Staying sober for myself
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Staying sober for myself
I have been having serious problems with my boyfriend since I quit drinking 5 days ago. I decided to quit drinking for him and my family because everyone was so upset with me.
He has been picking on me as many of you know for the last few days over other issues that have nothing to do with my drinking. Last night we talked and he apologized and said he was saying things out of anger to hurt me.
I have forgiven him for saying these things as he has forgiven me for hiding alcohol.
Today I woke up happy... I know that I am going to remain sober for myself first and for him, my kids and family second. Fortunately my kids do not know I have been drinking.
I want to let you all know that even if you have been sober for years as I was, taking that first sip drink puts you right back to where you were before, but much worse. I never knew I would start drinking in the morning. None of us can take that first drink and be fine with it. We will start drinking again and eventually fighting for our lives to quit again.
Today I am staying sober for myself and I feel good.
He has been picking on me as many of you know for the last few days over other issues that have nothing to do with my drinking. Last night we talked and he apologized and said he was saying things out of anger to hurt me.
I have forgiven him for saying these things as he has forgiven me for hiding alcohol.
Today I woke up happy... I know that I am going to remain sober for myself first and for him, my kids and family second. Fortunately my kids do not know I have been drinking.
I want to let you all know that even if you have been sober for years as I was, taking that first sip drink puts you right back to where you were before, but much worse. I never knew I would start drinking in the morning. None of us can take that first drink and be fine with it. We will start drinking again and eventually fighting for our lives to quit again.
Today I am staying sober for myself and I feel good.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Yes - for yourself first. 
The part about taking that first sip after being sober for years - it was exactly that way for me. I sunk to a level I never dreamed possible. I almost lost the fight - and the drinking was not fun, relaxing, exciting, or any of the things it once was. Nothing there for us anymore - I'm so glad you realize it.
The part about taking that first sip after being sober for years - it was exactly that way for me. I sunk to a level I never dreamed possible. I almost lost the fight - and the drinking was not fun, relaxing, exciting, or any of the things it once was. Nothing there for us anymore - I'm so glad you realize it.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
I'm really proud of you for your recommitment. Doing this for yourself, for your own sanity, for your well-being, and for your life is commendable.
I think that kind of self-dedication is absolutely necessary. But I also think it's ok to work towards sobriety for others as a secondary reason too. In the rooms, you hear you have to want to do it for yourself. But I also stay sober because because I am tired of hurting people because of my drinking. I never want to have to put my family in a situation again where they have to watch me die. I never want to mistreat any future girlfriends the way I've treated women in the past. I refuse to be that human wrecking ball that destroys everyone in my path.
I think that kind of self-dedication is absolutely necessary. But I also think it's ok to work towards sobriety for others as a secondary reason too. In the rooms, you hear you have to want to do it for yourself. But I also stay sober because because I am tired of hurting people because of my drinking. I never want to have to put my family in a situation again where they have to watch me die. I never want to mistreat any future girlfriends the way I've treated women in the past. I refuse to be that human wrecking ball that destroys everyone in my path.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Thanks for the inspiring post, you are right on the money! I never thought I'd start drinking in the mornings, either 
Glad you are on the right track and doing this for the right reasons. Have a wonderful sober Sunday!
Glad you are on the right track and doing this for the right reasons. Have a wonderful sober Sunday!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK (England)
Posts: 2,782
Thanks for your post Toomuch, its a good reminder about what happens if we ever pick up a drink again. I am glad you are going to remain sober for yourself first. I think that's really important. Hope you have a lovely day.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Thank you for sharing what must be a confronting journey right now.
I feel enormous gratitude for those like you, who share this kind of pain to warn the rest of us it's never safe to take that next drink. I keep telling myself I am only saying no to 1 drink (because I'm betting if I have 1, it will be more like 100!...or 1000....or....I don't even want to think about it).
May you reclaim what is yours already Toomutch....you are still that strong person who got through those many years of sobriety. Be gentle with yourself.
Sending you hugs.xx
I feel enormous gratitude for those like you, who share this kind of pain to warn the rest of us it's never safe to take that next drink. I keep telling myself I am only saying no to 1 drink (because I'm betting if I have 1, it will be more like 100!...or 1000....or....I don't even want to think about it).
May you reclaim what is yours already Toomutch....you are still that strong person who got through those many years of sobriety. Be gentle with yourself.
Sending you hugs.xx
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by bigsombrero 
Thanks for the inspiring post, you are right on the money! I never thought I'd start drinking in the mornings, either...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Toomcuh it looks like you are making some real progress. Your post reminds me a little of my wife and her quitting bc she f"ed" up and feeling like she had to quit to appease me. Different circumstance but never quit for someone else - it won't last and will just screw with you head. As an alcoholic the relapse will take you to a darker place - its a staircase to hell.
I have posted a lot and summarized my most recent experiences here: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...me-dead-2.html
My sobriety was/is being tested but my strength is because I am not guiding this process. Sure I can make choices but there is a guiding force that is saving me - yeah I know I am fine with any challenges on this or neg feedback but its different than simply fighting this fight every day. That just seems like an awful way to live.
Your early, you have had 5 yrs, seems like you got a lot going on - I just want to send you some positive energy. If you have not, think of a structured network. My safety net, which includes but is not limited to SR has saved me many of times. Further, I think people here welcome you with open arms no matter what you do or if you relapse, which is good. We all need a no judgement space. But a f2f relationship to augment this might help, as it has a bit more accountability, which is helpful in a very difficult situation.
Good luck and congratulations on starting the most important journey you will ever embark on!
I have posted a lot and summarized my most recent experiences here: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...me-dead-2.html
My sobriety was/is being tested but my strength is because I am not guiding this process. Sure I can make choices but there is a guiding force that is saving me - yeah I know I am fine with any challenges on this or neg feedback but its different than simply fighting this fight every day. That just seems like an awful way to live.
Your early, you have had 5 yrs, seems like you got a lot going on - I just want to send you some positive energy. If you have not, think of a structured network. My safety net, which includes but is not limited to SR has saved me many of times. Further, I think people here welcome you with open arms no matter what you do or if you relapse, which is good. We all need a no judgement space. But a f2f relationship to augment this might help, as it has a bit more accountability, which is helpful in a very difficult situation.
Good luck and congratulations on starting the most important journey you will ever embark on!
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