Acheleus

Did not drink today and I am back on medication. I am going for a walk tonight and getting back in my exercise routine. I feel a little better today because I took a nap. Tonight I may try to clean some and organize some papers. Earlier today I felt sad and inadequate but I am trying to improve myself. My appetite has really picked up too.

Junegirl

I really hope the meds help, Ache. A good appetite sounds like a good thing to me, but that may be the mother in me.

Take care of you,

June

Nuudawn

I really hope you choose to stay the course with the med's Acheleus.

Louise82

Hey Ach, well done for making it to the doctor. Really, really just give the meds a chance this time. Be patient and trust us. Good on you for getting back into an exercise routine too. Like I said in the other thread, exercise is really helping my depression right now.

13unluckyforsom

Well done on making that choice - now you have to stick with it. No. Matter. What. Lol

Your meds are going to take a while to start working - what have you been given? You need to give them a month at the very least if its anti depressants - probably longer. If its an SSRI it's something that needs to build up in your system before you will feel any change. So your going to have to grit your teeth and sit with the uncomfortable feelings till your medicine works. You can do it! You can come and talk to all of us your not alone but you are never going to feel better if you don't stop drinking. For another reason - your meds won't work to their full potential with alcohol present. It mucks everything up.

I have anxiety and depression - the two commonly go hand in hand but alcohol only exaborates them in the long term.

13unluckyforsom

Ps what was making you feel sad and inadequate?

Acheleus

I met with one of my professors and I just felt bad afterwards, like I didn't know what I was talking about.

Being around really smart people all the time can make you feel dumb. But I finally got some good sleep and that helps ALOT!

lorelei

Just because someones smart doesnt mean they're better than you Ach, far from it, hope your meds help soon x

13unluckyforsom

Your awfully hard on yourself ach - are you finding the work hard to learn? Is it too difficult for you? Or are you finding it hard to take criticism in a constructive way? Like if your told your doing something wrong - your professors are only telling you this to help you - it's their job - their not telling you to hurt you or make you feel inadequate - don't take it as a personal attack on yourself - if you were not capable of the work you wouldn't have been allowed on the course. Believe in yourself. You have to! If you don't its going to bring you down time and time again. There's no shame in asking for help if your stuck.

What are you studying?

Acheleus

Masters in English. Most of the bad stuff is in my head. I just think I want to do something besides teach.

lorelei

What else would you like to do? Anything is possible x

13unluckyforsom

How long have you left on your masters?

Do you think maybe your change of heart regarding teachings maybe to do with drinking and your underlying problems?

And if not then its not set in stone that you have to teach - I'm sure there's other things you could progress to after this.

13unluckyforsom

I really need to log off now ach but ill be around later if your wanting to talk. I don't want you to give up! Your too clever to be wasting yourself on alcohol. You CAN do this ok. You have to have faith in yourself. You need to stop drinking so that you can see things in their real light though. Ok?

Acheleus

Ok. Staying sober is my number one priority.

13unluckyforsom

No. Never drinking ever again is your priority - and never changing your mind! Repeat. Rewind. Replay lol

foolsgold66

Hang in there Ach. I personally LIKE being around people smarter than me, it gives me the opportunity to learn and grow. Try looking at it from that perspective.

13unluckyforsom

Totally! Three zillion percent agree! You always have to up your game. Knowledge is power and asking questions is the best way to learn! That's how medical and scientific breakthroughs are made - question everything lol not asking the question or not being able to say 'I don't know' is being stupid.

Acheleus

Yea that makes sense--learning more and never drinking again.

Acheleus

I just want to believe in myself and have self-confidence.

Acheleus

But school makes me realize how much better everyone else is and how much I suck and hate myself.