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Day 4!

Old 09-16-2013, 06:22 AM
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Day 4!

Hello,

I am feeling a little lost on here but feel I need some further support from people who have or are going through the same situation.

I have for as long as I can remember now 'de-stressed' every evening with a bottle of wine. It is time for a change, I no longer want to jeopardise my relationship with my husband or my daughter.

As pathetic as it sounds I am on day 4 with no alcohol and already I am struggling! I have very little support at home as I think my husband thinks I am making a big deal out of it & doesn't realise how hard I am finding it.

Please tell me it gets easier?!!
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Old 09-16-2013, 06:30 AM
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Not pathetic at all! Many people here have been through exactly what you are going through. That's what makes this place so helpful.

All the very best! The first four days are the worst for many people!
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Old 09-16-2013, 06:55 AM
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Hi there andsolifebegins. You're not alone - I've been drinking a bottle of wine pretty much every for a good couple of years now. Before that I would drink two or three glasses but as we all realise (now) the ability to drink more and more soon increases.

Day 4 is awesome, well done on that. I really mean it - if you read through other threads you'll realise just how many folks have a drink on day 4 or 5. And it is hard when other people don't get how big a deal this is for us. The people I've spoken to in real life about this have all said, "Don't be daft, you don't drink that much!" They're not aware of much I've been drinking, but they certainly drink just as much as I used to at weekends and I think that my acknowledgement of a problem makes them uneasy about their own consumption?

Anyway. We're all here, all working our way through our issues and addictions and all reading and posting. So you're in good company xx
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Old 09-16-2013, 07:06 AM
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Welcome andso! Many of us have these struggles, especially in the early days. You're doing great!
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Old 09-16-2013, 07:10 AM
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Welcome and congratulations!! It is indeed frustrating when loved ones don't understand the struggle. I would tell my wife about my problems with alcohol and tell her I planned to quit. She would agree but then later that day when I started to get irritable, she would suggest I get some beer!! Ack!! Geez, no! It's hard enough when I am fighting my own brain.

Day 4 is awesome and it is my understanding that is when the last of the alcohol has left the system. I am only on day 7, so I cannot speak on the easier part...yet, but that is what I have heard.
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Old 09-16-2013, 10:57 AM
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Thank you all so much for your supportive messages. I really appreciate it especially as it is getting to that dreaded time again!

I guess I will just have another night of eating everything in sight!

Any ideas when sleeping will become easier? And also are there anymore nasty surprises or am I at the worst of it?

Thank you all once again x
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Old 09-16-2013, 11:57 AM
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Hi,

Good for you on 4 days!

Just went through the 1st week myself.

Like you, I could not sleep and went to my Doctor for help on that.

It's withdrawl, not a fine feeling at all. Everyone has it a little different.

For me it's a reminder that I never want to go through it again.

Every day is a victory, no matter how bad it was, how bad you felt, how much you ate.

I hope it's gets easier for you, but when not SR is here.

Keep it up and good luck with this, sincerely.

Consider joining the Class of September 2013, most everyone there is under 30 days.
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Old 09-16-2013, 11:58 AM
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Dear andsolifebegins, welcome. It sounds like you are doing great for day 4. It does get better. Keep going. We are here for you. I exercised like a maniac the first few weeks. The sweat is good to get toxins out. And drink lots of water. Quitting is hard. You are doing great. (:
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Old 09-16-2013, 03:44 PM
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I am also on day four, and I have been to an AA meeting every day. It may seem excessive, but I could not have made 4 days it without going to the meetings. I am not a daily drinker because I have fought very hard to hide my addiction and "be normal." But I am an addict, and AA meetings and the "Living Sober" book have helped me IMMENSELY in coping with sobriety.
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Old 09-16-2013, 03:47 PM
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Welcome! I think it'll really help you to have us to talk to about your feelings. I didn't have anyone to share my thoughts with until I found SR.

We're glad you are here - and proud of you for wanting to change your life. Congratulations on your 4 days. We know how hard it is in the beginning - but yes, it does get easier - promise.
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Old 09-16-2013, 04:03 PM
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welcome!!

The nightly bottle of wine and I were friends too....only my friend really wasn't my friend.

And my husband doesn't understand why it was a problem and how hard it is to quit.

You'll find many people here at SR in our boat too. So, I'm glad you're here...but I'm sorry for the circumstances that brought you here. It isn't pathetic. It's very common.

And it's really hard to quit, so if you are feeling anxiety that's normal ~ but you can do it. It gets better. I'm at 14 days now and I feel much better!

We'll be in the trenches with you too. It's good to have support.
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Old 09-16-2013, 06:20 PM
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Nothing to be ashamed of

As someone who struggled for a very long time to have a few days of sobriety, I can say that there is nothing to be ashamed of at 4 days sober. As well, my partner doesn't understand the addiction. As far as they are concerned, all one has to do to recover from alcoholism is stop drinking, period as if it was as easy as not eating peanuts !
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Old 09-16-2013, 06:27 PM
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Day 4 was difficult for me as well. It does get easier, the first few days are the hardest. I have the full support of my wife but she also didn't not understand what I was going through. I think the only people who can understand are those who have experienced alcohol addiction. This is why SR have been so helpful for me during the past few weeks. Keep posting and reading others posts, there is lots of strength to draw from on this website.
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Old 09-16-2013, 06:50 PM
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I'm only on day two, so I feel ya. One of my motivations is my son. He's ADHD and has a ton of energy. The days we get out and work out and enjoy nature are the days he is his calmest and goes to bed at a decent time. I used to take him to the park and say, "go play with your sister" but now I get up and get active with him. It's only been two days I know, but when I've started thinking about alcohol I just get outside or move with my kids and feel better. I also started using therapeutic grade essential oils to help with anxiety, insomnia and cravings and they are already helping a lot!!
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Old 09-17-2013, 04:13 AM
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It's great that you are stopping now. That one bottle can turn quickly into two bottles in one sitting. It did for me.

Good luck to you
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Old 09-17-2013, 04:27 AM
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I'm a day behind you so cant give any advice but feeling lots of empathy. My partner still drinks, my 22 year old son has told me I'm paranoid and that it's antisocial to not drink!! We have to do this for ourselves and this forum is amazing support.
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Old 09-17-2013, 09:41 AM
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There's nothing pathetic about struggling on day four. The alcoholic part of your mind is hurting and knows that first drink is an easy, temporary fix. But that same alcoholic part of your mind is conveniently glamorizing that first drink while ignoring all the bad that comes with drink three and five and six and eight, etc.

It does get easier with time. I'm living proof of this. I was a daily hard drinker for fourteen years. Have sixty days sober now and haven't had a craving of any kind for almost two months. My life is improving and my mind is getting clearer in little ways each and every day.
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Old 09-17-2013, 09:47 AM
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Originally Posted by andsolifebegins View Post
Hello,

I am feeling a little lost on here but feel I need some further support from people who have or are going through the same situation.

I have for as long as I can remember now 'de-stressed' every evening with a bottle of wine. It is time for a change, I no longer want to jeopardise my relationship with my husband or my daughter.

As pathetic as it sounds I am on day 4 with no alcohol and already I am struggling! I have very little support at home as I think my husband thinks I am making a big deal out of it & doesn't realise how hard I am finding it.

Please tell me it gets easier?!!
Oh, you sound like me. De-stressing, relationship with daughter, etc. And as far as the four days. Not pathetic at all. I was at four days 23 days ago Stick around and read, read, read. And if you feel like drinking post some more. Welcome!
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Old 09-18-2013, 06:25 AM
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Thank you to you all for so much valuable support, I am now day 6 and feeling much better already!

Apart from the constant headache, horrible nights sleep & dreaded evenings, I have found that I have much more patience with my daughter & we read each night & talk (where as before I would've been racing downstairs to open a bottle & settle down for the night!).

Last night was my first decent nights sleep & I am learning to cope with the evenings with early nights & tea & biscuits!!

I really appreciate all your support, advice and stories I no longer feel alone & this has empowered me, Thank you x
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