spunkypunk

This is my first post. I've been in and out of AA at least 10 times. I do well for about 2 weeks and then the depression kicks in. Sept 10 was the last time I used. Prior to that I was using about 1-2 times a week (pain pills). I was careful not to use too much to avoid withdrawal. The last few days have been so confusing. It may sound cliche but I can't tell up from down. I have no physical withdrawals, just depression and crying spells. I've had problems with depression since I was a young teen, it's nothing new to me. Making meetings is really hard....or maybe I'm just making it hard...? Me and my husband are students, my husband works full time, I'm a stay at home mom (2 kids), and we share one car. So, yeah, making meetings is a challenge. Also, I'm scared to go back in the meetings, again...crying again...totally broken again. I don't want to be judged. Or worse, what if no one even wants to help me because they think it's pointless. Why help someone who can't stay sober longer than 2 weeks, right?

pinkdog

Dear spunkypunk, People here do want to help. I am sending a hug to you. You are definitely not alone here.

Hevyn

Welcome spunky. We all understand your feelings of despair. Most of us have experience with that.

The main thing is that you haven't given up. You're reaching out for help and encouragement. I think you'll find helpful information and suggestions here. Please keep reading and posting. You can do this, spunky - regardless of your past frustration.

least

It's never pointless to reach out to someone who needs help.

firstymer

Spunky, I found SR two weeks ago and have managed to stay sober since then. The people here understand so well what I am going through. And their advice and genuine concern have been so comforting. I am glad you are here. Good luck and stay close.

happyhour

i don't think that will occur. we say that to ourselves in our despair. most people here (SR), have gotten sober, relapsed, gotten sober - so, you'll find acceptance, no judgment, and good advice. but, we get so disgusted with ourselves, we think everyone else is disgusted with us too, but that's just not true.

glad you are here.

spunkypunk

Thank y'all I think that's the first time I've smiled today.

resolute50

Welcome to SR.
There's absolutely no judging here. Just a whole lot of folks that are trying to do the right thing. And many being very successful at it.
As I'm sure you will be. Just feel free to hang out here when things get rough.
There's a lot of knowledgeable and caring people to talk with.
And mostly, know that you are not alone.

foolsgold66

Welcome. I think if you'll read a lot here it will be really good for you. Many of us have had the same struggles, many have overcome, and many are still trying. Keep trying, and lean on the forum for support if needed.

LillianGish

Welcome and ((((big hug)))).

I'm actually a big fan of crying. It's not a bad thing sometimes. It's a release. It tells me that what's going on isn't working. Pain pushes us to get better.

Depression though, is nothing to mess around with. It can take away your ability to see clearly. Can you see a doctor soon?

Baby steps hon. All of it can get better.

ReadyAndAble

Glad you found SR, spunky. That's when things finally started to click for me. A lot of great insight here, and support too. I'm really grateful I kept trying—you will be, too.

ExWinoMom

I am a stay at home mum with 2 kids too. They are 2.5 and 6 months, I'm breastfeeding them both. I too am having a hard time. I realise that drinking while on lexapro is really getting me down. My husband is complaining about lack of sex. He works very long hours. I feel like getting drunk a lot. Not today though, not getting drunk.
How old are your kids? There is hope and support here! X

Dee74

Welcome to SR spunkypunk

this is a great group and you'll find a ton of support here
I'm really glad you found us

D