tate9685

Here's what happened. I had 53 days sober and this past Saturday I went out with my b/f who I had kicked out of the house because he was not contributing financially and still drinking. Anyway...it was all my fault. He didn't encourage me to drink and he did tell me that I shouldn't because I was doing so well, but he did accept the drinks that I bought him once I got going at the bar. And he accepted the dinner I bought him. I spent a lot on drinks and food for him and me both. Here's the thing...the reason I really drank was because I was not relating to my b/f sober....I was looking at him differently and not interested in being with him...I knew that if I drank I would go back to the old me that found him attractive despite his slow response time, his lack of a job, money or ambition....I just wanted one night of the way things used to be. I noticed his nose was running a lot and he said it was just allergies. I proceeded to get drunk and spend the whole weekend with him. It was not just allergies. By Sunday night he was seriously ill with bronchitis and by Monday, so was I. I have now missed 2 days from work and my boss is not happy with me at all. IF I had just not tried to hang out with the b/f....accepted the fact that Im just not that into him if I am sober, and gone to a meeting instead of drinking....I not only wouldn't have drank, I wouldn't have spend a butt load of money, I wouldn't have been a total ass to complete and innocent strangers at the bar, I wouldn't have spend Sunday with a hangover, I wouldn't have gotten his crappy cold and I wouldn't have missed work these past two days. (WOW) I have to take care of myself FIRST and always remember that. Drinking one night changed all that. It doesn't seem like much...but I could get fired now. Next time, I will remember that it is better to just feel the pain of realizing that my b/f and I are not compatible if I am sober and move on while staying sober. Hope this helps someone realize that sitting in some uncomfortable feelings and realizations for a bit is much better than taking the so called "easy way out......" Now, I am trying to clean up this mess...at home nursing myself to health..and hope I don't get fired.

Anna

Yes, the main thing is to learn from a relapse so it doesn't happen again. You learned a lot this time, especially that you need to put yourself first. I think you also learned that this isn't the guy for you, and that you shouldn't have to drink and put out a bunch of money to feel good with someone.

I'm glad you're back and working on your recovery again. Good for you!

least

Dust yourself off, forgive yourself, and start moving forward again. Learn from your mistakes so you won't repeat them.

13unluckyforsom

It's only a mistake if you don't learn from it you have so it was maybe just something you had to see to believe? Maybe.. I'm a bit like that - things can be so obvious to me - like they were to you - you knew you and the ex were not compatible but you had to have it screaming in your face obvious before you'd actually take it on board. Before you'd learn.

Raider

Good luck Tate. I'm here for ya'!!!

Serenity1972

It sounds like you learned from this experience and that is a positive thing. Now you know what to do next time. You still have your 53 days of sobriety and I am sure you can managed another 53 additional days if you stay focused. I hope all is well with your job and you get to feeling better.