Toomutch

Our state has been devastated by floods over the last few days and this morning I found out the University my kids attend has been closed. They are about an 1 1/2 hours away from me and the major interstate that connects us has been washed out in an area along the way. They are fine, it is just hard knowing that I cannot help if they should need me for any reason.

The weather reports are saying that things are only going to get worse in their college town over the next few hours and there is absolutely nothing I can do, It's in God's hands.

I am one of those mothers that worry a lot! I am pacing the floor and chewing my nails and most of all really wanting a drink. There is nothing I can do to help them anyway.

Just knowing that our state has never on record seen such devastation is very disturbing and I am sooo tempted to drink. I will be heading to the grocery store in awhile and I pray that I have the strength to not stop at the liquor store. How do I cope with this?

ScottFromWI

Think about it logically for a second Toomuch. It's natural to worry about our children, we all know that. If you drink, you'll be much less capable of helping if necessary. If anything, drinking will make it worse as you won't be able to drive legally if you needed to go get them. Your mental capacity will be diminished as you'll be drunk, and you will only be postponing the problems temporarily by drinking. Plus you'll regret it and feel even worse after you sober up again.

So basically you'll be undermining all that is good about being a responsible parent by drinking - which is what you are trying to do in the first place. Think about it - if you had a fire burning in your kitchen, would you pour gasoline on it to try and extinguish it?

Nattythreads

First step is to realize that having a drink isn't exactly going to help the kids in any way is it? It isn't so that would be you just being selfish.

Second step is to stop pacing and examine what you do know. They're fine. And if they're anything like normal kids they'll be remarkably resilient and unfussed by a bit of flooding. So you don't need to stress yourself or them by being stressed)

And the third step? Go take your mind off it by doing something/anything no matter how prosaic while having a good talk with yourself about keeping things in proportion.

And finally don't forget to give yourself a big cuddle because you deserve it for being a caring person.

Here endeth the Threads foolproof way of coping with life's slings and arrows

lorelei

hey toomuch
you know if you drink all that anxiety and stress will be heightened and if your kids need to call, they dont want to hear you drunk, try so hard not to give in, they need you to be strong x

Toomutch

Thank you Scott for the good advice. Problem is I can't get to them if they needed me and it's driving me crazy... I just wish they were home. I am tempted to drink to take away the fear I am feeling.

FourTwentyOne

Do you like to sing? I find that singing a good power song REALLY LOUD helps channel my enxiety into something that helps to make me feel better. Drinking isn't going to make you stop worrying about them, and it will make it so that you aren't on top of your game. They may call you looking for emotional support, they may need you to arrange help for them, even if you can't get there by road, and you are not going to be able to do that drunk.

"Worrying never changed anything"

Toomutch

Yes Lorelei you are absolutely right, my kids are everything to me... But I still don't know if I can trust myself not to drink. I don't know what's wrong with me.

AlefVavResh

I'll just throw this out there. Want to meet me at the meeting location I told you about? Noon today?

Toomutch

I love to sing four... Not so sure others appreciate it however. I will give it a try.

lessgravity

The last thing in the universe you need to do is drink. Suck it up. Stand up for yourself and your kids against the pathetic poison that's calling your name.

I have kids too. Godforbid something does happen - even something silly or inconsequential - you should be there for them, via phone whatever, SOBER.

You need to be strong. You can do anything you want except not drink. Don't drink.

Toomutch

Maybe a cop out alef, but I really don't want to be far from home on these roads today.

Toomutch

Thank you Natty, you are right, kids are very resilient and they will more than likely be fine, but there is still that question in my mind if they will be safe from the storm.

foolsgold66

Booze won't remove your fear. It may well turn it into some frantic irrational action or knock you out so you won't have to deal with it. Does that sound like a good mother to you? Get busy doing something that occupies your mind so you stop obsessing. Other people deal with this type of thing every day without crawling into a bottle.

jaynie04

Hi Toomuch, so sorry to hear about the devastation in your area, it is tragic.

We had violent thunderstorms here in Connecticut last night. My husband had a business dinner so I was home with my daughter. I watched a thought come into my mind....this would be a perfect opportunity to drink. Not long ago I could use any weather shift to drink, after all having fibromyalgia we are super sensitive to shifts in barometric pressure.

I thought back to Hurricane Sandy last year, we were without power for about 10 days. Because we were homebound and I didn't have to be anywhere I used it as an opportunity to drink. Snowstorm, opportunity to drink. Heatwave, excuse to drink.

What I am trying to say is...I get it. A person without a problem most likely would not parallel drinking alcohol to natural disasters. I know you had a very long period of sobriety. Most likely during that time you experienced births and deaths, heat waves and snowstorms, smiles and tears......

I read your post a few weeks ago about falling off the wagon and wanting to moderate. It sounds like you are right back in the thick of it.....alcohol isn't going to make the floods recede. Please do what is best for you, I am sure your children want a healthy mom and they are old enough to understand the seriousness of the issue. Don't let that AV tell you that you need to drink to get through this.....let something good come from this flood.

ScottFromWI

I never noticed before Toomutch, but your answer lies right in your signature line. "To live in the present moment wisely and earnestly" certainly does not include drinking.

It's good that you came here now. If you can't trust yourself not to drink ( even though it's absolutely, positively the WORST thing you could do for yourself and your kids ) then listen to us and trust us that you definitely don't need to drink. Whatever your mind is telling you it's a lie. Nothing will be better if you drink, it will be worse - guaranteed. And the good part of your brain knows it. Listen to that part - and listen to us.

FourTwentyOne

LMAO

That doesn't matter in the least, so long as you are having a good time!

Anna

I'm glad your kids are safe and that's the main thing.

In case they need your help for something, you need to be sober. And, you need to believe that you can be sober and get through something like this.

AlefVavResh

No worries

But the same should apply to the liquor store then. Right? Not worth getting your car stuck in a ditch

I presume they are in Fort Collins or Boulder? I've been saying prayers for our neighbors. Are they staying with friends on high ground away from rivers? And staying off roads. . . They should be safe. The tragic deaths happened when people were caught entirely off guard.

We are lucky in the metro Denver area because of all the flood control projects that were done by the Corps of Engineers in the 60's & 70's.

lorelei

well, you are a poorly lovely lady, but it's much easier not to pick up a drink, than to stop when you've started, so if you can avoid the liquor store, and keep posting here, that will make a huge difference to how you feel about yourself and this worrying situation xx

Toomutch

Jaynie, you are right! With these weather changes my fibro does hurt more which gives my alcoholic mind yet another reason to drink.
I can relate to letting anything and everything including weather become a reason to drink. All of the silly little things that makes my alcoholic mind rationalize that drinking is the thing to do.
I have had 2 long periods of sobriety, I need to get back there, it is just so hard and I don't seem to be as determined this time. I need to get my head into a better frame of mind.