Tell Me It Gets Better!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: SF Bay Area, CA
Posts: 33,503
Tell Me It Gets Better!
Hi! I'm thankful I found this site. I've been sober for about a month and a half and am really struggling with hyper sensitivity/emotions and I guess a lot of PAWS symptoms. I think making it worse is being sober enough to realize what I have loss. A lot of grief. I'm trying so hard to get a job again. It's so hard not to feel hopeless as I have almost no resources. AND I feel crazy; forgetful, weird thoughts, horrible headaches, insomnia, not thinking straight, crying. God, I am tired of crying! I wonder how I will ever get employed again and get my life even remotely on track. I absolutely don't want to break my sobriety but sometimes I wonder why bother. I feel almost (almost) worse than when I was using. Please, someone, tell me it gets better and I will be able to get some kind of a life back.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
It gets better. It does. I promise. It takes a lot of work and a lot of going through what you are going through right now. The emotions in the beginning are a little crazy for some people. I know they were for me. IT gets better. You can conquer this without a drink and you will be better off for it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,393
Hi welcome Aly, yes it gets better. I had all the PAWS symptoms you describe. You know the alternative with the drinking. Which is progressive and will only get worse. Your body will heal. Keep going honey. Sobriety is the best.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: SF Bay Area, CA
Posts: 33,503
Thank you so much for the great words. I know drinking and using got me here. I guess I have to resign myself to see it through and have faith my life will get better. The panic, grief and agony of realizing what I had and what I lost, especially in the quiet of the wee hours, no wonder I feel insane. Thanks to all of you for being there! It's a lonely and scary place to be sometimes...
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
You don't have to be alone out there anymore 
I have had probably 3 episodes lasting about 7-10 days during my 5 months of sobriety! If there's any silver lining to it. I find after them is when the most personal growth happens, there becomes an almost euphoric feeling and excitement about being sober. Your doing so well and have come so far.
I have had probably 3 episodes lasting about 7-10 days during my 5 months of sobriety! If there's any silver lining to it. I find after them is when the most personal growth happens, there becomes an almost euphoric feeling and excitement about being sober. Your doing so well and have come so far.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
Yes, the wee hours of the night would be the hardest for me, too. I kept thinking of all the messes I'd made and wondered how I could ever forgive myself. It really does get better. Have faith that you will find a job and things will fall into place. Be kind to yourself and keep posting and let us know how you're doing.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 540
It gets better!!! I felt great at first for me when I quit, but I have had bouts of sadness, confusion, anxiety,etc. those feeling pass. Had a glum day just this past weekend, wanted to drink, didn't, am so glad I didn't. Feeling much better today. You will come out on the other side as a stronger, sober person. You are still so new to sobriety that your body and mind are still adjusting to this new reality. Be kind to yourself, rest, drink lots of water, exercise, do whatever makes you feel good, other than drink. And congrats on your sober time!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,443
Hi Alysheba,
Your post sounds exactly the way I was feeling when I first got sober. I was a mess. No job, expensive divorce, insurmountable debt. I had a perpetual headache for months after I stopped. I was sad, lonely, sick, tired, sad, sad, sad.
It does get better. Amazingly better.
One day at a time, baby steps, all that.
Take a deep breath, you can do this.
Your post sounds exactly the way I was feeling when I first got sober. I was a mess. No job, expensive divorce, insurmountable debt. I had a perpetual headache for months after I stopped. I was sad, lonely, sick, tired, sad, sad, sad.
It does get better. Amazingly better.
One day at a time, baby steps, all that.
Take a deep breath, you can do this.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome Aly! I think it'll really help you to be here with us - we all understand you & what you're going through.
I agree that it definitely gets better. It's still early days yet for you - even though 1.5 months is a wonderful accomplishment. We need time to heal from all we've done to ourselves.
I found the guilt and remorse almost led me back to drinking many times. I wanted to quiet those voices inside me and feel numb again - but I knew to go back to square one would be insanity. I wanted to live - and if that meant having to feel the pain for awhile, I'd just have to do it. I held on to the idea that a brighter day was coming - and it did. I still regret some of the things I said and did - but that wasn't the 'real me'. I am growing and learning every day - it feels so good to be free. You will get there Aly.
I agree that it definitely gets better. It's still early days yet for you - even though 1.5 months is a wonderful accomplishment. We need time to heal from all we've done to ourselves.
I found the guilt and remorse almost led me back to drinking many times. I wanted to quiet those voices inside me and feel numb again - but I knew to go back to square one would be insanity. I wanted to live - and if that meant having to feel the pain for awhile, I'd just have to do it. I held on to the idea that a brighter day was coming - and it did. I still regret some of the things I said and did - but that wasn't the 'real me'. I am growing and learning every day - it feels so good to be free. You will get there Aly.
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