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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 9
Just become the newest member!
Hi guys, after about an hour browsing threads I decided to sign up, as I feel this could be the place to help me on my road to recovery.
I won't go into huge detail, but i'd like to start by offering a little background. Im a 34 year old male from the UK and I started drinking about a year ago after quitting a previous drug problem I developed, I was a regular amphetamine user (speed or whizz as its known here not meth) I think in quitting one bad habit i've actually replaced it with another, and after having witnessed first hand the problems caused after losing my father to drink (and after being by his side time and again watching him detox) im quite ashamed to say heading down the same road and am looking for helpful advice to help me with my problem now.
When I first started drinking it was a bottle of liqueur, then two (over here they're pretty cheap) then it developed into maybe quarter of a bottle of vodka, now im going through around 50cl of vodka a day, and I know there's only 1 place im going unless I get to grips with it now, its gotten to the point where I regularly wake up during the night needing to empty my bowels and suffering chronic indigestion, tonight is a good example, its now 4:20am here, I went to bed drunk last night at around 10:30pm, and I woke at 2:30am, if there was any drink left in the house, i'd usually have it and go back to bed after visiting the toilet.
My main fear of quitting is after seeing my dad hallucinating during detox, and how he was unable to control his actions, one time he slashed all the cushions in his house with a knife looking for a "little annoying man" I have 5 kids who's well being I need to put first.
Thanks for taking time to read, and thanks for allowing me to join up here.
I won't go into huge detail, but i'd like to start by offering a little background. Im a 34 year old male from the UK and I started drinking about a year ago after quitting a previous drug problem I developed, I was a regular amphetamine user (speed or whizz as its known here not meth) I think in quitting one bad habit i've actually replaced it with another, and after having witnessed first hand the problems caused after losing my father to drink (and after being by his side time and again watching him detox) im quite ashamed to say heading down the same road and am looking for helpful advice to help me with my problem now.
When I first started drinking it was a bottle of liqueur, then two (over here they're pretty cheap) then it developed into maybe quarter of a bottle of vodka, now im going through around 50cl of vodka a day, and I know there's only 1 place im going unless I get to grips with it now, its gotten to the point where I regularly wake up during the night needing to empty my bowels and suffering chronic indigestion, tonight is a good example, its now 4:20am here, I went to bed drunk last night at around 10:30pm, and I woke at 2:30am, if there was any drink left in the house, i'd usually have it and go back to bed after visiting the toilet.
My main fear of quitting is after seeing my dad hallucinating during detox, and how he was unable to control his actions, one time he slashed all the cushions in his house with a knife looking for a "little annoying man" I have 5 kids who's well being I need to put first.
Thanks for taking time to read, and thanks for allowing me to join up here.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
Hi Chimpy - and welcome 
I think it's important to remember that detox reactions like your dads are pretty old school - theses days we have better understanding of alcoholism and better access to health facilities.
I recommend you go see a Dr, get checked out.
The great likelihood is that all is well anyway, but I think you want to make 100% sure you'll be in a position to look after your little guys at all times
as far as support and ideas go you'll find a ton of both here
D
I think it's important to remember that detox reactions like your dads are pretty old school - theses days we have better understanding of alcoholism and better access to health facilities.
I recommend you go see a Dr, get checked out.
The great likelihood is that all is well anyway, but I think you want to make 100% sure you'll be in a position to look after your little guys at all times
as far as support and ideas go you'll find a ton of both here
D
to SR
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 9
Thanks all, I forgot to post my name in my op, please call me Colin.
Well im about to face my first test, I didn't talk to my wife about joining here, or about my intentions, we both started drinking together, and she consumes about the same amount as me as we drink together (truth be told, I probably drink more as she pours me bigger measures than herself) and im expecting her home in around an hour after she picks up the children from school, I fully expect her to come in with a bottle of vodka, so im sat here now bracing myself to saying no for the first time, I guess when I say no im going to have to ask her not to be persistent in asking/encouraging and explain its my intention to change this routine we've become used to.
Im drawing on every ouch of courage right now, but if im honest it is already looking like the easy option is to not say no and start tomorrow! My counter argument to myself right now is that tomorrow never comes.
Well im about to face my first test, I didn't talk to my wife about joining here, or about my intentions, we both started drinking together, and she consumes about the same amount as me as we drink together (truth be told, I probably drink more as she pours me bigger measures than herself) and im expecting her home in around an hour after she picks up the children from school, I fully expect her to come in with a bottle of vodka, so im sat here now bracing myself to saying no for the first time, I guess when I say no im going to have to ask her not to be persistent in asking/encouraging and explain its my intention to change this routine we've become used to.
Im drawing on every ouch of courage right now, but if im honest it is already looking like the easy option is to not say no and start tomorrow! My counter argument to myself right now is that tomorrow never comes.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 526
you've said all the right things.
and you are on the right path.
it will difficult, but going to down that similar road your father unfortunately went, is much harder than quitting. think about your children and the toll it would take on them.
i really think you must be honest with your wife. and if you both can quit, you have nothing but wonderful life ahead of you.
and you are on the right path.
it will difficult, but going to down that similar road your father unfortunately went, is much harder than quitting. think about your children and the toll it would take on them.
i really think you must be honest with your wife. and if you both can quit, you have nothing but wonderful life ahead of you.
AmandaUK
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Northampton, UK
Posts: 21
Hi Colin, I'm on the same time as you as also in the UK so have been about how you're doing. Your last post was about 15 minutes ago so I'm hoping all is ok. Have you thought about having a chat with your wife? Surely she would understand at least a little about your worries particularly where the children are concerned? Maybe she's feeling the same? Perhaps you can suggest talking once the children are in bed? It might be that you do not want to rock the boat so to speak but the boat will surely sink if things get worse and you feel you're struggling now? So glad you found this website, I've only been here a few days myself and everyone has been more than kind, helpful and full of advice and support. If you do leave it until 'tomorrow', please come back at some point... I guess we all need to be ready to an extent. Check in and let us know how it goes. Good luck... Much love xAx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 9
Thanks serious, its not that I've purposely kept it from her, I just haven't had the chance to sit down and talk with her about it, I woke early this morning at around 2:30am, and couldn't get back to sleep, so ended up staying up and help get the kids ready for school, then went back to bed to catch up on my sleep, she had gone out by the time I woke.
At the same time, I've taken this decision by myself, and hopefully in time I hope she will choose to do the same, I dont want to preach to her, or try convince her into doing something she might not be ready to embrace yet, as imo it would probably have little chance of success if she's not ready to take that step.
And you right on with thinking about the children, when she comes home their physical presence should give me all the strength I need.
At the same time, I've taken this decision by myself, and hopefully in time I hope she will choose to do the same, I dont want to preach to her, or try convince her into doing something she might not be ready to embrace yet, as imo it would probably have little chance of success if she's not ready to take that step.
And you right on with thinking about the children, when she comes home their physical presence should give me all the strength I need.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 9
Thanks Amanda, that really spooked me as its my wife's name also!!
Yeah im shaping up well I think, im actually starting to feel nervous in preparing myself to say no for the first time, like its my first appearance on stage in front of an audience or something, something that would usually cause me to "have a drink" to calm my nerves, weird!
Yeah I do intend on sitting down and explaining my intentions, I dont want her to feel like im trying to force her into doing the same, but understand that could make it harder for myself if she's still drinking, without trying to sound like im already making excuses, should I fall off the wagon.
Yeah im shaping up well I think, im actually starting to feel nervous in preparing myself to say no for the first time, like its my first appearance on stage in front of an audience or something, something that would usually cause me to "have a drink" to calm my nerves, weird!
Yeah I do intend on sitting down and explaining my intentions, I dont want her to feel like im trying to force her into doing the same, but understand that could make it harder for myself if she's still drinking, without trying to sound like im already making excuses, should I fall off the wagon.
AmandaUK
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Northampton, UK
Posts: 21
Maybe to start with you could just tell her that YOU are not going to drink this evening... Say you're having trouble sleeping and you think it might be attributed to the alcohol... Then tomorrow, you could say how much better you feel for not having had a drink etc etc. Perhaps she will follow your lead? Let us know how you get on x
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Welcome to the family Colin. We're so glad you joined us.
SR saved me when I came crawling in here, drinking 'round the clock. The friendship, support, and encouragement has been a miracle for me. Be proud of yourself for taking these steps toward a better life. Some never see what they're doing to themselves and their families. We know you can do it.
SR saved me when I came crawling in here, drinking 'round the clock. The friendship, support, and encouragement has been a miracle for me. Be proud of yourself for taking these steps toward a better life. Some never see what they're doing to themselves and their families. We know you can do it.
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