Raider

Lost it again.

kadidee

Raider, what is going on?

Raider

I suck

Raider

I'm drunk. And I suck

kadidee

No, you don't. You're struggling right now. You had 8 days and you can do this. Are you still beating yourself up about your slip are or you drinking right now?

kadidee

Raider, I ALWAYS feel like I suck when I'm drunk. That's what alcohol does. Can you dump the rest?

kadidee

I'm going to send you a pm.

JaylaaKent

It took me four slip ups - one time 3 weeks clean - before I got my head on. Recovery is a process and it will take time. Beating yourself up will only make you feel like "I suck so bad, why bother quitting?" That's your brain trying to trick you into keep on drinking. Have you tried talking to your Dr - or a counselor - or treatment? It was very hard for me to admit I was powerless over alcohol and accept professional and community help. I joined AA, but only go to women's meeting's mostly. Please don't give up. We've all been on the slippery slope of relapse.

LadyBlue0527

You posted here Raider, you WANT this and that's a start! Tomorrow is a new day!

Eleni58

Seriously, Raider--you need to get ALL alcohol out of your house immediately! I don't give two hoots if your husband still drinks and can handle it. For your sake, he needs to stop having alcohol in the house and stop drinking it around you. Secondly, I think you need a solid plan for recovery. You said you didn't go to AA, but have a support group at your church. Have you been in contact with them? Before you ever pick up that first drink, you need to have someone you can call that will talk you through it.

I will pray that God does a divine intervention and gives you the strength to kick this to the curb for good!

foolsgold66

Raider, I'm thinking that you need to get the alcohol out of your house as well, or consider checking yourself in to rehab.

joygirl

So, Raider, you pick yourself back up and try again. You came here, you do want to quit. Therefore, you do not suck. Drinking sucks, because it makes you feel like this.

Nuudawn

Raider..what is happening prior to picking up? Is something triggering you? Is your husband sitting beside you clinking the ice in his glass and you just can't take it anymore so ya go and pour one?

Is rehab an option?

Louise82

Raider, you do not suck. You're an alcoholic and us alcoholics drink, especially if there's alcohol already in the house. I personally could not stop drinking without help. So it's great that you're here on SR because this is a form of help and support. I agree with the others though; it sounds like you also need face-to-face support, like I do. I personally use AA and it's so much better than I thought it would be but like others have said, what about alternatives? The support group at church? Rehab?

phoebe64

How are you this morning Raider? I hope you come back to us today. I miss you.

resolute50

Raider, if it was easy there would be no need for this site.
Hang in there, you'll get back on the straight and narrow path again.

jaynie04

Raider would you consider inpatient rehab? It is a clean 30 day break, it gives you a head start.

Most programs have what is called family week. The family participates, and goes to classes. It helps them understand the seriousness of what we are dealing with.

I am really sorry that your husband is being so selfish. It is hard enough to do this with a supportive spouse.

I know it is expensive and I know it is a PITA, but this is your life!

shakeel

I've been relapsing ever since I first admitted that I had a problem with alcohol and that was well over a decade ago. and I am back with 3 weeks sober again, so please don't beat yourself up, when I put myself in the pity pot after a relapse I make it hard on me to bounce back up.

foolsgold66

I agree with this very much. My first time around I went to a rehab for 30 days, it was the boost I needed to get sober away from the rest of the pressures of my life. There were aspects of it I didn't like, but overall its something I recommend.

neferkamichael

Raider, rootin for ya.