keeppushing4wrd

I am married to an alcoholic. I was fed up with it so I decided to move out. I did but right away felt like it was a really bad decision. I came home immediately. I have started being nice to him but now I see that I have been sucked into being an enabler, giving him a ride to the store to buy beer "because he is going to quit and needs to ween himself off". I want things to be normal but the nicer I am to him, the more he drinks. I need to know how to put my foot down and not be his enabler without being mean to him. Before I left I wouldn't dare give him a ride to buy beer. I would barely even talk to him. We do have two sons that live here with us. I'm always mad and self destructive (eating my problems away). I need to feel happy but I am just so confused about how to handle him.

Dee74

Hi and welcome keeppushing4wrd

I think you probably have a lot to be mad at - and, if your husband is anything like I was, justifiably so.

Have you ever thought about alanon? I think it could be a huge help to you in terms of working out healthy boundaries.

I know you'll find support here - I hope you'll also check out our Family and Friends forum as well

D

CuteNGayYay

Have you ever been to Alanon? I've been to a few in the past and it's a great support group for people with family who have an addiction problem.

keeppushing4wrd

Hi,

Thank you. I have not tried alanon but I am willing. It's a 20 yr marriage with 3

sons, very much worth trying to survive this alcohol problem. Thanks for your help.

soberclover

I'm a recovering alcoholic as well as in relationship with an alcoholic. I'm currently reading "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. A great book I've read quite some time ago but worth a read a few times.

ProgressNotPerfection

What I have had to do was to sit down and write out what my boundaries are - what I will and won't do - and these are to protect me. Then I stuck to those boundaries.