MTD

Oh what a day it has been. Things just didn't go right. I was so frustrated with my life I have been weeping all day. I have been sober over a month now and this came out of nowhere. I thought about buying a bottle of wine but came home instead. Is this me dealing with my emotions without numbing? I thought my emotions where evening out. I been taking welbutrin for cravings and depression and have been feeling pretty good and today things feel apart and I am dealing with them sober. The reaction I had was not the norm for me. In the past I didn't break down like a blubbering idiot. What the hell is going on??? Anyone have break downs like this?

Anna

Of course, it's not easy to learn how to cope with life without alcohol. It takes time and patience. Try to not be frustrated with yourself.

Threshold

Yes. I do. I know many people who do. We hold it together when we have to, then come home and it all comes tumbling out.

hugs.

Humans have feelings, and it's OK to be human, even when it feels awkward. I am feeling WAY awkward and your post reminds me that I am not alone.

Any sober day is a good day.

mecanix

6 weeks , 3 months and 6 months were all times when large changes seemed to happen .. i suspect it was all to do with the effects of alcohol and the changes it makes in our brains .

The furthur you go into sobriety , the furthur away from alcohols clutches you will get .

Tomorow is a new day , wait and see how you feel in a day or two , sobriety isn't unending bliss but it isn't as miserable as the suffering alcohol causes .

Bestwishes, m

alphaomega

I was such a train wreck yesterday (one month sober) I thought I was straight up losing my sh*t.

It bled over until today.

I've read everything I can about PAWS and am worse for the wear.

Be well.

Slammy1

No, that's actually a healthy response (the crying). You've put off dealing with things for a while now, your brain is better and wants to deal with these things that affect it. I cried over my father today who died almost 8 years ago. Before when I had those feelings I would cover them up with the pipe. I look forward to resolving life's problems, assuming I survive.

Only the past is certain.

AlefVavResh

Congrats on coming here instead of giving in. I definitely have melt downs. I'm keeping them repressed right now under some invisible numb shield, but I'm bracing for the next one. That'll be my big test. Hope you feel better soon!

quitforme79

Yup....this is what happens when we stop numbing. I had a lot of these in the first three months. But they were cleansing--after I cried or felt really angry I would be exhausted but calm. Awesome job on not giving in to the drink. You will level out, just give it some time

MythOfSisyphus

I know it's weird and scary but it's normal. After years of drinking it takes awhile for your brain chemistry to adjust. I know I had weird emotional swings for months. They would come out of the blue, sometimes after months of thinking I was "normal." For me it was mostly bursts of irrational anger; I now chalk it up to my AV/Beast getting frustrated with not getting its way and throwing a tantrum!

It does get better, I can say that. A few days ago I passed the 11 month mark of sobriety. There will probably still be changes ahead but I'm finally starting to feel at home in my own skin. Eventually you will, too.

Stay the course!

neferkamichael

MTD, I have been sober over a month now? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. 3 years sober and now I have the full range of emotions, not just numb and anger. Only beginning to learn how to deal with them.
Rootin for ya.

EndStage

Been there and going through it now. If I was not at work, I would be crying my eyes out ... again, and again, and again ... I have a little under 6 months sober and within the past two weeks, the temptations of drinking and all I want is that "one" drink, yet I know exactly where I will be: locked up or 6 feet under. Is it worth it? In reality, no. In my mind, it's screaming out in pain.