Day 2
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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Day 2
Officially on day 2. High anxiety. It's awful. I hate this and I don't know why i've put myself through this over and over again through the years. I just keep praying for guidance. My husband is supportive and our marriage is good but financially things are tough with him changing jobs etc. So much stress. I'm also so fatigued I feel like I have been run over by a truck and i have so much to do. Just wanted to vent, it helps. 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,920
I'm losing my mind to anxiety and depression, just don't give up. Try some breathing exercises or take a long walk. type in MAHLER adagietto in youtube and give a listen to the relaxing music. Today is either going to be horrible or great for me, and I'm not sure what I am doing anymore. Be glad you have a companion, it sucks to wither away alone.
I hope you find a calm center somewhere.
I hope you find a calm center somewhere.
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Thank you , Acheleus. I'm trying to stay busy some won't focus on the world closing in on me. I have indeed noticed that walking or exercising helps with my anxiety but then whenim having an attack it's hard for me to get up and get out for fear that I'll "lose it" while out and about in th neighborhood. I also have been having this issue at work. I work 12 hour shifts and pray the entire time that I'll make it through. This anxiety is debilitating. Thank you for the link. Going to listen now.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,190
Well done on stopping - it's really tough to not pick up a drink when your feeling so highly strung. A lot of us here have went through the same thing - it's not easy but it's worth it in the long run. I hope you start to feel the benefits soon.
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I have anti anxiety meds but when i take one it completely puts me out and I can't afford to be in bed all day. Have lots to do before the kids get home. I'm hypersensitive to any small sensation in my body. A twitch in my chest and I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack etc. I previously had two weeks and felt great. I'm praying to make it through. After relapsing over and over for 11 years I'm finally done. A month ago a friend of mine from high school drank so much he vomited in his sleep and choked on it and died. That could have easily been me any day of the week as I black out every time I drank. I'm scared to death now. Not like I didn't know this could happen, but it really hit home.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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Thank you. I was planning on drinking after I get done working this afternoon because I looked at myself in the mirror earlier and almost had another panic attack. I hate myself, and I feel nervous about who I am and what I am doing, but I know drinking will make it worse, but I just want to drink, listen to music, and crawl in bed. Some life.
We can stay sober together.
We can stay sober together.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Indenial, Ach, please believe that it DOES get better. And, even if your AV voice is telling you otherwise, you KNOW that the alternative to sobriety is worse. Indenial, calming the anxiety was 90% of my reason for getting drunk. Ironically, I was never more anxious than when I woke up from a night of drinking. At Day 24, I can tell you that my anxiety is virtually gone. It is such a relief. Stay strong you two. You have many, many people here supporting you.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Uk
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Originally Posted by Indenial618 
I have anti anxiety meds but when i take one it completely puts me out and I can't afford to be in bed all day. Have lots to do before the kids get home. I'm hypersensitive to any small sensation in my body. A twitch in my chest and I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack etc. I previously had two weeks and felt great. I'm praying to make it through. After relapsing over and over for 11 years I'm finally done. A month ago a friend of mine from high school drank so much he vomited in his sleep and choked on it and died. That could have easily been me any day of the week as I black out every time I drank. I'm scared to death now. Not like I didn't know this could happen, but it really hit home.
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[QUOTE=Acheleus;4191670]Thank you. I was planning on drinking after I get done working this afternoon because I looked at myself in the mirror earlier and almost had another panic attack. I hate myself, and I feel nervous about who I am and what I am doing, but I know drinking will make it worse, but I just want to drink, listen to music, and crawl in bed. Some life.
We can stay sober together.[/Q
Yes we can stay sober together! I know from past experience the longer I keep this poison out of my body the better I feel and sometimes I even slightly like myself. I too hate myself and I am critical of everything I do. My mother was not a loving mother at all and criticized everything I did, jeopardized every relationship I had and mooches off me until no end. I cut her out of my life completely and even had to get police involved as she would show up outside my house screaming that she felt so sorry for me because I was so unhappy with my life. I was actually ok with life at that time but her words burned a hole in me and I started over evaluating everything to see why she would think that. My dad divorced my mom when I was a teen and remarried right away and gave his new wife's jailbird addicted children everything and always made some excuse as to why I wasn't good enough. Having family backgrounds like ours can really take a toll on our self esteem. I am trying so hard to break out of the stigma and not let them define who I am. We can do this together. Whoever said blood is thicker than water obviously was not part of a dysfunctional family.
We can stay sober together.[/Q
Yes we can stay sober together! I know from past experience the longer I keep this poison out of my body the better I feel and sometimes I even slightly like myself. I too hate myself and I am critical of everything I do. My mother was not a loving mother at all and criticized everything I did, jeopardized every relationship I had and mooches off me until no end. I cut her out of my life completely and even had to get police involved as she would show up outside my house screaming that she felt so sorry for me because I was so unhappy with my life. I was actually ok with life at that time but her words burned a hole in me and I started over evaluating everything to see why she would think that. My dad divorced my mom when I was a teen and remarried right away and gave his new wife's jailbird addicted children everything and always made some excuse as to why I wasn't good enough. Having family backgrounds like ours can really take a toll on our self esteem. I am trying so hard to break out of the stigma and not let them define who I am. We can do this together. Whoever said blood is thicker than water obviously was not part of a dysfunctional family.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,920
A ******* MEN!
Divorced when I was 5.
Alki/abusive mom lived with my dad, slept on couch, police threw her out all the time, went to jail.
Cut her out years ago, still miss her and cry at her old hs yearbooks I have.
I have no family except my dad, a major source of anxiety for me.
Divorced when I was 5.
Alki/abusive mom lived with my dad, slept on couch, police threw her out all the time, went to jail.
Cut her out years ago, still miss her and cry at her old hs yearbooks I have.
I have no family except my dad, a major source of anxiety for me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,190
I've only one thing to say....
Love yourself. Be kind to yourself and look after yourself. Allow yourself to let go of the pain caused by these people. These family members if it helps just look at them as people in the street, they have issues that have allowed them to justify the way they behaved. Their human too and made mistakes. Maybe at your cost but let them go. Just take whatever positivity you can even if its simply that you won't be like them - take what you need and leave the rest. It's not helping you. It's burdening you to carry it all about with you.
Love yourself. Be kind to yourself and look after yourself. Allow yourself to let go of the pain caused by these people. These family members if it helps just look at them as people in the street, they have issues that have allowed them to justify the way they behaved. Their human too and made mistakes. Maybe at your cost but let them go. Just take whatever positivity you can even if its simply that you won't be like them - take what you need and leave the rest. It's not helping you. It's burdening you to carry it all about with you.
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Originally Posted by Acheleus
A ******* MEN!
Divorced when I was 5.
Alki/abusive mom lived with my dad, slept on couch, police threw her out all the time, went to jail.
Cut her out years ago, still miss her and cry at her old hs yearbooks I have.
I have no family except my dad, a major source of anxiety for me.
Divorced when I was 5.
Alki/abusive mom lived with my dad, slept on couch, police threw her out all the time, went to jail.
Cut her out years ago, still miss her and cry at her old hs yearbooks I have.
I have no family except my dad, a major source of anxiety for me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Berlin, MD
Posts: 78
I'm ticked right now cuz someone tried to make me feel bad about myself. I was feeling good so far and now I'm angry and it's driving me crazy right now that I want a drink. I'm wondering if non-alcoholic beer is a bad idea?
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