This isnt normal
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: california
Posts: 43
This isnt normal
I clean a lot for my job and I was cleaning a cabin yesterday and I found a pint of royal in the fridge someone had taking a shot or two but that was it. It was like a switch went off in my head and I was instantly thinking how I could sneek it pass my bosses what color soda bottle could I empty and replace it with the alcohol. I did just that I poured out a bottle of coke and replace it with the alcohol...1 I could get fired for this...2 the bottle was f****** open who the hell know if the people who stayed in the cabin didn't have health probs...I get home I drink I wake up this morning and theres puke all over the floor...yet the first thing I did this morning was hunt for the bottle because I don't remember if I drank it all last night and hey a shot this morning sounded grand...what the hell is wrong with me...day one 9/10/13 
::headbang e
::headbang e
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 480
What's wrong with you?
Hmmm...well, I'm gonna go way out on a limb here and suggest that you might, just might, mind you, be an alcoholic? An obsession of the mind, coupled with an allergy of the body (A buddy of mine says: I gotta start and I can't stop).
If that sounds like you, well then, it's an illness that needs treatment. It's not about willpower or moral fortitude - those always buckle after a while, at least that's my experience.
Are you using any particular support/plan of recovery? Many alcoholics can't recover on their own and use AA-12 Step, AVRT, SMART, etc.
Hmmm...well, I'm gonna go way out on a limb here and suggest that you might, just might, mind you, be an alcoholic? An obsession of the mind, coupled with an allergy of the body (A buddy of mine says: I gotta start and I can't stop).
If that sounds like you, well then, it's an illness that needs treatment. It's not about willpower or moral fortitude - those always buckle after a while, at least that's my experience.
Are you using any particular support/plan of recovery? Many alcoholics can't recover on their own and use AA-12 Step, AVRT, SMART, etc.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 355
Many people are broken in some way. And everyone is fixable. Don't give up.
Stick around SR and read, read, read. You'll find that most of us are/were just as broken as you.
And the next time you want to drink, picture that puke on the floor. Imagine the smell. Run your fingers through it.
That might help.
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