anona

How do you do it? How do you make sure your kids are safe & still manage to get time to yourself?

I cannot leave my child alone with my AH. This is a huge shift for us, I was used to being able to run errands on a whim or go out with friends occasionally or go to certain doctor's appts without a kid in tow. I have to admit, I feel a bit trapped now. Fortunately I do have a couple of friends who will watch my child when I really need it but we can't afford babysitters or anything like that so I'm with my child nearly 24/7. It is so exhausting!

AH is starting outpatient rehab in a couple of days and will not be home much for the next several months. I'm so glad he is getting help but I don't know how I'm going to deal with not even having him to help around the house or play with our child so I can make dinner. I know a lot of moms do it alone but I feel like I'm not as able to do it for some reason.

And how much is your spouse involved in parenting decisions and day to day life? I'm just curious, I'm still reeling from the discovery that he started drinking again and feel like I lost my co-parent and need to figure out how to navigate these waters alone.

lillamy

That's the point when I decided I needed to leave - when I had to say no to a promotion and quit night classes I had already paid for because my kids were not safe with their father.

thislonelygirl

I feel the same. I cant trust my ah to be alone with the kids either.
I dont know when I will ever be able to trust him to. If ever.
Its a tough job being with an alcoholic. Forget going out with friends, or letting ah take kids for the day by himself. Honestly him being gone will be the best thing even if its not faur. He needs the help. You and your kids need less stress and alcoholics dont really help. Not the way in which a sober minded partner can. I find it easier on everyone when ah is at work or away even if he helps a little while doing housework. Its still me being number 1 parent and him a child.
Its not fair but youll get through it and atleast its a decision that WILL benefit your family.
But I understand your feelings. Its not fair and you shouldn't have to handle the kids alone.

AllThings

If I REALLY need him to watch the kids I take his money and car keys. Other than that I have a tracker on his phone and I watch wherever they go, if he is allowed to drive. If anything goes wrong the kids know to call me.

It sucks, I'm living it too...