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New and need help badly...

Old 09-14-2013, 01:19 PM
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New and need help badly...

This is the first site I found. I just want to talk to people who know what I'm going through.

I'm only 23, but I have a massive appetite for alcohol. My doctor has already told me that my liver is showing signs of serious damage. I'm an alcoholic. I need help so badly.

I have severe anxiety. I was diagnosed even before my drinking became an issue. I've been prescribed many antidepressants and xanax. So for the last couple of years I have been using the pills as a crutch. I'm out now and I'm scared. Last time I tried to sober up, I had a panic attack that brought my heart rate and blood pressure to heart attack levels. Which is a constant scaring reminder to a hypochondriac.

Please. I'm just looking for support. My head feels fuzzy. I have blurred vision. Basically I'm just scared. Please, honestly, tell me it will be okay. I know your not supposed to give medical advice so please just give me personal advice. This is hell and I want to get better.
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Old 09-14-2013, 01:24 PM
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Grizzlee, go to your doctor! They can give you something to help your detox symptoms. Detox is not to be played with. Can be very dangerous. Go to the doctor!!
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Old 09-14-2013, 01:25 PM
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Hi and Welcome,

We do understand how hard this is, and we're here for you.

Have you talked with your dr about stopping your medications? I know that I take antidepressants and I'm not supposed to stop them suddenly. Please be careful. It sounds like you're ready to make some big changes in your life and know for sure, that you will be able to stop drinking and live a happy and healthy life.
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Old 09-14-2013, 01:26 PM
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Grizzlee...blurred vision is very serious. Please do not fool around with this, I speak from experience.
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Old 09-14-2013, 01:37 PM
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Welcome Grizzlee. I found alcohol so attractive in the beginning because it relieved, temporarily, the anxiety I am prone to. Hell I found it so attractive I let it half kill me!

On a slightly more serious note, (though that was actually serious) - booze does temporarily relieve anxiety. However it also has the effect of increasing anxiety levels as you become more dependent on it. That in turn can result in increasing the amount you drink in order to reduce the anxiety caused in the first place by too much consumption. And so starts the vicious circle that some of us get into.

At three weeks sober my anxiety levels have already dropped very considerably indeed. It works!
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Old 09-14-2013, 01:39 PM
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I'm 26 and goimg through the same right now. I too had anxiety well before alcohol and alcohol makes it worse. The other day I was 156/90 pulse of 156-164. So im there with you just try and better yourself and your health.
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Old 09-14-2013, 01:40 PM
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Welcome, You will find lots of support here. I was in a terrible state this time last year through drinking and i did not see any way out of it. By getting a recovery plan together, having my doctors support, using SR and changing old habits i am now over 11 months sober. Any anxiety i did have before has gone now that i am sober. I would speak to your doctor before detoxing it can be very dangerous. Wishing you well.
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Old 09-14-2013, 01:42 PM
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Of you're scared I highly suggest going to the ER. This can be very dangerous, so it's really best to at least be monitored by professionals. Hang in there, we're all here for you <3
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Old 09-14-2013, 02:42 PM
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We're happy to meet you Grizzlee. You'll find this a helpful & supportive place.

At 23 I was too stubborn to reach out for help and admit I had a problem. I kept playing with it until I almost lost my life. I was completely dependent on it when I finally found the courage to stop. It's good you're seeing where drinking is taking you - glad you want to do something about it. We're here to help.
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Old 09-14-2013, 02:46 PM
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griz, you should have a friend drive you to the doctor, even a walk-in, tell them the truth when you get there. check in when you get back.
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Old 09-14-2013, 02:50 PM
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Welcome Grizlee.
Any time your physical health may be at risk from withdrawing, it is best to consider a medically supervised withdrawal.
For you, I would really encourage this, considering you are having liver problems. With symptoms that come along with severe anxiety and panic attacks, it may be hard for you or someone else who is not medically trained, to assess if you are in a true medical crisis.
Blurred vision can be from a panic attack or a medical emergency. You need someone who can assess your vital signs and make that call. Being in a controlled and professional environment may also help lessen your anxiety, knowing if something happens there is someone there to help.
Please consider a detox centre. They can also put you in touch with the proper tools for continued success. The wonderful supports of SR will be here, but you need to look after your physical wellness first.
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Old 09-14-2013, 05:26 PM
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How are you doing Grizz? Been thinking about you as I can relate to what you are going through. It does get better with time. Glad you found this site
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Old 09-14-2013, 05:29 PM
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Hi there. My son is 22 and a recovering alcoholic. He suffered from anxiety and panic before his addiction and used alcohol in addition to his medication to self medicate. He finally suffered such a massive anxiety attack after a bender that he called 911. They took him to the hospital and gave him IV meds to help while detoxing. His blood pressure was sky high and it was scary. His Dr. gave him meds to help with withdrawals and he went to AA for help with sobriety. Hi anxiety has gotten so much better now that he's 10 months sober and he can finally sleep at night. Please go the the ER and tell them what's going on. You need to get medical help to stay safe through this. It WILL get better but you have to get help. It's out there. Go for it. Please.
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Old 09-14-2013, 06:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Grizzlee View Post
This is the first site I found.

I need help so badly.

Please. I'm just looking for support.

Please, honestly, tell me it will be okay.
The first two made sense but the second two seemed to wander. Is it help, help only in the form of support or just a pat on the back saying everything's going to be ok that you're looking for?

If it's help, that I can provide. If it's support, then that'll be contingent upon your actions. I think you'll find lots of support of healthy life choices but, I hope, not much support for bad practices.

And like the support above, whether it's going to be ok is also contingent upon your actions. I've seen recovery alive and well in the worst low-bottom cases. I've also seen alcoholism alive and well in high-bottom "functioning" alkies - yours truly was one of them for quite a while.

Taking actions that are in line with recovery will pay benefits - good benefits. Taking action, or the lack of action, that's in line with feeding your alcoholism will pay benefits too - only they don't feel quite so good.
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Old 09-16-2013, 10:04 PM
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Thank you all so much for showing concern. I'm currently at home. Guess I'm doing fine. Last time this happened, my mother (an RN), told me to just stick it out. Needless to say she's pretty fed up with my selfish actions. I can't really tell her this time though. I'm trying to hide this. I'm at that point where she realized I needed an ultimatum. So if I tell her, I'm homeless. I'm considering the E.R. tonight, but I have been there many times. I'm just not sure if I can afford another visit. I love you all, thanks for responding. I hope one day I can help others, because I know how it feels to be helpless.
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Old 09-16-2013, 10:14 PM
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grizz, do you really want to stop? if so, you need to just come out and not worry about the fallout, it pales in comparison to damage you'll cause by drinking for years to come.
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Old 09-16-2013, 10:20 PM
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I absolutely do want to stop. I've lost my job a year a ago. Lost all my friends. Now on this last bender I stand to lose the only other two people in my life. My mother and my girlfriend. I tried AA, but honestly it doesn't seem like my thing. I'm just really confused. I don't know where I should go for help.

happyhour, I know you're so right...
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Old 09-16-2013, 10:34 PM
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just go face it. our lives turn into absolute shambles drinking, i don't know one happy person who abuses drugs/alcohol, you have so much time to redeem yourself. just go tell them, and take the steps necessary to stay sober. you can't do this on your own, if anyone says you can they don't know. you need others for support, encouragement and sometimes to kick your as*. i respect people and i have an interest in people who say, "i messed up, but i didn't wan't to stay that way" that's called CHARACTER. people are attracted to character over success, money, charm, wit and all that other BS.

you can do this.
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Old 09-16-2013, 10:53 PM
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i don't know where you live, but your mom will have access to care, and potentially detox facilities. she loves you, she is just frustrated, scared and maybe a little pissed.

i too struggle with anxiety, and it had gotten really bad, it was absolutely connected to my drinking. the more i drank, the worse it got, where i couldn't even look a person in the eyes for fear & panic. drinking will not, will not improve this condition.
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Old 09-16-2013, 11:01 PM
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Grizz, its late but I know some very smart folks here at SR will be along to offer really good advice soon. I'm new too so I won't be much help.

I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone tonight and I care. Things can get better if you can find it deep within you to finally say adios to alcohol. There's help you can get. And if you accept it and get strong...you can be free of all this misery.

...and if you are sick, please get medical help right away.
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