After rehab and living arrangements
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: TX
Posts: 731
After rehab and living arrangements
Hello all:
My son has completed rehab about 2 weeks ago. He was using synthetic marijuana for about 3 years. He went from bad to worse. His father and I disconnected from him prior to rehab and he checked himself into rehab.
I made it clear that he would not live with me after rehab. I have been struggling with his younger sister regarding the same drug. I kicked her out of the house a few weeks ago.
He is living with a friend and appears to be sober. He has no money, no car, and no job (in the process of applying). Of course, these issues have been due to his using.
Here's my struggle. He is sober and I struggle with how much to support. I am not giving money. However, I did take him to apply for jobs and buy some groceries.
I want to make sure that I am in no way enabling.
What is your take regarding adult children living at home? I know, for me it hasn't worked out well. However, both of my kids have S.A. issues.
If they aren't living at home and are sober...how much assistance do you give?
My son has completed rehab about 2 weeks ago. He was using synthetic marijuana for about 3 years. He went from bad to worse. His father and I disconnected from him prior to rehab and he checked himself into rehab.
I made it clear that he would not live with me after rehab. I have been struggling with his younger sister regarding the same drug. I kicked her out of the house a few weeks ago.
He is living with a friend and appears to be sober. He has no money, no car, and no job (in the process of applying). Of course, these issues have been due to his using.
Here's my struggle. He is sober and I struggle with how much to support. I am not giving money. However, I did take him to apply for jobs and buy some groceries.
I want to make sure that I am in no way enabling.
What is your take regarding adult children living at home? I know, for me it hasn't worked out well. However, both of my kids have S.A. issues.
If they aren't living at home and are sober...how much assistance do you give?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 324
You give as much assistance as you're comfortable with.
We helped our son with groceries for a couple months when he first got clean and was in the Sober Living Environment.
It if goes on too long and he hasn't gotten anything going, and you become unsure of whether he's clean or not, that's when it starts to become enabling IMO.
There's also the hardcore " I will not do anything for another adult that they can do for themselves" boundary.
Since you already seem to have some strong boundaries in place, and are not oblivious to the concept of enabling, just go with what feels right to you.
We helped our son with groceries for a couple months when he first got clean and was in the Sober Living Environment.
It if goes on too long and he hasn't gotten anything going, and you become unsure of whether he's clean or not, that's when it starts to become enabling IMO.
There's also the hardcore " I will not do anything for another adult that they can do for themselves" boundary.
Since you already seem to have some strong boundaries in place, and are not oblivious to the concept of enabling, just go with what feels right to you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
