Sudden depression, anxiety and fear
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Mars
Posts: 296
Sudden depression, anxiety and fear
Hi,
I'm on day 40 and so far things have been going pretty well. I've been very tired the past couple of weeks and sleeping a lot, but that was improving. Otherwise I was fine.
About 15 minutes ago I suddenly started to feel depressed and really scared. I still feel that way. There's also a lot of anxiety.
I don't feel like drinking. I don't feel like doing anything, but at the same time feel like running and hiding to somewhere. And yet at the same time I'm paralyzed by fear.
It's a nasty combination and I'm both surprised and puzzled. Where did this come from? How? By what mechanism did it occur?
This week I have my first appointment at the psychiatry department so help is near. But I'm still wondering if others have experienced this in the same way. And what happened during that phase? And when did it go away?
Thanks.
J.
I'm on day 40 and so far things have been going pretty well. I've been very tired the past couple of weeks and sleeping a lot, but that was improving. Otherwise I was fine.
About 15 minutes ago I suddenly started to feel depressed and really scared. I still feel that way. There's also a lot of anxiety.
I don't feel like drinking. I don't feel like doing anything, but at the same time feel like running and hiding to somewhere. And yet at the same time I'm paralyzed by fear.
It's a nasty combination and I'm both surprised and puzzled. Where did this come from? How? By what mechanism did it occur?
This week I have my first appointment at the psychiatry department so help is near. But I'm still wondering if others have experienced this in the same way. And what happened during that phase? And when did it go away?
Thanks.
J.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,242
((((James))))
Its still relatively early in your recovery, I remember similar feelings at 3 months, just remember this rollercoaster of recovery has huge peaks and troughs, try not to overthink this, ride the feelings it will pass, why don't you try and have some food, some hot sweet tea and a nap?
L xx
Its still relatively early in your recovery, I remember similar feelings at 3 months, just remember this rollercoaster of recovery has huge peaks and troughs, try not to overthink this, ride the feelings it will pass, why don't you try and have some food, some hot sweet tea and a nap?
L xx
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
Early sobriety is a time of emotional and physical ups and downs. Your body and brain are learning to adapt to normal functioning and it takes time. Can't say how much time as it's different for everyone. Forty days is a great start.
I wish you well at your doctor appt and hope they can help you with this.
I wish you well at your doctor appt and hope they can help you with this.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
It's crazy how many of us used alcohol and drugs to suppress emotions.
And when we stop using, we have to FEEL again. After years of daily drinking, I had forgotten what fear felt like. What depression felt like. But also what happiness felt like too.
Sometimes I still get emotions that I don't understand because I numbed myself for so long. I cried last Friday for no reason. I wasn't depressed or anxious. I wasn't sad. I don't know what I was feeling. And I'll have 6 months on Saturday! My sponsor said, "maybe it was happiness or gratitude." Who knows?
The point is, this is all normal.
Just be honest with your doc. Good luck!
And when we stop using, we have to FEEL again. After years of daily drinking, I had forgotten what fear felt like. What depression felt like. But also what happiness felt like too.
Sometimes I still get emotions that I don't understand because I numbed myself for so long. I cried last Friday for no reason. I wasn't depressed or anxious. I wasn't sad. I don't know what I was feeling. And I'll have 6 months on Saturday! My sponsor said, "maybe it was happiness or gratitude." Who knows?
The point is, this is all normal.
Just be honest with your doc. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Central California
Posts: 83
James, I am kinda new to recovery. But i remember driving to the clinic when I stopped drinking having to pull of the side of the road because the panic attacks/anxiety were so great I could not make it in one straight shot. I might well have been drunk the way I was driving. Well I did make it in sections. I literately thought I was going to die. I opened my car door about a quarter way as i was going to ask anyone near by to help me. But I knew it was anxiety. Severe, paper bag breathing severe. I also remember spending ALL day crying from depression- LIKE A BABY! My brain was just in SHOCK! It was looking for the daily poison i stripped it of! I will never forget that horrific day...if asked "if i make this go away right now, will you give up your home, job in exchange"....I think so James..talk about feeling suicidal....wow. I think the others are right. It is going to take us a while to get our synapses firing. I am taking up exercise to help, eat healthy as possible, last but not least.....stay here! Stay engaged.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
I hope you feel better, James.
And try to remember that feelings are just feelings. They don't control you, and you can learn to recognize them and let them go. Congratulations on your recovery!
And try to remember that feelings are just feelings. They don't control you, and you can learn to recognize them and let them go. Congratulations on your recovery!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
If it helps to not feel like you're the only one, please remind yourself you're NOT. When we get sober the body and mind have to go into search/rescue/recovery mode. It's a very emotionally raw time, hard to feel and process emotions that we stuffed for soooooo long. Add to that frequent acceleration and deceleration of hormones and chemicals and its a perfect storm for emotional havoc. You are proactive with your health and that will serve you well.
I searched in the beginning to find the person I use to be to no avail. It took some time and patience. But I never found that girl. But I found something better
and you will too.
Good luck with your appointment James, please let us know how it goes!
I searched in the beginning to find the person I use to be to no avail. It took some time and patience. But I never found that girl. But I found something better
and you will too.Good luck with your appointment James, please let us know how it goes!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Mars
Posts: 296
Morning! Today I feel a lot better. My sleep was pretty good. Woke up with a tension headache but that's gone away.
I really appreciate all the responses. It can feel very alone and to know that others have gone through the same thing makes me feel a lot better.
Last night I tried to figure out what caused it, but eventually realized that that only added to the stress and that I couldn't know for sure anyway. So I just let it be and went to bed.
I'll talk about it Friday when I have my appointment. It's time for some mental healing. I'm still walking around with a trauma, which doesn't make things easier. It needs to be dealt with. Fortunately that gets started up soon.
I feel like that's my final step. Getting rid of this trauma that I self-medicated with alcohol.
Anyway, thanks again! I'm feeling a lot more optimistic today.
J.
I really appreciate all the responses. It can feel very alone and to know that others have gone through the same thing makes me feel a lot better.
Last night I tried to figure out what caused it, but eventually realized that that only added to the stress and that I couldn't know for sure anyway. So I just let it be and went to bed.
I'll talk about it Friday when I have my appointment. It's time for some mental healing. I'm still walking around with a trauma, which doesn't make things easier. It needs to be dealt with. Fortunately that gets started up soon.
I feel like that's my final step. Getting rid of this trauma that I self-medicated with alcohol.
Anyway, thanks again! I'm feeling a lot more optimistic today.
J.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
Hi James,
Panic attacks come in different forms. What you described sounds very similar to the ones I experienced. I was fine, and then out of nowhere I was just blasted with depression and anxiety, almost as if someone had drugged me with some sort of hallucinogen. Didn't need anything external to trigger it either. Sometimes it would start with just a random thought that had a completely illogical and abnormal amount of fear and depression attached to it. I'd feel kinda seperated from reality, and bla, bla, bla.... it's feeling that's almost impossible to describe. One I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. For real. IMO and experience, it's the absolute worst feeling anyone can feel.
Anyhow... I posted the other day things that I did to overcome those crippling episodes. You might want to check my post in this thread http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...iety-help.html . Know also, that at least in my experience, what a psychiatrist WILL absolutely do is prescribe medication. Where I live, that's their purpose and function. For some, medication is necessary, but I think it's important to know that we have a say in regards to what we choose to do. Doctors aren't Gods. But it's always good to have a more informed opinion, and some bloodwork to see if there's anything physical that's causing our problems. Many alcoholics are hypoglycemic, and that too can bring on the feelings you describe. Best of luck. There is hope, you're not alone, and you can navigate through this stuff. As ugly and hopeless as it may at times seem. I am living, happy proof.
Panic attacks come in different forms. What you described sounds very similar to the ones I experienced. I was fine, and then out of nowhere I was just blasted with depression and anxiety, almost as if someone had drugged me with some sort of hallucinogen. Didn't need anything external to trigger it either. Sometimes it would start with just a random thought that had a completely illogical and abnormal amount of fear and depression attached to it. I'd feel kinda seperated from reality, and bla, bla, bla.... it's feeling that's almost impossible to describe. One I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. For real. IMO and experience, it's the absolute worst feeling anyone can feel.
Anyhow... I posted the other day things that I did to overcome those crippling episodes. You might want to check my post in this thread http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...iety-help.html . Know also, that at least in my experience, what a psychiatrist WILL absolutely do is prescribe medication. Where I live, that's their purpose and function. For some, medication is necessary, but I think it's important to know that we have a say in regards to what we choose to do. Doctors aren't Gods. But it's always good to have a more informed opinion, and some bloodwork to see if there's anything physical that's causing our problems. Many alcoholics are hypoglycemic, and that too can bring on the feelings you describe. Best of luck. There is hope, you're not alone, and you can navigate through this stuff. As ugly and hopeless as it may at times seem. I am living, happy proof.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
I know it's your experience but I think it's a mistake to universalise that experience and try and pre-empt what a psychiatrist might do for someone else Joe.
Unless you or I are clairvoyants we simply don't know
D
Unless you or I are clairvoyants we simply don't know
D
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
I agree, Dee. But I also think that when seeing a medical professional, psychiatrist or otherwise, it's always important to be up front about our addictions. If medicine is in cards, they need to know because some anxiety meds are addicting and can trigger alcohol relapse.
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