapse are motivated to get well. They try everything they know to find comfortable sobri-ety. Some cannot stay sober because they lack the knowledge of their personal relapse warning signs. Others recognize the warning signs but are powerless to control them once they develop.
Mistaken Belief #7: "When people relapse, it means they have not hit bottom yet and that they need more pain."
Many people prone to relapse have hit bottom. They may make the decision to stop drinking, but the pain of so-briety may be so intense that it can interfere with the ability to stay sober.
Mistaken Belief #8: "Those who relapse over and over again are hopeless because they are “constitutionally incapable” of recovery."
Those who relapse repeatedly are not incapable of recovery. They have just not learned how to prevent relapse. They can learn how to get better.
Mistaken Belief #9: "Thinking about relapse will bring it about."
Ignoring the possibility of relapse is more likely to bring it about. Those who acknowledge the possibility and think about how it is apt to occur can take action to prevent it.
Any thoughts? Agree? Disagree?
This is Adapted from*"Mistaken Beliefs about Relapse" by Terence T. Gorski and Merlene Miller (Independence, Mis-souri: Herald House/Independence Press, 1988). Although not recent it still seems to me to be somewhat relevant regarding basic relapse prevention.
Although it refers in spots to one's "recovery program" as AA, I read "recovery program" to mean whatever plan or program one uses, with AA being one example. (For example, for me that would include Rational Recovery, mindfulness meditation, and SR where I get sober support and where I focus on expressing daily gratitude, etc.) Relapse is not inevitable. I have not relapsed as of today. But i am acutely aware how easily i could relapse. At times when I get ahead of myself I have a fear of it happening in the future. Thats why I'm reading about it.
I figure i cant be the only one so I'm posting this. I thought at the very least it might get a dialogue going.
Mistaken Belief #1: "Relapse comes on suddenly and without warning".
The relapse process begins long before alcohol or drug use starts. The relapse process is often triggered by the pain and discomfort of being sober.
Mistaken Belief #2: "So long as you do not use alcohol or drugs, you are recovering." Abstinence is only a prerequisite to recovery. It is not recovery. It is switching from a lifestyle centered around drinking and using, to a lifestyle centered around healthy living.
Mistaken Belief #3: "Relapse occurs because people drop out of treatment or stop going to AA meetings."
Most people stop going to treatment or AA because they are already in the process of relapse. Discontinuing treatment and AA is often the result of the relapse process rather than the cause.
Mistaken Belief #4:" Recovering persons will be consciously aware of the warning signs of relapse."
Most people who relapse are not consciously aware of the warning signs as they are occurring. It is only when they look back later that they can see all of the things that were going on. This is often owing to lack of information or denial.
Mistaken Belief #5: "Relapse can be avoided by willpower and self-discipline".Self-discipline and willpower alone will not prevent relapse. Relapse occurs because there is something missing in the recovery program. There are problems or conditions that are not being effectively managed or treated. There is something the person needs to do, or needs to learn, or needs to learn to stop doing.
Mistaken Belief #6:" People who relapse are not motivated to recover."
Most people prone to relapse are motivated to get well. They try everything they know to find comfortable sobri-ety. Some cannot stay sober because they lack the knowledge of their personal relapse warning signs. Others recognize the warning signs but are powerless to control them once they develop.
Mistaken Belief #7: "When people relapse, it means they have not hit bottom yet and that they need more pain."
Many people prone to relapse have hit bottom. They may make the decision to stop drinking, but the pain of so-briety may be so intense that it can interfere with the ability to stay sober.
Mistaken Belief #8: "Those who relapse over and over again are hopeless because they are “constitutionally incapable” of recovery."
Those who relapse repeatedly are not incapable of recovery. They have just not learned how to prevent relapse. They can learn how to get better.
Mistaken Belief #9: "Thinking about relapse will bring it about."
Ignoring the possibility of relapse is more likely to bring it about. Those who acknowledge the possibility and think about how it is apt to occur can take action to prevent it.
Any thoughts? Agree? Disagree?
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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Thanks Eternal. Just a couple of thoughts:
I do think this is tailored to AA's programme in a couple of areas.
No2. For RR the belief is that you put the drink down and your life does then improve automatically and naturally as a result of putting the drink down. It doesn't focus on a programme of recovery as such as in AA. For me,I used RR and since stopping drinking I have become aware of healthy eating, being a better person etc and made changes.
Same with No 5 really. It seems that it follows AA's theme that the recovery is a continuous program and if you don't follow it you will relapse.
Just my thoughts
I do think this is tailored to AA's programme in a couple of areas.
No2. For RR the belief is that you put the drink down and your life does then improve automatically and naturally as a result of putting the drink down. It doesn't focus on a programme of recovery as such as in AA. For me,I used RR and since stopping drinking I have become aware of healthy eating, being a better person etc and made changes.
Same with No 5 really. It seems that it follows AA's theme that the recovery is a continuous program and if you don't follow it you will relapse.
Just my thoughts
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Mistaken Belief #2: "So long as you do not use alcohol or drugs, you are recovering." Abstinence is only a prerequisite to recovery. It is not recovery. It is switching from a lifestyle centered around drinking and using, to a lifestyle centered around healthy living.
I believe that living a lifestyle centered around healthy living is imperative. Healthy meaning: Emotional health, physical health, mental health and spiritual health. All of these parts of a person needs to be nurtured in some way everyday. It feels like an arduous task, but in reality it is no different than drowning yourself in substances everyday. I give my recovery as much effort as I did with drinking.
I drank almost everyday, and so I spend the time everyday to nurture the good in me, and try to gain a better understanding of my mission in the world. So, far that mission is to be the best Mizzuno I can be, and to be kind along the way.
Treating life like it is a precious gift has helped immensely.
"Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us"- Marianne Williamson
I believe that living a lifestyle centered around healthy living is imperative. Healthy meaning: Emotional health, physical health, mental health and spiritual health. All of these parts of a person needs to be nurtured in some way everyday. It feels like an arduous task, but in reality it is no different than drowning yourself in substances everyday. I give my recovery as much effort as I did with drinking.
I drank almost everyday, and so I spend the time everyday to nurture the good in me, and try to gain a better understanding of my mission in the world. So, far that mission is to be the best Mizzuno I can be, and to be kind along the way.
Treating life like it is a precious gift has helped immensely.
"Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us"- Marianne Williamson
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Thanks for this, it is very useful.
I like 7. I do not think we should romanticize the pain caused by addiction or think that any insight can be found at the “bottom”. I like the idea much better that we reach bottom when we stop digging.
@ReadyAtlast
Does RR not have any concept of that the state of mind that started using could be prone to addiction again?
I like 7. I do not think we should romanticize the pain caused by addiction or think that any insight can be found at the “bottom”. I like the idea much better that we reach bottom when we stop digging.
@ReadyAtlast
Does RR not have any concept of that the state of mind that started using could be prone to addiction again?
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Location: Toronto Canada
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If I may? No. That initial addictive state of mind is changed for good. When this happens, we are free to get to work on healthier ways of living, but there is nothing that we must do in order that we continue in sobriety. The idea that sobriety be contingent on something else, is just addictive thinking.
Originally Posted by soberhawk 
@ReadyAtlast:
Does RR not have any concept of that the state of mind that started using could be prone to addiction again?
Does RR not have any concept of that the state of mind that started using could be prone to addiction again?
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Thanks Freshstart
Soberhawk-
Whilst I used RR and have posted above about its point I have made changes to my lifestyle since quitting which will ensure I wil not drink again. Of course, this IS recovery,it's my recovery and has happened since I stopped drinking.
What I meant was that RR itself does not state a specific program of recovery as say AA does. For me, when I stopped drinking I did healthier things and because I feel better I don't ever want to drink again. Maybe that's not RR, just my experience of recovery.
Soberhawk-
Whilst I used RR and have posted above about its point I have made changes to my lifestyle since quitting which will ensure I wil not drink again. Of course, this IS recovery,it's my recovery and has happened since I stopped drinking.
What I meant was that RR itself does not state a specific program of recovery as say AA does. For me, when I stopped drinking I did healthier things and because I feel better I don't ever want to drink again. Maybe that's not RR, just my experience of recovery.
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Join Date: May 2009
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I have found most of those things to be true for me in my experience of relapse.
Funny thing, I came across this same info very recently in a book from the 70's on preventing relapse! Gave me some good food for thought that I have already put to use. But the book belonged to a family member far away, so thanks for posting. Now I can have a "copy" for myself!
Funny thing, I came across this same info very recently in a book from the 70's on preventing relapse! Gave me some good food for thought that I have already put to use. But the book belonged to a family member far away, so thanks for posting. Now I can have a "copy" for myself!
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
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I've never been fond of lists, especially when I make them myself, but have no problem with this one. If I want to guarantee that something won't ever get done, all I need to do is put it on a "to do" list.
I don't see how just stopping a particular destructive behavior, in and of itself, will automatically bring about a better lifestyle. Subtracting misery doesn't mean I'm living well. I can't repair the wreckage of my past or build a better future simply by putting down the drink; that part is only the beginning, my entrance fee for living a happy and healthy life.
With that, I think this list underlines just how much hard work needs to go into achieving sobriety and living a better life. Having gotten sober, I can no longer lie to myself that all I need to do to be happy is to stop doing what makes me unhappy.
I don't see how just stopping a particular destructive behavior, in and of itself, will automatically bring about a better lifestyle. Subtracting misery doesn't mean I'm living well. I can't repair the wreckage of my past or build a better future simply by putting down the drink; that part is only the beginning, my entrance fee for living a happy and healthy life.
With that, I think this list underlines just how much hard work needs to go into achieving sobriety and living a better life. Having gotten sober, I can no longer lie to myself that all I need to do to be happy is to stop doing what makes me unhappy.
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Thank you all for your responses. And for having such open minds and expressing your views so clearly and without judgement.
I think it is easier for newcomers to draw whatever they need to from threads when this open and polite tone is taken. You all have my admiration. Thanks.
I believe strict RR would say that me having even a thought of preventing relapse is my addictive voice, getting my attention, so the beast can stir. Perhaps.
But if I do disregard it (rather than explore it), than I fear a part of me would go underground and split off from my sober self. And that's how my addiction began to begin with!
Different routes for each of us as we know.
One thing the list doesn't mention (perhaps because it is not a myth) is how sobriety sustaining the act of helping others can be. You can't focus on yourself as much when helping others. You remember you're one of many. And you realize you have learned things on this journey that really matter and should be shared. .
I think it is easier for newcomers to draw whatever they need to from threads when this open and polite tone is taken. You all have my admiration. Thanks.
I believe strict RR would say that me having even a thought of preventing relapse is my addictive voice, getting my attention, so the beast can stir. Perhaps.
But if I do disregard it (rather than explore it), than I fear a part of me would go underground and split off from my sober self. And that's how my addiction began to begin with!
Different routes for each of us as we know.
One thing the list doesn't mention (perhaps because it is not a myth) is how sobriety sustaining the act of helping others can be. You can't focus on yourself as much when helping others. You remember you're one of many. And you realize you have learned things on this journey that really matter and should be shared. .
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Originally Posted by EternalQ
One thing the list doesn't mention (perhaps because it is not a myth) is how sobriety sustaining the act of helping others can be. You can't focus on yourself as much when helping others. You remember you're one of many. And you realize you have learned things on this journey that really matter and should be shared. .
Thank you for the thread x
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
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Originally Posted by WantToDoThis
Thank you. I had not really focussed on relapse before. Probably, I expect it to happen, which is no doubt a self-fulfilling prophecy. Also, I'm not familiar with RR, so I have something new to discover.
Expecting a relapse to happen shows a deficit in the confidence department, indeed a self fulfilling prophecy. In fact, setting your confidence in yourself all the way to 11 is a great way to start.
You might have to change your username to WillDoThisNoMatterWhat.
Onward!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
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Mistaken Belief #4:" Recovering persons will be consciously aware of the warning signs of relapse."
Most people who relapse are not consciously aware of the warning signs as they are occurring. It is only when they look back later that they can see all of the things that were going on. This is often owing to lack of information or denial
I would have swore that I had some mental blank spot when it happened to me. It wasn't until a couple months afterward that I figured it out. Once I did the next time that type of thinking surfaced I was able to stop it.
Most people who relapse are not consciously aware of the warning signs as they are occurring. It is only when they look back later that they can see all of the things that were going on. This is often owing to lack of information or denial
I would have swore that I had some mental blank spot when it happened to me. It wasn't until a couple months afterward that I figured it out. Once I did the next time that type of thinking surfaced I was able to stop it.
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