Mish

Almost got through Day 6 and then stupidly has two BIG glasses (funny how i chose a huge pint glass so i could say i only had two glasses!!)of wine last night.
My husband doesn't even know yet, he was so tired after work yesterday that he didn't even notice...I will have to tell him when he gets home from work.
Woke up with a huge headache and nausea....i won't be doing that again. I have to use this as a learning curve in my recovery. i did it. It was stupid but im not going to beat myself up over it... i am getting a valuable insight into how it feels to be hungover vs how i have felt to be sober and alive. It has reminded me of all the reasons I don't want alcohol in my life anymore. I now have a great opportunity to work out what triggered me to drink and what I could have done differently to ensure it doesn't happen again.
That being said if I has the chance to erase last night I would...valuable lesson or not I would have preferred to be heading into day 7 instead of day 1. I would never ever say I was glad to relapse so I could learn a lesson.
So back to Day 1 again for me....stay strong strong everyone alcohol is not worth throwing our lives away for. Congratulations to everyone who is still sober and for those who are not find the reason why you relapsed and put plans in place to prevent the same happening again.

Anna

The important thing is to learn and avoid that pitfall next time. Plan ahead and hopefully you can continue your sober days. It's normal to be upset with yourself, but don't let it push into the cycle of going back to drink again. I did that many times...sigh.

silentrun

Next time come here before you drink. I had a slip 3 months in and I felt one coming on last night. Posting about it is like hitting the release valve. All of a sudden it doesn't seem like a great idea.

least

Yes, posting when you have the desire to drink kind of takes the wind out of your sails and lessens the urge to drink, at least it did for me.


I hope this can be your last day one.

Mish

Just told my husband. He is disappointed which is totally justified. This sux :-(

happyhour

yea, it does.

but, so healthy to not have secrets, they make you sick.

good job.

Fishy

I was so close to having a drink the other day and instead i came on here and made a thread about how i was feeling. Nobody except me would have known if i did drink, but this way, i felt i was accountable for my actions if i did choose to slip and drink.

LillianGish

Mish, hang in there. Sorry the reset button got pushed on the day count.

And coming here...yeah...has saved me from hitting that same button more than a few times.

Wine is the devil himself I'm afraid....for me too. :-(

longbeachone

Your attitude is Good...better than if you were talking about how terrible you are for relapsing. Learn from it and move forward.

Nuudawn

First off...oh my gosh but I love your avatar. And how true. Oddly enough, it reminded my of an early AA meeting in my sobriety efforts of 2006. I felt like I had an epiphany sitting in that room.. "OH we are all messed up!!". I remember feeling relief. And I knew I wasn't just thinking about the people in the room..I knew I was thinking all of us. No one has it all figured out and we all make mistakes all the time.

And well, you made a choice last night you wish you hadn't. Today is a new day. I just work really, really hard at keeping my commitment to being sober "right now". I do my very, very best to keep my thoughts to the present and facing the situations as they arrive when they arrive..in my now.

Kaneda8888

As my sponsor keeps telling me and it has s-l-o-w-l-y sunk into my very thick head, don't go down that path of guilt, shame, anger, self loathing or any negative feelings that are directed at yourself ! That only lowers your self esteem and makes you vulnerable. That will eventually lead you back to the bottle. It's a vicious spiral (apologies if I am telling you something obvious) You're an alcoholic who had a drink. Not exactly headline news observe and learn from your past bust. Then simply try to do better next time.

Remember the good as well, you had 6 days alcohol free vs. 1 bust. If you keep trending that way, then you will eventually succeed ! Keep faith in yourself and never give up.