ShaneM1

It's been five months and I have gained thirty pounds. I feel like a new person.
This is the most I have ever weighed and I can hike and run farther than I ever. My family still has boundaries up as if I am still using, and I understand and I am slowly gaining their trust back. I got a job as a framer and I start on Monday. I am excited and a little worried about having money. I feel like pride is my biggest adversary right now. I have been searching for the line of overconfidence and confident but every time I think I have an understanding it gets blown out of the water. I don't want to set myself up to fail by being overconfident. I don't want to pity myself and start a cycle of self-loathing because I do not find value in myself.

Nuudawn

Aw..congrats on 5 months Shane! You know I'm not sure confidence is the word or state I now strive for. It's more like...acceptance of myself..acceptance that I have a right to be here like everyone else and that my value has more to do with my connections and contributions in this world rather than what I achieve or possess. That is not to say I don't have goals or ambitions but what I value has changed dramatically. I no longer kick myself so much for not having as much as my peers at this age. I'm starting to realize that I am working on something much more..of more substance and worthy weight in this world : )

least

Congrats on five months!