heropon

Hi, my name is Megan I am 29 and I am currently a student at VCU. I really never thought it would go this far or be this bad. I started drinking pretty heavily from 07 to 09 when I was in the Navy. When I say heavily I mean I was in the Navy and my shipmates couldn't handle my drinking. I went a good 3 years where I didn't drink to often but got extremely drunk when I did. Then in October of last year I had my first panick attack in over 10 years. Talking to people became a horrifying experience and eye contact was impossible. Then I started to drink waay more often, it wasn't long until I realized that my alcoholisem was actually exasperating my anxiety. I couldn't stop though, I would come home humiliated and exhausted and drink until I passed out. My anxiety became so bad I couldn't even look my friends in the eye without a wave of panick and terror sweeping over me. Fastforward a few months and it was summer I was running out of money and couldn't get a job because I would shake untrollably during an interview. Soooo I became homeless... Met some transient people and found a whole knew extreme in alcoholisem. I was hallucinating and couldn't eat. Luckily I have my G.I bill and I am living on that right now. My last drink was two weeks ago. I feel so much better, no panick attacks, no uncontrollable shaking! But I have reliad on alcohol as a social tool that I feel lost without it. So I came to this sight looking for support.

Dee74

Welcome to SR Megan - I know you'll find support here.
Congrats on your 2 weeks.

I'm glad things have improved from what they were - have no fear that they'll get even better too - I'm not as gregarious as I used to be either but I'm the real me - and my real friends accept and love that

D

Impurrfect

Megan - Welcome to SR and congratulations on your two weeks!!!

I relied on one thing or another (food, alcohol, opiates, crack) to feel "normal" and all it did was numb me.

Recovery hasn't been a piece of cake - dealing with the normal ups and downs of life with nothing to numb me was hard. However, I HAVE done it. I've survived two armed robberies at work, numerous family members dying, unemployment and a whole lot of consequences from my using days.

It wasn't easy, but everyone at SR has been a huge help. I also found that most of my family was more than willing to support me in sobriety.

You can do this. You deserve this. Life isn't easy, even for people who have never used or drank. On the other hand, we don't really appreciate the GOOD in life if we're numbed up. Just when I think I've had enough, I'm going to lose it...something good happens to remind me how precious life is.

Keep reading and posting - you're among people who understand and we're with you!!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy