Flying4Life

I am on Day 16 and I am feeling emotional. I keep unintentionally reminiscing about my ex and it's totally over now and that hurts. I feel sad that part of my life is over even though it wasn't particularly good. I am sad that I can't talk to him anymore or spend time with his family. He would be glad that I have stopped drinking but I will probably never see him again. He has a new woman in his life and I am alone.

I am sorry if this is a pity party. I think I am still grieving things a bit... I have always had trouble letting go. I thought it would be better to share these negative feelings than to try and numb them with alcohol which has been my habit in the past. I want to move thru this pain instead of pushing it deeper inside of me.

Thanks for listening,
Dena

AugustWest11

Congrats on day 16; and I so feel your pain I have been dealing w\ 29 years worth on and off of my sober\relapse\sober\relapse Roller Coaster .. and Now I like you believe I just have to push through them .. I commend you on that decision .. Stay Strong ..

AW

AlefVavResh

Keep coming back. I'm on Day 28 and my emotions were all over the place. (Well, still are if I'm honest). I'm sorry you're having a bad day, but you can get through it. And there will be wonderful things in your future if you stay sober and bring positive people into your life.

least

It's ok to be sad, to grieve for what is no more. Just don't live in the past. Be sad, then move on. Life is always changing and we have to change with it. You can get thru this I know.

Twofish

Hi Flying and welcome to SR and congratulations on day 16!!! I'm so sorry you are having such emotional pain, love hurts, it stings and it wounds (remember that song?). No pity party here, only support and caring. Gentle hugs to you and your fragile heart! Keep posting! TF

Zazzzzz

Same thing happened to me yesterday. Nostalgia for my ex, the places we went, things we did. We've been over for awhile and I've been fine with it. Of course, my emotions had been dulled by drinking through till recently. I think everything is just trying to find equilibrium now.

hayley86

Congrats on 16 days!. Its good that you are posting here and sharing your feelings. I hope tomorrow is better for you.

Flying4Life

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! I am just learning to accept that my feelings are okay. I want to be sober everyday and I don't know if I could stick with it without all of you wonderful people in my corner.

EndGameNYC

Yes. When it comes to grieving a significant loss, and all the associated feelings, the only way out is to go all the way in.

The loss of a loved one compounds the difficulties in getting sober. People who don't drink often go through a protracted period of mourning that affects virtually every aspect of their functioning.

Grieving is very subjective. Many people postpone the process (postponing then becoming part of their process), unable as they are to take in the loss all at once.

The best we can do is to allow ourselves to fell all the feelings, and be as gentle with ourselves as we would be with a grieving friend or loved one.

lommey

flying im in the same boat as you .I told my t total h that I needed help 2 weeks ago and he said I had worn him out over the last 6 years and he could do no more .he was glad I was trying to get sober but needed to look after himself. our house is now for sale he dosent come home till late at nite and goes straight to bed. My emotions are all over the place but I know deep down I have to let him walk away and hope maybe in the future we can be friends . we have been together 21 years. Im living on the hope that being sober fufills all the promises that the folk in aa have told it will

lommey

by the way we have to get sober for us not for anyone else

Flying4Life

Wow, that was just the beginning of my day! I took a nap and dreamed about my Mom... woke up wishing she was still here, and crying like a little girl.

Then this evening my Dad basically told me that he doesn't have time for me and I am not as important to him as his new "girlfriends". Which felt like a knife to the heart.

But I am not drinking. I am hanging out here, taking care of a few school related tasks, painting my nails, eating a bit of chocolate, drinking a fruit smoothie. I am staying sober no matter what it takes, and today this sh!t is getting hard.

Yankee73

Flying, your post really spoke to me. I am sober 4.5 months and it feels like every feeling I squashed for 18 years has shown up at once. It is not fun. I was crying about a former "happy" memory while eating pizza last night. Why? Because my life looks so much different now and not in a good way. The way I have begun to handle it is every time a new feeling/emotion/ memory comes up, I say to myself, "how interesting" and just feel it. I don't wallow in it and I stopped making myself feel bad about it. Pushing it away and stomping on it will only make things worse. It would make me drink.