BigShoe

For some reason been hit hard by cravings. Somewhere around 110 days in and decided to have a go. Have some fun again, be free, be young. I've been feeling a bit old and fogey.
Poured a vodka for a screwdriver and some old memory came back to me. Never drink again. It was a warning. Get a tatoo that says never drink again. I could feel the pain I once felt thinking that. I remember treating myself like the guy in the movie momento. He had no memory so had to get tatoos to remind himself of everything. For a long time I chose not to remember the pain. Thankfully I just did.
Have to find a real way to stop acting old. Suggestions?

Pondlady

Hi BigShoe,
I think drinking ages us. Good for you for remembering what it's really like.

Dollyangel17

Glad you fought through it. I had a close call around the 2 month mark...bought a pint of brandy and walked around with it in my purse for 24 hours. After I bought it, I came on here and read posts for a few hours and it saved me. I was reminded that if I cracked that seal on the bottle, I would feel so much worse.

It worked, and the next day I tossed it away unopened.

Maybe write down some of the painful memories and carry it around to look at if a craving happens. Also write down some of the things that are positives now in you life and look at that as well.,

Stay strong!

not2late

What is it that you did when you were drinking that you can't do when you are not drinking? I don't know of any activity that demands we drink to participate. I've been struggling with this myself some. Thinking I'm bored without drinking however how does drinking keep me from being bored?? I guess because we are numb or blacked out. I guess headaches pukeing and guilt are activities we can't do if we don't drink. Ugh..I remember again why I wanted to stop. End of my day 15. Hang in there.

Dee74

Hows the balance in your life BigShoe?
do you have healthy strategies for dealing with stress and the other ups and downs of life?

Apart from staying active and busy, I find looking at those things - and trying not to take myself too seriously - generally keeps me young at heart

D

least

I'm glad you didn't drink it.

Tippingpoint

Get the tattoo!

DoubleBarrel

That's great that you stopped.

I once held a glass of vodka in my hand for an hour, and finally drank it.

I don't know how to feel less old, but I have a couple friends that swear by 20 something year old girls.

mandymarie22

good for you bigshoe. I am day 8 and have not gone to the liquor store. You have to give yourself credit for pouring it and not drinking it. good for you!

LadyinBC

Looking back I really never had any fun while drinking. Acting like a fool, throwing up, not remembering things, is that really fun? And what is acting old anyways? We are only as old as we think we are.

I'm going to stay a hip, young grandma forever!

BigShoe

Thanks for the kind words and good ideas.

Guess it's been hard with my SO drinking hard every night and having a few days off together. We'd both usually be plastered all day.

Think the old man thoughts are coming with my approaching 40th birthday and career related questions.

Things have been going very well. Glad I didn't drink today.

Been really working on relaxation and letting go. Something happened... Tomorrow the sun may shine in my mind

Dee74

40? you're a pup

D

SoberChristy

If it makes you feel any better, I feel old and I'm 26! Although I've probably aged myself a bit with the booze!

Nuudawn

Everything is a state of mind. You drank to feel young? Now the magic of sobriety is keeping your wits about you long enough to start managing your own state of mind. You Bigshoe...you are in charge of your state of mind and you have to find new ways to manage things. Alcohol is not the CEO...you are. The only way to execute direction is sober ..with all your wits aboutcha.

Eleni58

Since I quit drinking, I feel younger again. Drinking always made me feel older and I lost that childhood innocence and the little kid in me lost wonder for the world.

misspond

40's not old, 40's just a new beginning! With luck you're only half-way through your life and so what better way to approach your new life, sober and full of the wisdom of someone who finally worked it out.

doggonecarl

Not sure why you equate sobriety with feeling old and drinking with having fun and feeling young, but you are 40, and no longer a kid. With 40 comes a level of maturity that can only be enhanced by being and staying sober.

Being young isn't an "activity" it's a mindset.

So is being old.

happyhour

bigshoe, nice resolve, congratulations and thanks for posting that.

to feel young again, i suggest you go ride a roller coaster and i don't mean the one you were on when you drank.

BigShoe

I don't think I drank to feel young. I think I was young and I drank. It was a major activity throughout my youth. Shirking responsibility for a fix.

Was having a tough go, but feeling better. Just have a bit of time on my hands and not filling it wisely. So much to do but not really wanting to do anything. That's where drinking came in handy, too drunk to do anything. Anything besides start fights, do something stupid...

Time to cover ground in the right direction. Ride a roller coaster, date a 20 year old, change the mindset,.. Wait, probably have to skip the 20 year old... Good idea though DB.

Thanks for all the advices and "open yer eyes!" Calls.

360shoes

Hi BigShoe,
From one shoe to another...

Sometimes I just have to fake acting like the person I want to be. Not fake like a bad thing but just to start it going. I think some milestones in our life just do that whether 30 or 40 or 50...sometimes I sit and think about if I turned out to be the person I wanted to be at my age. Sober. Not when I drank mind you. I didn't think about anything to important then.

So, I'm just saying it's never too late to reinvent ourselves. Think of a person who in your mind lives the life you dream of. For me, that is a confident, fun, smart, caring woman with good friends and activities she enjoys...all on her own accord. No mind alternating substances.

Nothing says fabulous more than someone comfortable in there own skin. Own it BigShoe! Make your 40 a great one! Heck, lie about your age. I do it all the time. JK

Good for you throwing that vodka right down the drain where it belongs!