13unluckyforsom

My other half has invited his brother to watch sports and their going to be drinking. That's four weeks he's sat in my face drinking! He was off work for ten days after my first week sober and drank every night. I let it go. I'm a bit annoyed and to be honest I sort of want to be able to turn round tomorrow if he dares to open his mouth and say to him 'well what do you expect'

Before I stopped drinking he put me under so much pressure said how worried etc he was and to be fair I was too. He spouted all this crap about we are in this together and there's no need for us to drink to have fun and if you stop ill stop and there will be no drink in the house and we will do other fun stuff etc etc etc

ScottFromWI

So you want to spite him by throwing away all the work you have done? Getting sober has to be done for you, by you. It's pretty insensitive of him to be sure, but this is all about you. And you know better, right?

ImperfectlyMe

No your not!!!!!!

hypochondriac

It's your house too. Can you have a little drink free safe haven at home, a room that has to be alcohol free... It is amazing how people underestimate how tough this is. A lot of non alcoholics think that if you put the drink down then problem solved. I think you should at least tell him how you feel, he may not realise. Please stick around here tonight and stay sober x

lastcallsunday

So you've decided you're going to give up all the time you've accumulated to "show him"?
I'd suggest lead by example instead and show him how much fun you're having sticking to your plan.
Seems healthier in my humble opinion.

13unluckyforsom

I know - I probably won't - I asked him to get me something when he went out but that will more than likely be enough. I think I was testing him too - like he just gave in after saying no once lol

lessgravity

An excuse is an excuse is an excuse.

james872

So you're doing this to get back at him? Bitterness? Revenge? Does that seem like a good idea now that you read this and think about it?

Instead be the truly better person and just don't care. You don't drink. He does his thing. F-it.

This will happen. People are full of BS sometimes. If you give in to it, especially for the reasons you have, you're the weaker person. You're allowing an outside influence determine that you will fail. Does that sound like the attitude of a winner?

As I said F-it. Just don't drink and screw people who are full of BS. That's how you succeed. And your success will make you feel the best in the long run. Because you succeeded where others failed.

This should be a piece of cake.

phoebe64

You have been posting so confidently about how great you are doing with AVRT. So use it! Tell your beast to shut up! Beat it down. And tell your other half to keep his promise. I wish mine would even say he would stop, so I could try to hold him to it. Not gonna happen. I do know how hard it is. I see 7 beers chilling in the fridge in the basement right now.

Good thing we don't drink anymore, right, lucky? You can do it.

mecanix

13 ,
Think the drink through ... Where will it get you tommorow ? starting all over again with a worse head and the worry that now you've given in to it once that maybe you can't get and maintain sobriety again .
I had years of 5 days a week giving up and giving in on fridays or after 14 days or whatever , blooming madness it was, a hopeless drunk ..

Remember, you gave up drinking a month ago , the reasons you had then hold true as much today as they did then .

Bestwishes, m

ReadyAtLast

All relapses stem from resentments-anger,hate,envy, bitterness but all resentments. Let it go,tell your partner you are not happy. Do something else-go out, have a bath

Drinking solves nothing. It won't hurt him -it will only hurt you. Trustme, you'll feel sobad in themorning if you drink. If you stay sober you will be so pleased and dam proud of yourself in the morning nothing will make you feel bad.

deeker

Who are you doing this for? You or your brother. Is the drinking gonna hurt him or you? Who's gonna wake up with the shame , guilt and remorse.

Doesn't sound like you are ready to stop friend. You have to want to do this for yourself, regardless of what he does. there will always alcohol surrounding us.
If you don't want to be around it then leave and go somewhere. A AA meeting. If you want to avoid the temptation you will have to be proactive in your own recovery and avoid drinking situations at all costs. Even if he comes over , watch sports in another room.. There is more than 1 room in a house. Tell your wife no more company who drinks. You have to set your boundaries quick!

13unluckyforsom

I know. I've left it in the car anyway. Your all right it's only cutting off my nose to spite my face! It's only going to hurt me and I've too much in my mind anyway - if I drink it will be a mess. Quite a significant one probably so it's not wise.

Funny how he's all supportive until it boils down to it! I knew this anyway - never has ever supported me in anything. Arse lol donkeys arse lol

Oldselfagain

13 stay strong!!!

Renarde

So what are you going to do tonight INSTEAD of drinking? Make plans, even if it involves reading magazines in bed, or sleeping.

hypochondriac

Hang on... so he actually bought you booze?? Okay so maybe you shouldn't have asked him to buy it and I am not going to blame him if you drink it, but that isn't very supportive.

Unfortunately you can't make him be supportive. Either he joins you in sobriety, or he doesn't and you find a way to cope with his drinking, or you leave him... All are viable options. Drinking isn't though. Stay strong and don't test yourself or anybody else... x

alphaomega

I get a kick out if how I used to spite my husband by systematically poisoning myself.

Ill show him ! Ill get good and sauced and throw away all my hard work over the last month, give myself chances of a stroke, seizure. That will get him !

Come on buddy - dont give up what you have busted your ass for.

You deserve better.

Sobersunshine

13, he's being selfish and insensitive and unsupportive. IMHO. He could at least not drink around you for your early sobriety. I don't think that's too much to ask. If I were in the UK (I LOVE the UK) we could sit down and have a coffee and I could tell you all about my unsupportive exbf (well, he tried... He just didn't understand, we're still friends) and we could have a proper b**** session.

From his point of view, maybe he just doesnt really understand how difficult this is for you. I don't know.

I live alone, so when I quit, it was easy for me -- not to quit -- but to at least get rid of all the alcohol in the house and avoid all drinking situations whenever I needed to, which was most of the time. I still avoid drinking situations most of the time.

Of course you know drinking to spite him is silly. You are strong enough not to drink tonight. Stay on SR with us in another room eith a nice cup of tea. You'll be so proud of yourself tomorrow morning!

enembe

That happened to me last night. My boyfriend was supposed to be quitting and sat here drinking in front of me and I was so angry, but didn't drink. It was so hard. I'm not the only one with the problem, and he's the angry drunk... He continued to try all night to get more and more alcohol, and by that time I was glad it was him and not me. But I've been having cravings since it happened, too.

Anna

My suggestion is to take the focus off him completely. It's taking too much energy for you to focus on him. Just think about what you need and how you can best manage. If he is drinking in the house, can you go to another part of the house? Can you go to your room and read or call a friend or go out for a walk? Try to not let his drinking affect you.