Well I was doing so well but.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 327
Well I was doing so well but.....
after 53 days, I drank last night. It was a beautiful sunny Saturday. I was out walking and thought a drink would be nice. I went into my old spot, the Irish Pub near my house and got terribly intoxicated. I became belligerent, accused the bartender of being a terrorist because he had a long beard...(?) Wtf? Don't know where that came from. I told this nice man sitting beside me that he got really lucky to be engaged to the lovely girl he was with. He was not on her level in the looks department and I thought it was my duty to let him know. I just became a terrible, rude and obnoxious person. I was finally asked to leave the bar and escorted to the front door. My lesson is just because you are doing well in sobriety doesn't mean that you wont make that bad decision to drink. I was feeling lonely yesterday and I had the opportunity to drink without family members being around so I did. It's done. I hate to lose my 53 days and start over. It's humiliating to admit that I said those things and that I drank but this is all about being honest. If I am not honest there is no point in trying to stay sober, because I will fail. I enjoyed being sober for those days and I want to live sober again...one day at a time. Oh....AND I spend a butt load of money on drinks and bought drinks for total strangers. I guess if you accepted a drink from me, the price you paid was to have to listen to my silly rant. The only thing I cant be honest about or tell that I slipped is my therapy group. Because it is court ordered from my DUI, I believe they have to report if I use alcohol and that could violate me with the court. I don't want to go to jail because I drank one night. But not sure how helpful group will be if I am hiding this.
Anyway, I am not giving up.
Anyway, I am not giving up.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
It's too bad you had to go through that but at least you gained some insight. You have reset your sobriety date but you get to keep everything you learned those first 53 days so it's not a total do over.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 480
Thanks for sharing what happened, Tate. Man, that insidious first drink. It's baffling, isn't it - the thinking that precedes that first drink?
Only you can determine what to tell your group, though I will say that I think you're on to something about it's helpfulness being compromised without honesty.
Thanks again.
Only you can determine what to tell your group, though I will say that I think you're on to something about it's helpfulness being compromised without honesty.
Thanks again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,190
I'm sure it wasn't easy coming here and admitting to us all that you slipped - well done for being honest and brave.
None of us here are here to judge - only to try and help and your 53 days is still in your back pocket - you could have got up today and said 'oh well I stuffed up I might as well get drunk again' but you didn't
and that's where you owe yourself credit - you danced to the song and now your facing the music.
Don't be too hard on yourself - its only a mistake if you don't learn from it. I think you've learned it's not worth it. I'm glad you came back and I hope you do well.
None of us here are here to judge - only to try and help and your 53 days is still in your back pocket - you could have got up today and said 'oh well I stuffed up I might as well get drunk again' but you didn't
and that's where you owe yourself credit - you danced to the song and now your facing the music. Don't be too hard on yourself - its only a mistake if you don't learn from it. I think you've learned it's not worth it. I'm glad you came back and I hope you do well.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Tate, your post is an excellent reminder to those of us who think that we have proved our point. That, maybe, somehow, after showing that we can stay sober for awhile, that we are able to handle a few drinks. We aren't. Or at least I am not. I am glad you are here. And I am glad you are up to Day 3 already since your slip. I hope your bronchitis gets better soon. 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Seattle,WA
Posts: 40
I'm here for the same reason and on day 3 now. I got trashed and was obnoxious with opening day of Football as my excuse. While I'm horribly embarrassed by my behavior I've taken the stance that my behavior that day did not define who I am, it defined who I'm never going to be again and brought me here!
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by notincontrol 
Posting here and not putting yourself in the pity pot the very next day is incredible. you will make it.
I'm astounded at how alcohol changed my personality. I'm a very quiet person until I drink and then all of a sudden I think I'm a comedian. I'm not funny even drunk! Well....funny like in odd maybe.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Good on you for getting back up. One of my last goes at trying to drink in bar pretty much played out the exact same way.
It still amazes me when my mind likes to wander and think I am all that and a bag of chips even in sobriety. At least sober I can come back to reality. Drunk? Forgetta bout it, I AM all that, funny, pretty, smart, tall, thin and I bought you drink. You should feel honored...lol
While I was looking down the bar at another drunk and thinking "At least I am not that bad", someone from the other end was looking down at me and thinking the same thing.
It still amazes me when my mind likes to wander and think I am all that and a bag of chips even in sobriety. At least sober I can come back to reality. Drunk? Forgetta bout it, I AM all that, funny, pretty, smart, tall, thin and I bought you drink. You should feel honored...lol
While I was looking down the bar at another drunk and thinking "At least I am not that bad", someone from the other end was looking down at me and thinking the same thing.
AmandaUK
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Northampton, UK
Posts: 21
It's a little reminder to us all not to get complacent at any time during our recovery and continued lives when it comes to alcohol. Since coming here a few days ago I've spoken to people who have slipped after a few weeks, months and years... one person had even been sober for 25 years! So don't be too hard on yourself, yes you may have had a little blip but we've all been there in one way or another. At least you recognise it, have spoken about it and now want to continue to do something about it. Good luck x
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 526
as many have said, you didn't lose the 53 days you had put together.
we've all slipped up here and there.
it is a life-long journey. don't give up and keep on going. soon enough you'll have more than 53 days again. and hopefully many many more after that.
we've all slipped up here and there.
it is a life-long journey. don't give up and keep on going. soon enough you'll have more than 53 days again. and hopefully many many more after that.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Hi Tate. I'm so glad you're back and didn't go off on a long binge (like I did so many times).
You aren't giving up - and you learned something valuable. Every time we pick up it leads to an unpredictable & usually horrible outcome. It never makes anything better or more fun. We can't touch the stuff.
You aren't giving up - and you learned something valuable. Every time we pick up it leads to an unpredictable & usually horrible outcome. It never makes anything better or more fun. We can't touch the stuff.
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