Last drink tonight
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Boston, Massachusetts
Posts: 3
Last drink tonight
Hi all,
Just joined after finally realizing I have a problem over the course of the past few days. I always thought I can't be an 'alcoholic' because I was never physically addicted and can go long periods without drinking but, that is just semantics... really, it's been a problem since my first drink. Now I'm pulling myself together and quickly facing the reality that I just have to stay away from it entirely.
My boyfriend works in a bar/restaurant and enjoys drinking socially (which might make things more challenging).. I bought us a bottle of wine the other day. When he gets out, I'd like to go to a bar (if any are still open) and have a drink, then a few glasses of the wine before we go to bed tonight. Then that will be it. I'm still young, so maybe not forever, but for awhile.
I don't know whether I'll want to go to AA or what, but just thinking about not having alcohol in my life (the good times) has made me tear up more than once. I don't know what I'm in for, but I just want my life to be the best it can be and maybe the only way is without alcohol...
Just joined after finally realizing I have a problem over the course of the past few days. I always thought I can't be an 'alcoholic' because I was never physically addicted and can go long periods without drinking but, that is just semantics... really, it's been a problem since my first drink. Now I'm pulling myself together and quickly facing the reality that I just have to stay away from it entirely.
My boyfriend works in a bar/restaurant and enjoys drinking socially (which might make things more challenging).. I bought us a bottle of wine the other day. When he gets out, I'd like to go to a bar (if any are still open) and have a drink, then a few glasses of the wine before we go to bed tonight. Then that will be it. I'm still young, so maybe not forever, but for awhile.
I don't know whether I'll want to go to AA or what, but just thinking about not having alcohol in my life (the good times) has made me tear up more than once. I don't know what I'm in for, but I just want my life to be the best it can be and maybe the only way is without alcohol...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 705
I just wrote a post in the "alcoholism" forum about this topic...it's called "How has being an alcoholic changed your life for the better " (or something like that). It might give you some insight about life after recovery. Welcome to SR!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Boston, Massachusetts
Posts: 3
longbeachone,
Thanks for your response and welcome. You sound a lot like me, but I'm 22. I was thinking along those same lines- I think one of the (many) reasons I drank is because in daily life I'm kind of repressed. I'm afraid of looking stupid. I'll be interested to read the rest of the responses to your thread!
Thanks for your response and welcome. You sound a lot like me, but I'm 22. I was thinking along those same lines- I think one of the (many) reasons I drank is because in daily life I'm kind of repressed. I'm afraid of looking stupid. I'll be interested to read the rest of the responses to your thread!
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Welcome water. Sounds like you have some inner explorations to pursue. Best way to do that is taking alcohol out of the equation completely. It works best when it's a non-negotiable. I work on being sober right now and facing each arriving situation as they come...sober. Been almost 4 months now..of "sober now". Put sobriety together moment by moment and day by day...and see what you learn about your fine self.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Welcome water
I'm female and nearly 40. When I was 22 I didn't drink every day,just weekends sometimes not every weekend. But when I did drink I couldn't stop, just wanted more and often (not always) made a fool of myself doing and saying inappropriate things. I'd just left university,was starting a good career and had so many opportunities and a good future. I kept drinking, partying was normal what everyone did?
But when everyone else started to settle down, have families, just drink socially, my drinking escalated. The occasions of doing and saying bad things became more frequent,made a fool of myself at work, lost a few friends and boyfriends. I knew I drank too much when I did drink, why oh why could I not just moderate. But I still didn't stop.It got worse,it progressed
By my early 30s I'd lost a whole host of decent relationships. My career had stalled, no doubt partly due to my drunken behaviour,hangovers, not functioning properly. What made me look cute and funny at 22 made me look an embarrasing pitiful mess at 32.
Drinking had taken a huge toll on my body that I hadn't realized till I truly looked in the mirror. I had put on 3 stones in weight,was bloated in body and face, my hair was lank, my skin was pale,sweaty,flushed full of red veins. My eyes were dead. Mentally I was also a mess ,anxious,depressed, fearful, angry and had no hope.
I've been sober nearly ten months now and whilst the physical damage can't be totally repaired I do look much better. I feel 1000 times better.
I just so wish I had had the insight and courage to do something about my problem when I was your age. I had the knowledge but chose to ignore it thinking because I was young it was ok, everyone did it,I'd grow out of it.But it gets worse. I wish I'd not wasted the best 15-20 years of my life throwing away opportunities and hope just because of alcohol. I can't change it of course, I can only live for now. But I hope it may help other young people and they don't waste their lives over alcohol because it will only get worse.
I'm female and nearly 40. When I was 22 I didn't drink every day,just weekends sometimes not every weekend. But when I did drink I couldn't stop, just wanted more and often (not always) made a fool of myself doing and saying inappropriate things. I'd just left university,was starting a good career and had so many opportunities and a good future. I kept drinking, partying was normal what everyone did?
But when everyone else started to settle down, have families, just drink socially, my drinking escalated. The occasions of doing and saying bad things became more frequent,made a fool of myself at work, lost a few friends and boyfriends. I knew I drank too much when I did drink, why oh why could I not just moderate. But I still didn't stop.It got worse,it progressed
By my early 30s I'd lost a whole host of decent relationships. My career had stalled, no doubt partly due to my drunken behaviour,hangovers, not functioning properly. What made me look cute and funny at 22 made me look an embarrasing pitiful mess at 32.
Drinking had taken a huge toll on my body that I hadn't realized till I truly looked in the mirror. I had put on 3 stones in weight,was bloated in body and face, my hair was lank, my skin was pale,sweaty,flushed full of red veins. My eyes were dead. Mentally I was also a mess ,anxious,depressed, fearful, angry and had no hope.
I've been sober nearly ten months now and whilst the physical damage can't be totally repaired I do look much better. I feel 1000 times better.
I just so wish I had had the insight and courage to do something about my problem when I was your age. I had the knowledge but chose to ignore it thinking because I was young it was ok, everyone did it,I'd grow out of it.But it gets worse. I wish I'd not wasted the best 15-20 years of my life throwing away opportunities and hope just because of alcohol. I can't change it of course, I can only live for now. But I hope it may help other young people and they don't waste their lives over alcohol because it will only get worse.
to the family! You've come to a great place for support. 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 155
I drank through my 20s and 30s and woke up one day to realize that I was 40. Eighteen years goes by quick when you're drunk. Now, I'm trying to play "catch up" on all that I missed and try to fix all that I screwed up and neglected. Don't let this be you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Boston, Massachusetts
Posts: 3
Thank you for sharing your experience ReadyAtLast, that's definitely a huge wake up call. I'm exactly how you were, I feel 'normal' because I'm young and drink relatively infrequently.
another thing I realized is that my awful hangovers are a sign of a problem... I wake up too lethargic and shamed to do anything yet anxious with my heart racing and sometimes shaking... I wondered why other people could go to work or class the next day, meanwhile I'm going through hell privately. Not every time, but once is more than enough..
another thing I realized is that my awful hangovers are a sign of a problem... I wake up too lethargic and shamed to do anything yet anxious with my heart racing and sometimes shaking... I wondered why other people could go to work or class the next day, meanwhile I'm going through hell privately. Not every time, but once is more than enough..
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hi wateroverwine. It's so good you've reached out for help - wise of you to realize what alcohol is doing to your life.
I'm another one who didn't pay attention to the early warning signs. I knew right from the first drink that I was in trouble. I loved it too much. I refused to admit that every time it was in my system it led to danger & an unpredictable outcome. I continued for decades playing with it & in the end I drank all day - completely dependent on it. This will never be you wateroverwine. I'm glad you found us and are on your way to a better life.
I'm another one who didn't pay attention to the early warning signs. I knew right from the first drink that I was in trouble. I loved it too much. I refused to admit that every time it was in my system it led to danger & an unpredictable outcome. I continued for decades playing with it & in the end I drank all day - completely dependent on it. This will never be you wateroverwine. I'm glad you found us and are on your way to a better life.
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