nesst

I am 29 years old. My mother is a 48 year old meth addict. She has pulled out all of her hair, lost all of her teeth, and is in the full throes of meth psychosis. I don't see her regularly because she lives a few hours away and I have small children on my own who I can't have around her. It is also hard to see the drugs changing her.
She has been addicted to meth for about 8 years and has been an opiate addict for the past 15 years.
She doesn't understand that her problems are meth related or that the delusions are from the meth. She is involved with a 20+ year relationship with an abusive alcoholic who makes fun of her and calls her the "wicked witch" and laughs and scoffs at her with his friends. She used to be absolutely beautiful and now she has lost that.
Is this addiction too far gone? I believe she will die soon, I don't understand how she has made it this long. How do meth addicts normally die? Has anybody ever had an "intervention" after a long term addiction and had success? And does the meth psychosis last forever or will it subside if she gets clean? I believe she stays up for well over a week bingeing on the drug, sleeps for a few days and starts right back up. If she just stopped bingeing will her mind come back? Or should I just be ready for the phone call?

soberclover

I'm sorry that you are going through this It sounds like the addiction really has your Mom. Crystal meth and/or opiates that your mom struggles with are strong addictions. The psychosis is related to her going without proper nutrition and sleep for long period of time. The drug also messes with the chemical balance in the brain. It is hard to watch a parent go through this. What are you doing to support yourself? Do you have Naranon meetings around you? You have taken a great step reaching out for information and support! Glad you found this site

least

to SR! I'm sorry your mom is addicted to drugs. There's not much you can do for her, she has to want to get clean for herself. I pray you find peace in your life.

We also have a forum for friends and family of substance abusers. Give it a look for additional insight from those who have been in your shoes.

Twofish

Hi and welcome to SR Nesst! I hope you find some peace and some answers here. You have taken that first step and I'm sure others will chime in with their experiences. I do have one question. I'm not familar with "meth" but you mentioned your mom pulled all her hair out? My child with a heroin addiction does this too. It's so sad to see beautiful woman do this to their bodies. My child also pulls her eyelashes and eyebrows out too. I'm sorry if I'm getting too personal, I just wanted to know. Hugs to you! TF

Anna

Welcome!

I'm really sorry for the situation with your mother. It must be so difficult.

I hope you can find some peace and please do check out our Friends & Families forum.

Mountainmanbob

recovery for the meth addict

This prolonged period of neural repair requires significant psychiatric
care, counseling, nutrition, and spiritual support. No single method of rehabilitation
is universally successful. A coherent, comprehensive approach
including psychiatric medications, cognitive behavioral therapy, discipline,
nutritional support, and spiritual awakening are necessary and time
consuming. Aftercare and supervision are needed for many months, even
years, after completion of a competent drug treatment program.
Some of the effects of methamphetamine use persist for many years
into recovery. The residual effects of meth are related to duration and
intensity of drug use, and include memory loss, hesitancy in speech,
irritability, and short attention span.51 Impairment of the pleasure center
results in persistent depression and loss of motivation.52 With successful
drug rehabilitation, the addict can recover the majority of his pre-morbid
personality, or characteristics of his personality before he used meth. He
might never get his old sense of humor back, but he can learn to control his
temper, meet his children’s needs, and participate in meaningful
relationships.

nesst

I have been to individual counseling as well as group counseling. I go through different stages with it, anger, pity, sadness, indifference, etc. It was very hectic growing up in this lifestyle. As well, her psychosis led her to believe that her cats protected her from demons and at one point I caught her living infested, with over 100 cats and a good amount of feral kittens. I was able to contact the humane society because the animals (and her) were living in extremely unsanitary conditions.
Self-care as I have come to learn is very important but I have this tremendous guilt for "ditching" her. It just became too much. My counselors have told me to cut off contact and over the past few years I have only seen her a couple of times. When I heard yesterday she was being abused, teased and ridiculed, I feel just terrible for her.
I will visit the friends and family forum. I always have a hard time with those, as well as the group counseling because I find they are mostly parents just loving their children and wanting to do anything to help them. Then I wish I had a parent like that.

Bruce292

I have a friend ("have" here is a key word) who used crack for many years moved to away to another city, started using meth, lost all his teeth and became homeless for 9 years. He came back home finally. He was emaciated and looked like he had aged 100 years. What was really scary was he was very paranoid and didn't make much sense. Over time he slowly started to become himself again. Not totally but he's much better. We all chipped in to get him some teeth. He now has a job and is holding it together pretty well. He often talks about meth and says he never would have stopped if he hadn't gotten to a point where he was too weak to hussle some money.

I'm sorry that you have to witness what's has happened to your mother. My friend came back so recovery is possible.

Sulu1

I can't imagine how awful it is to have to see your mother like that. Unfortunately meth is not something I know much about, apart what from what I've seen on some American TV shows.

You absolutely have not 'ditched' her, she will not be able to quit unless she wants to, until that time occurs (I truly hope it does) maybe the best thing you can do is look after yourself and get all the support that you can.

Welcome to SR, sorry I've not been much help on this occasion but just wanted to extend a warm welcome to the community

Mizzuno

I am sorry that you are going through this. I want to let you know that I completely relate to your experience. I understand how difficult it is to watch a family member sabotage, and realistically there is nothing that can be done until they are ready to get help. That being said, I have not spoken to my own mother in 6 years. I understand that there is guilt associated with not protecting your mother and walking away. Your mother has chosen a very hard road and she is the one who needs to come to an understanding and a realization that it is up to her to change. Your therapist is correct when they tell you to cut off all contact, and your feelings of wanting to help when when you hear of how bad things have become are completely normal. However, it is imperative that you maintain your boundaries and take care of yourself and your children. Please know that you are doing the right thing no matter how bad it may hurt at the time. You can not change this. As for the psychosis? I think that after a period of time the without use the psychosis does go away, but there is a definite change in a person that has abused Meth. Love and healing to you!

gigi0310

Sorry about your situation. For more info. You can search on YouTube for meth documentaries or on Netflix or hulu. There are also some good books of people's stories.

Also www.drug abuse.gov/drugs-abuse

My d.o.c. is alcohol so I needed to find info. Also.

nesst

Ahhh, I think I just started second guessing myself. What a sad and progressive disease addiction is. I've had almost my entire life to think about and deal with this, I just can't believe how bad things can get and how far down "rock bottom" is. In fact, I'm pretty sure that rock bottom is just a bottomless pit in this case.
It seems like so many people who have addicts in their lives just move on but with hope, or at least that is what I was told to do. I would like to know if others have completely given up hope and just accepted it. I think that might be more freeing than hoping that one day things will change.
I can't believe the nice things that people have said and the level of understanding here

FourSeasons

Dear ness,
This is such a sad story. I am really sorry you need to struggle with this. The best thing you can is to simply walk away and love and take care of your own children. You need to come to terms that you have done everything you possibly can. You cannot control her. You did not cause her addiction and you cannot cure it. Only she has the power to save herself.

Yet, she is your mother. I know it is hard for you.

All my best,

4S

phoebe64

I have no advice. I read this out of curiosity to understand as well, no knowing much about meth and its addiction.

Your story brings tears to my eyes. I am just one year older than your mother, so, I could be your mother. And I feel so sad for what you have had to endure as her child. I had a toxic relationship with my mother, though very different reasons, some to do with her alcohol addiction, though.

What is so very painful is letting go of the parent you want or wish you had, and deserved, and accepting the one you got. And, setting boundaries, and if it is a toxic relationship, you are entitled to keeping your distance for your health and for your children's sake. But sounds like you got that all figured out.

What a sad situation, all around. It brought tears to my eyes. I hope you find some help and answers here.

Hugs,

Ro

nfijules

Hi...and thanks for posting. Your mom is not hopeless. I myself endured psychosis for 2 years and thought the world even including my children were conspiring against me. Even after I got sober 1 1/2 years later, i had to take meds, but it went away. Your mother has to want sobriety to get sober. Love her and mention some new healthy lifestyle for her. Unfortunately, it wasnt even in my vocabulary to know of a true happy life. I followed a sober person and was drawn to them.
I didnt decide to get sober until I read the AA big book. Then, I realized I had a problem...2 days later, I surrendered and went to treatment. Its been 3 years.....Attraction not promotion. Prayers for mom.