Starting My New Journey
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: acceptance
Posts: 126
Starting My New Journey
I posted on Monday regarding my situation and the fear I was feeling about AH behaviors.
The situation got worse the next day, I went to the police, they took a report but they offered standby to get clothes and personal hygiene type items only for 20 minutes. Retained a lawyer for advice and filing and set plans with friends to help on a few days I knew he had plans. Yesterday he was nice, almost felt sorry and cancelled my plans but he came home telling me it is family/friends getting him angry (blame game) and my family/friends assured me it was just more manipulation and stick with our plan. He left to go to a family event today which I knew was about 4 hours. Not a lot of time but enough to get things I wanted. Friends parked around the corner and pulled up when he left. No furniture, no kitchen stuff and many many things I wanted but not enough time ..... but I got everything I can't replace. Took before and after photos and videos. I also took some things I absolutely know he wants (but I do too) but at least it may make him willing to negotiate once the anger subsides.
The calls and texts have already begun, he is calling the police, yada yada yada and I am ready to take a hot bath and relax. Movie time with my loved ones.
Left a brief note saying hope we can still settle amicably but his family /friends like to stir the pot and alcohol fuels the fire so who knows how this will turn out.
Stick a fork in me - I'm done!!!! (Done and out of the oven)
I already had a meltdown a bit ago but know this was the right thing to do. It's going to be rough and I know it but need to remember to watch for the light at the end of the tunnel.
My family/friends say after just 5 hours they can already see the stress lifting from my face and eyes.
Looking forward to the first night of good sleep in 2-1/2 months.
The situation got worse the next day, I went to the police, they took a report but they offered standby to get clothes and personal hygiene type items only for 20 minutes. Retained a lawyer for advice and filing and set plans with friends to help on a few days I knew he had plans. Yesterday he was nice, almost felt sorry and cancelled my plans but he came home telling me it is family/friends getting him angry (blame game) and my family/friends assured me it was just more manipulation and stick with our plan. He left to go to a family event today which I knew was about 4 hours. Not a lot of time but enough to get things I wanted. Friends parked around the corner and pulled up when he left. No furniture, no kitchen stuff and many many things I wanted but not enough time ..... but I got everything I can't replace. Took before and after photos and videos. I also took some things I absolutely know he wants (but I do too) but at least it may make him willing to negotiate once the anger subsides.
The calls and texts have already begun, he is calling the police, yada yada yada and I am ready to take a hot bath and relax. Movie time with my loved ones.
Left a brief note saying hope we can still settle amicably but his family /friends like to stir the pot and alcohol fuels the fire so who knows how this will turn out.
Stick a fork in me - I'm done!!!! (Done and out of the oven)
I already had a meltdown a bit ago but know this was the right thing to do. It's going to be rough and I know it but need to remember to watch for the light at the end of the tunnel.
My family/friends say after just 5 hours they can already see the stress lifting from my face and eyes.
Looking forward to the first night of good sleep in 2-1/2 months.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Originally Posted by Charmed3 
My family/friends say after just 5 hours they can already see the stress lifting from my face and eyes.
Congrats on handling it all so well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: acceptance
Posts: 126
24 hours later, still strong in my decision but weak in my emotions.
Moments where tears spring forward without warning or I choke when I try to speak. I know I'm not alone but sometimes it's hard to feel like I'm not.
Family had no idea how bad it was. I tried to tell them before, they didn't realize how bad it was when the doors shut and the blinds were closed. Walking through the house with my Bluetooth on and phone in my pocket so AH did not know anyone was listening, I allowed them to listen in to my own private he** a few times. Sad but unless they heard with their own ears they would never have believed it. So I think they finally understand some of it but only those of you in my shoes now or previously can relate to the fear that had a grip on me. An angry unpredictable alcoholic with access to weapons is never a good situation.
Leaving released some of the fear, time and self care will dictate when i will be free of the rest. Just like an alcoholic I have a road to recovery. It is not going to happen over night so I plan to take one day at a time.
Tonight I thank The Lord for helping me and say a prayer for those still still needing his guidance.
May we all find peace someday.
Moments where tears spring forward without warning or I choke when I try to speak. I know I'm not alone but sometimes it's hard to feel like I'm not.
Family had no idea how bad it was. I tried to tell them before, they didn't realize how bad it was when the doors shut and the blinds were closed. Walking through the house with my Bluetooth on and phone in my pocket so AH did not know anyone was listening, I allowed them to listen in to my own private he** a few times. Sad but unless they heard with their own ears they would never have believed it. So I think they finally understand some of it but only those of you in my shoes now or previously can relate to the fear that had a grip on me. An angry unpredictable alcoholic with access to weapons is never a good situation.
Leaving released some of the fear, time and self care will dictate when i will be free of the rest. Just like an alcoholic I have a road to recovery. It is not going to happen over night so I plan to take one day at a time.
Tonight I thank The Lord for helping me and say a prayer for those still still needing his guidance.
May we all find peace someday.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 149
Good for you! I I know that feeling of peace and safety after you get out. It strengthens with time. I am starting to really enjoy getting to know myself again. When I was with my axbf everything revolved around him and his alcoholism....now my life is about me and its refreshing. Best of luck to you 
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