Just for today

Old 09-26-2013, 12:14 AM
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Just for today

I think I'm in danger of replacing my addiction to my A with an addiction to SR, and Alanon.
If I'm not here reading posts and stickies I'm sharing at an online meeting or reading, reading, reading codependency literature.
I think about it driving home from work and log on here before I even check my email.
I think I'm feeding on the fact that it makes me "feel" better but at the same time I think I'm using reading about it to avoid actually doing anything about it.
So
I'm going to come home from work and clean house. Friday night I'm going to do some hair dyeing eyebrow plucking personal care. This weekend I'm going to go grocery shopping, do lots of laundry and catch up on paperwork I've neglected for work.
If recovery is going to be in my life I have to find a "fit"
"JUST FOR TODAY:-I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision." (from the Alanon bookmark)
Here we go
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Old 09-26-2013, 12:18 AM
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I was the same way when I first found out I could break free from my A. My obsession with the chaos of alcoholism became an obsession with recovery. Eventually it leveled off, but it took doing the same thing you're doing now: building normalcy into my life through self-care. Enjoy your weekend. You deserve it!
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Old 09-26-2013, 12:21 AM
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Hi jessica, welcome. Very best wishes to you.
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Old 09-26-2013, 03:50 AM
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Jessica, I've been feeling the same way. I am also going to throw myself into some things I like and need to do this weekend. I'm sure once I get some balance back I'll feel better. It helps that my BF is going on a biking trip for a couple of days. It will be nice to have some solitude and concentrate on me in a positive way that doesn't involve obsessing about my mental health (or him). It's really hard at first because we have so many realizations and revelations about ourselves that it's tough not to think about it a lot. I've found that yoga and meditation help to take me out of my head.

Good luck to you, and have a great weekend!
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Old 09-26-2013, 05:10 AM
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JJ, that's kind of funny, as I just love that bookmark also.

Hey, maybe we should get that tattooed on us like the Miss America contestant? I know it's a lot longer than the Serenity Prayer, but I have a fair amount of acreage available...unfortunately most of it where I could never read anything tattooed there, though!

Seriously, I really like that bookmark and that section you quoted about the plan. Wishing you success in your day!
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Old 09-26-2013, 08:10 AM
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I have been feeling the same way lately. It's only been a few months since I stopped denying the seriousness of my AH's addictions, and throughout this time I have spent massive amounts of time reading recovery literature, on sites like this, writing in my journal, etc. Sometimes I feel like I need to step back and just take care of my day-to-day life...but on the other hand I think it is good for me right now to fill my mind with these new ideas, ideas of recovery, of independence, of strength, of detachment, of hope for me...so that I don't fall back into old patterns of thought which I held for many years.

My thoughts and beliefs about my marriage have pretty much done a 180 in the past few months, and I feel good about it. I no longer feel powerless over my own destiny - I realize now I don't have to let him have control over my life and that of our children - and I want to stay on that path. So I keep coming here!
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