anewchance

Hey all,

I became a member here many months ago attempting to quit drinking..... it lasted maybe a day or two I drank hard liquor almost everynight for the past 3 years (escalated in the past 6 months) and was slowly killing myself and ruining my family and my business at the same time.

Sober now for 2 weeks with no issues whatsoever/ absolutely zero withdrawals. How is this possible when I fended for a bottle every single night?

What happened : Well I had a rough night a couple of Thursdays ago. I was so down with everything and had a significant amount of liquor in me that I started cutting my arm up with a razor and getting extremely aggressive. My wife freaks out and calls my family - when they get to my home I had nothing but anger for everyone and my sister called the cops cause of my aggressiveness. So I get taken to the hospital, bandaged up and my system flushed out. I get sent back home and was told by wife that if I drank again she is gone.

So I go 2 very hard days of not drinking while I stayed in a very deep depression. I try going back to work Monday but left midday cause I couldn't handle it - life was horrible. I went straight to the liquor store and started downing a pint. I get home and started cutting myself much worse, this time blood dripping all over the floor and my wife screaming trying to get the razor knife out of my hands. She called the cops - they came in guns drawn, all in front of my kids sadly. Right back to the hospital with absolutely no hope insight.

This time around I got to stay in a Mental Hospital for 3 days. After watching more tv then Ive seen in years, I met with all the doctors and psychiatrists on my last day. They were going to let me out and said I am struggling with alcoholism. I asked them to dig deeper cause I felt there was another issue. I told them that my mind races at 100 mph, I get very angry for small stuff, and I am many times paranoid. They said that is all from the alcoholism - I explained to them that I was that way even the years I was able to not drink as well as when I was growing up. So they asked a few more questions and came to the conclusion that I am bi-polar.

The medication I am on for the condition has absolutely one hundred and ten percent changed my life! They gave me other drugs for depression and the drug that helps control my condition. I do not and need not take the antidepressants, cause I can now think clearly! I don't have 20 bad thoughts racing through my head every 2 seconds. The amazing thing is that I have not even had an inkling to have a drink. It is hard to believe that all of my fending was to basically shut my brain down every night, and its amazing that taking care of the bi-polar issue has completely rid of any taste for alcohol. The scary thing is this : If I had not spoken up and told the docs that I felt there was another issue at hand and they only diagnosed me as an alcoholic - I truly feel I wouldn't be here today.


I truly hope this story helps someone cause I went from NEEDING the drink to shut down to thinking much clearer and being rid of any taste for alcohol. I GOT MY LIFE BACK!

Anna

I'm glad you're doing well.

I think alcoholism is usually a symptom of underlying issues. The hard part of recovery is dealing with the issues.

Nattythreads

I'm bi-polar. I'm also an addict. It's called a dual diagnosis. 65% of Americans with addiction problems also have mental health problems. So I'm not alone.

I hope you truly have found the answer. But don't be surprised if that's not the case. And if you do find yourself swimming in booze and wondering how you got there again, don't despair either. It took me many years to understand that you can't treat one and not the other.

Best of luck to you.

anewchance

Very true. Im still in shock as well as my wife that the underlining issue here is so easily fixed. Its nice to think like normal people now lol - and not have a million thoughts racing through my head day in and day out.

pinkdog

Hi chance, It is really great that you spoke up. I'm sure your story will help people here also. Love and a hug to you.

Lightning Bug

I'm a dual diagnosis too. Bipolar.
I am glad you got the help you needed.

anewchance

So treating the bi-polar issue didn't correct your addictions as well?

Lightning Bug

Sorry to say, but no. Bipolars tend to have addictive personalities coupled with impulsive tendencies. Treatment works as long at it is the correct one - and makes you stable.

jaynie04

I am an alcoholic with a co-occurring disorder of chronic pain. One of the things that I was anxious about when getting sober was dealing with the pain issues without using addictive substances.

I believe I self medicated with alcohol and prescribed drugs to deal with sleep and pain issues. At some point that became alcoholism and addiction.

Now that I have removed the drugs I was abusing and the alcohol from the equation, I am beginning to work with my doctors to understand what exactly is going on. I work closely with an addiction psychiatrist before I take any meds as I know from experience a lot of doctors are not trained in addiction.

There was no way my docs were going to be able to gauge what was really going on with me before I got sober. I feel like I have just begun the process of letting my body heal and I know it will take time to let things settle down.

I do believe as alcoholics and addicts that we have to be advocates to preserve our sobriety. It is a delicate balance, and it sounds like you have begun your journey as well. I am glad you are doing better!

Nattythreads

No for me as well. Serious substance abuse interferes with any prescribed treatment and renders it ineffective. You end up taking ridiculous dozes just to keep up with the havoc the drugs and alcohol are playing with your system. Total death spiral that certainly for my last two years became very critical very quickly.

This is the first stretch of sobriety I've had where I've cleansed myself entirely of anything that hinders my health professionals from dealing with the other issues. Whatever the situation you're in, I'd suggest that you stay away from alcohol full stop and give the prescribed medicines the chance to do their job.

TexasMichael

I'm glad you are doing better, anewchance.

I have suffered with anxiety and depression for decades. Funny how I thought alcohol was the solution, not the problem.

It is only after being sober for several months that most of the negative feelings are fading.

I know other medications are helpful and necessary for some. For me it sounds like trading one addicton for another.

True sobriety and mental clarity requires much longer than two weeks.

DisplacedGRITS

Bipolar here as well. I think most drugs take a couple of weeks to start taking effect. I know i still struggle with alcohol even though i take my meds. Whatever you do, don't mix the two! If i have one drink, i have a ton.

anewchance

Im almost feeling like many don't think that Im in the clear here. I suppose the reason I feel amazing about this situation is because I have quit many times before and it was extremely hard and I would eventually relapse - it was a daily battle. Now I seriously don't even think about it, and again Im shocked because of it. I was hoping that my story could help someone realize that maybe there is an underlining issue to their alcoholism - cause I NEVER would of seeked medical advice until I was basically forced to. I don't consider 2 weeks of sobriety to be to early to tell when I could never last more than 3 or 4 days without pulling my hair out. I have not had any urge whatsoever which I feel is impressive with my history and I have to chalk it up to the bipolar medicine.

Nattythreads

Nobody's saying you're not "in the clear." We're just telling you what our experience with BP and addiction is. The BP drugs will undoubtedly help with your mental problems. But if you are alcoholic, which I have no way of knowing, they will not cure your alcoholism.

What's undeniable either way though is that staying away from the booze long term will undoubtedly help you get the most from your medication.

jaynie04

Anewchance, I am glad you are expressing how you feel. I think the posters here who are also BP understand that there is no quick fix for any of our issues, and a lot of them bleed into each other. Having the proper diagnosis with underlying disorders certainly helps, but there is no easy cure for alcoholism if that is also a factor.

anewchance

I see what you all are saying. I used alcohol to shut my brain down at night and if for some reason I didn't drink I would get little to no sleep. I could lay in bed and stare at the ceiling all night long while thinking of a million things. Another reason I drank was because I felt uncomfortable around people, especially around lots of people. I suppose since I now focus on one thing as opposed to millions of things, and my slight paranoia is gone, alcohol is no longer needed for me. So I guess my BP being controlled is aiding in making my need for alcoholism obsolete. Maybe I got lucky, cause it has been a tough battle the past 12 years. Well I hope that others have the luck I feel like Im experiencing - I truly feel like a better man now.

Please don't take this thread as my undermining the extreme difficulty of battling alcoholism. I just felt that maybe someone could relate to my situation and maybe look for help instead of wasting away many years as I did.

EndGameNYC

Just know that your case is extremely rare. Seldom do people manage their so-called "underlying issues" successfully with medication and/or talk therapy, and then lose their obsession to drink almost immediately. This never happens under the "normal curve" of alcoholics and addicts.

There was a case maybe two decades ago in which a man suffering from bipolar depression took a shot gun to his head during an unsuccessful suicide attempt. When he regained consciousness in the hospital, his bipolar symptoms disappeared as a result of the damage he did to his brain. In almost every other way, he was able to function normally. (Please don't try this at home.)

There's also a famous case in psychiatry in which a chronic alcoholic suffering from Korsakoff's syndrome experienced the requisite memory loss. As a result, it was hypothesized that he "forgot" the alcoholic part of himself, and never desired another drink for the rest of his life.

Though you're feeling great, it's so important to continue taking very good care of yourself, if only because recovery from both bipolar depression and alcoholism are very fragile. I'm not diagnosing you or giving you a prognosis from afar; I'm giving you the straight dope based on what we know from a century's worth of research and clinical experience.

I'm on your bandwagon here, but I'll also caution that once your mind and body become used to the medication and the new you, you may experience an eventual break-through of symptoms for both bipolar and alcoholism.

anewchance

That is VERY good to know - thank you. I have never been medicated like this in my life, so I will definitely remember and hopefully be able to notice if there is a break-through of symptoms. Thanks for the advice.

Nattythreads

All the more reason to stay away from the alcohol. You've said before that you've had long stretches without the booze so hopefully you can do that again. It'll be we'll worth it for you.

Best of luck mate.

Nuudawn

I drank for this reason as well...and I'm not bi-polar. It may or may not turn out that your unease around people has nothing to do with your bi-polar condition.

I think your story is a very important one because I agree with Anna..that often our alcoholism is indeed symptomatic of other issues. I'm glad you shared your discovery. And I sincerely hope that your condition was indeed the only reason you found relief in alcohol. For me, not only did I habitually drink but it was my "go to" answer whenever I felt unease, discomfort, anxiety, stress, boredom, lonelieness..etc etc etc etc.

I'm going to take a wild stab at it here..and assume these aforementioned emotional troubles will still occur in your life even with bi-polar med's since these are common to us all in the human experience. The rub is..what will you do now when difficulties arise? Do you have other coping mechanisms to rely on in hard times?

All in all..it is FANTASTIC that you solved what I imagine was a torturous experience. But I only caution given the thinking that 2 weeks is evidence of anything. My first almost overpowering craving occurred about 5 to 6 weeks into my current sobriety. Neither life nor emotions are static.