He shot up in his closet, while home on rehab pass
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He shot up in his closet while home on rehab pass
Well I cant even post correctly today, went to the wrong place and had to delete it, sure that is not proper cause I couldnt delete the whole thread.
anyway, I think you guys are where ive been posting....
My husband was home from rehab over the weekend and then he had to go back on Tuesday. His parents had plans to go out of town and we didn’t tell them he was coming home. He was afraid they would cancel their plans and we honestly wanted to spend time alone at home together. I told my parents, and we did go visit them but that was it. He was with me the whole weekend, didn’t leave the house alone, or talk to anyone. We had an amazing weekend.
He went back to rehab like he was supposed to no arguments, but I get a call later in the morning from the advisor saying he had failed a drug test. They asked him if he wanted to continue with the program and he said yes, so they have rules that say he had to be kept isolated from the other patients for 48 hours and then would be reevaluated. The counselor said the patients are sensitive and it was their rule, so he agreed and was confined to his room except for counseling sessions. His room is nice and so I mean it wasn’t torture or anything. My husband didnt call me, I don’t think he had any idea they would.
Wednesday I get a call from the advisor saying he is threatening to leave, and had cursed them all out. They couldn’t stop him from leaving, and asked that I talk to him. I was told to stay calm, but I lost it. I told him I knew he tested positive for drugs, he had them hidden somewhere at home and used and lied to me the whole weekend. I called him a coward, told him I was angry, disappointed, feeling so betrayed that if he did not stay in rehab and if he came home, I would leave, I would not stay with him. I couldn’t go through one more time of his going missing, worrying that he was dead only to find out he was fading in and out using drugs for days in some trashy house. I told him he wouldn’t be able to work because his boss wont let him come back unless he finishes rehab. I yelled at him for yelling at the people there and told him he was acting like a jerk because they were there to help him. He tells me the drugs were hidden in the closet and he remembered he put them there after the first time he came home from being missing. He admitted to sitting in the closet and injecting while I was there in another room. A grown man sitting in his closet shooting up drugs. I told him I was disgusted by him, he was sick and I cant stay, I cant watch him destroy his life. I yelled and cried and it was awful. He said he was sorry a million times, and cried too. He said he would stay, begged me not to leave, give him a chance. And please don’t tell his parents. He doesn’t get it I don’t think. It is not about his parents reaction, it is about him walking in the door to our home, sitting in the closet shooting up drugs. I have to tell his parents now. His dad has been working so hard to get him out of this legal mess he is in, and for what? So he can come home and ruin it all again? I have been reading here, not posting, I know its up to him to do this. He is the only one who can. But what is wrong with him? Why is this so hard? He had only been using a few months, why is it so hard? It hurts so much.
Am I wrong in telling his parents? I know they will be angry and worry, and probably angry at me for even letting him leave rehab and come home. I could have said no, but I wanted to spend time alone with him, and I thought because the rehab approved it, then it was ok. The counselor said not to get so upset, that this can be dealt with and the important thing is he stays there so they can keep working with him. For now he is there still, and Im relieved but it has been one thing after another since he got there. Is it always this hard? I have an appointment with the counselor for myself again next week. I didn’t go this week. I told him before we hung up that I cant talk to him again for a few days, and I asked him not to call, to let me call him next. He called only once and said just that he loves me and misses me. Im so angry. I wasn’t angry at first but now I am. I hate all this.
what I didnt add to the other post was Im so angry at myself for losing my temper and yelling at him so bad. I feel horrible, and been crying over how I could say some of the stuff I said to him. I know we all get angry, but I was hateful and mean to him.
anyway, I think you guys are where ive been posting....
My husband was home from rehab over the weekend and then he had to go back on Tuesday. His parents had plans to go out of town and we didn’t tell them he was coming home. He was afraid they would cancel their plans and we honestly wanted to spend time alone at home together. I told my parents, and we did go visit them but that was it. He was with me the whole weekend, didn’t leave the house alone, or talk to anyone. We had an amazing weekend.
He went back to rehab like he was supposed to no arguments, but I get a call later in the morning from the advisor saying he had failed a drug test. They asked him if he wanted to continue with the program and he said yes, so they have rules that say he had to be kept isolated from the other patients for 48 hours and then would be reevaluated. The counselor said the patients are sensitive and it was their rule, so he agreed and was confined to his room except for counseling sessions. His room is nice and so I mean it wasn’t torture or anything. My husband didnt call me, I don’t think he had any idea they would.
Wednesday I get a call from the advisor saying he is threatening to leave, and had cursed them all out. They couldn’t stop him from leaving, and asked that I talk to him. I was told to stay calm, but I lost it. I told him I knew he tested positive for drugs, he had them hidden somewhere at home and used and lied to me the whole weekend. I called him a coward, told him I was angry, disappointed, feeling so betrayed that if he did not stay in rehab and if he came home, I would leave, I would not stay with him. I couldn’t go through one more time of his going missing, worrying that he was dead only to find out he was fading in and out using drugs for days in some trashy house. I told him he wouldn’t be able to work because his boss wont let him come back unless he finishes rehab. I yelled at him for yelling at the people there and told him he was acting like a jerk because they were there to help him. He tells me the drugs were hidden in the closet and he remembered he put them there after the first time he came home from being missing. He admitted to sitting in the closet and injecting while I was there in another room. A grown man sitting in his closet shooting up drugs. I told him I was disgusted by him, he was sick and I cant stay, I cant watch him destroy his life. I yelled and cried and it was awful. He said he was sorry a million times, and cried too. He said he would stay, begged me not to leave, give him a chance. And please don’t tell his parents. He doesn’t get it I don’t think. It is not about his parents reaction, it is about him walking in the door to our home, sitting in the closet shooting up drugs. I have to tell his parents now. His dad has been working so hard to get him out of this legal mess he is in, and for what? So he can come home and ruin it all again? I have been reading here, not posting, I know its up to him to do this. He is the only one who can. But what is wrong with him? Why is this so hard? He had only been using a few months, why is it so hard? It hurts so much.
Am I wrong in telling his parents? I know they will be angry and worry, and probably angry at me for even letting him leave rehab and come home. I could have said no, but I wanted to spend time alone with him, and I thought because the rehab approved it, then it was ok. The counselor said not to get so upset, that this can be dealt with and the important thing is he stays there so they can keep working with him. For now he is there still, and Im relieved but it has been one thing after another since he got there. Is it always this hard? I have an appointment with the counselor for myself again next week. I didn’t go this week. I told him before we hung up that I cant talk to him again for a few days, and I asked him not to call, to let me call him next. He called only once and said just that he loves me and misses me. Im so angry. I wasn’t angry at first but now I am. I hate all this.
what I didnt add to the other post was Im so angry at myself for losing my temper and yelling at him so bad. I feel horrible, and been crying over how I could say some of the stuff I said to him. I know we all get angry, but I was hateful and mean to him.
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Thanks Seren for fixing my wonky thread location, and for your comments.
I guess I do need to work on boundaries, if he took me seriously I guess I set some the other day. Like he would even want to come home to me with my attitude now.
I guess I do need to work on boundaries, if he took me seriously I guess I set some the other day. Like he would even want to come home to me with my attitude now.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
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Well, you do have every right to be angry....and you do have a right to say "No I'm not going to let you in the door right now--no way, no how".
Please don't feel guilty about how you are feeling. Vent away here, we really do understand. Take a few days and decide what YOU want to do--you deserve to give yourself that much respect
Please don't feel guilty about how you are feeling. Vent away here, we really do understand. Take a few days and decide what YOU want to do--you deserve to give yourself that much respect
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,754
I persoanally feel that everything you said to him was perfectly okay.
The counselor can manage him, but he can't manage you.
Your anger was completely spot on, he disrespected you, your home, your support, you good heart.
He needs to know how that makes you feel.
I hope he stays, and is able to deal with the consequences of his actions.
Keep setting the boundry.
The counselor can manage him, but he can't manage you.
Your anger was completely spot on, he disrespected you, your home, your support, you good heart.
He needs to know how that makes you feel.
I hope he stays, and is able to deal with the consequences of his actions.
Keep setting the boundry.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Your anger is valid, your heartbreak is valid too. Don't feel bad...just "feel" and get the emotions out. He betrayed your trust by using in your home.
I am glad you are going to get counseling. I am glad he remained in rehab. Have your thought about going to any meetings for yourself? Nar-anon, Al-anon and CoDA have been lifesavers for many of us here.
You need to heal and regain your balance just as much as he does. You have been through traumatic times and it will take time for you to find peace again.
Keep moving forward and taking care of yourself. No guilt, it's perfectly okay to take care of yourself.
Hugs
I am glad you are going to get counseling. I am glad he remained in rehab. Have your thought about going to any meetings for yourself? Nar-anon, Al-anon and CoDA have been lifesavers for many of us here.
You need to heal and regain your balance just as much as he does. You have been through traumatic times and it will take time for you to find peace again.
Keep moving forward and taking care of yourself. No guilt, it's perfectly okay to take care of yourself.
Hugs
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Yesterday I was angry at him, today I have been turning the anger at myself for calling him a coward, telling him he was disgusting. I dont think he is a coward at all, I know how hard it is for him to be there in rehab and away from home and his whole life. I am proud of him, but I am so disappointed he came home and used drugs, didnt at least tell me. I dread telling his parents and I have to do it tomorrow, I already asked them if I could come over because I needed to talk to them and his mom got alarmed and I had to lie and tell her things were ok but I just needed to talk to them. I want to be calm not bawling my eyes out. I know they are going to be angry because I let him come home, and I didnt find the drugs in the house before he came home .They told me to look, his mom even offered to help and planned to do it before he came home. If I had found the drugs then it wouldnt have happened.
He used drugs several years ago before we got together but he stopped and wasnt on anything for a long time and then we met. Based on things he has said and puzzle pieces that got put together is why all of us are pretty sure when it started again.
I havent looked into the Naranon or anything. I went to counseling because the rehab said I should do that and they offered it to me. I havent gone enough. I am going to start going more, every week maybe. I will look into the Naranon I dont know that much about it.
Probably shouldnt have posted when I feel so upset. Just hits in waves.
He used drugs several years ago before we got together but he stopped and wasnt on anything for a long time and then we met. Based on things he has said and puzzle pieces that got put together is why all of us are pretty sure when it started again.
I havent looked into the Naranon or anything. I went to counseling because the rehab said I should do that and they offered it to me. I havent gone enough. I am going to start going more, every week maybe. I will look into the Naranon I dont know that much about it.
Probably shouldnt have posted when I feel so upset. Just hits in waves.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: WA
Posts: 124
Originally Posted by BlueChair 
If I had found the drugs then it wouldnt have happened.
HE is the one who actively sought them out...he didn't just remember they were there all of a sudden and OH, YEAH...LET'S USE!!! No...he knew where they were, and he KNEW he could have told you about them and had you remove them from the house before he got there. HE could have told you he was having a weak moment. HE could have flushed them. HE could have called his counselor, HE could have done so many things before he used...
You are not to blame, so don't blame yourself for ANY of this - it's not fair to YOU. Don't let his parents blame you for this, either. It's not fair to YOU. Don't let him blame you for this...it's not fair to YOU.
You get the picture...!
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: new moon road
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Oh Blue Chair, I am sorry for all the tidal waves of emotion you are going through and have been going through for months now.
First, the spouse of a drug addict or alcoholic having an massive emotional meltdown and railing at the addict as you described you did....is very very common. It is actually pretty predictable. This is because so much in the marriage of addiction is repressed. So much emotion and fear and anger and frustration pushed down for so long and then one day, almost always triggered by the addict picking up drugs or alcohol again to the utter dismay of the spouse, it all erupts like a volcano. Very very common. Then the spouse feels guilty for what she said, thinks she's damaged her husband by her words, is afraid of the consequences to the marriage, and suddenly it is all about her asking him for forgiveness.....see how cunning, baffling and powerful addiction is?
I read some of your posts since July, and you have a serious hard core drug addict husband. He shoots coke and heroin together--speedballs--and this is evidence of a seasoned drug addict. More here know better than I, but this is not someone who started with a few Oxys and got to liking them more and more.....this is someone in a drug house with a bunch of hard core IV drug users and prostitutes and that is intense, it has deep roots, this problem of his goes way back.
So here you are today thinking if only you'd thought ahead and tore the house apart to maybe find his stash before he got home for the weekend then everything would be okay. Blue Chair, that is the cunning and diabolical nature of addiction: it makes everybody around the addict think they are the f***-ups.
Addicts get out of rehab and they use. It is as common as day and night. They tell their drug buddies to leave the stash somewhere so they can find it the minute they're out of the building....like behind a toilet stall in a public restaurant.....and this is the result of the addict mind craving and obsessing and this can continue, this craving and obsessing, for years.
You cannot intervene in that. It is beyond your control. You will come to a time when you know in your gut this is true. And so will his family. Everyone right now is just crazy with denial and that is what addiction does to family members.
He's not really all that concerned about what you said to him. He's not all that concerned about you, period. Because his primary love relationship is with heroin and cocaine. Everything else he will be willing to lose. So do not lie awake tonight thinking that he is curled up wounded because you called him names. That is the least of his worries. His major concern is how can he work things so he can get more junk.
I am so sorry to say things so directly. But I was married to a severe alcoholic and I know the life. And others here do, too.
First, the spouse of a drug addict or alcoholic having an massive emotional meltdown and railing at the addict as you described you did....is very very common. It is actually pretty predictable. This is because so much in the marriage of addiction is repressed. So much emotion and fear and anger and frustration pushed down for so long and then one day, almost always triggered by the addict picking up drugs or alcohol again to the utter dismay of the spouse, it all erupts like a volcano. Very very common. Then the spouse feels guilty for what she said, thinks she's damaged her husband by her words, is afraid of the consequences to the marriage, and suddenly it is all about her asking him for forgiveness.....see how cunning, baffling and powerful addiction is?
I read some of your posts since July, and you have a serious hard core drug addict husband. He shoots coke and heroin together--speedballs--and this is evidence of a seasoned drug addict. More here know better than I, but this is not someone who started with a few Oxys and got to liking them more and more.....this is someone in a drug house with a bunch of hard core IV drug users and prostitutes and that is intense, it has deep roots, this problem of his goes way back.
So here you are today thinking if only you'd thought ahead and tore the house apart to maybe find his stash before he got home for the weekend then everything would be okay. Blue Chair, that is the cunning and diabolical nature of addiction: it makes everybody around the addict think they are the f***-ups.
Addicts get out of rehab and they use. It is as common as day and night. They tell their drug buddies to leave the stash somewhere so they can find it the minute they're out of the building....like behind a toilet stall in a public restaurant.....and this is the result of the addict mind craving and obsessing and this can continue, this craving and obsessing, for years.
You cannot intervene in that. It is beyond your control. You will come to a time when you know in your gut this is true. And so will his family. Everyone right now is just crazy with denial and that is what addiction does to family members.
He's not really all that concerned about what you said to him. He's not all that concerned about you, period. Because his primary love relationship is with heroin and cocaine. Everything else he will be willing to lose. So do not lie awake tonight thinking that he is curled up wounded because you called him names. That is the least of his worries. His major concern is how can he work things so he can get more junk.
I am so sorry to say things so directly. But I was married to a severe alcoholic and I know the life. And others here do, too.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
I am so sorry Bluechair.
I remember when your husband was upset with you and wanted you to support his choice about staying at your house and not his parents. I thought "oh he must have a stash at the his house." I was hoping I was wrong. Addicts are just so manipulative but it's hard to see when it's someone we love.
I have been amazed at how cunning my husband has been. He actually had pills delivered to our mailbox at night.
I agree with above posters. Your anger is understandable and your guilt is all too common.
Your husband asking you not to tell his parents is a huge red flag. In fact, I think he needs to tell them, not you. No more secrets in the future, honesty for all is imperative right now...as always.
I remember when your husband was upset with you and wanted you to support his choice about staying at your house and not his parents. I thought "oh he must have a stash at the his house." I was hoping I was wrong. Addicts are just so manipulative but it's hard to see when it's someone we love.
I have been amazed at how cunning my husband has been. He actually had pills delivered to our mailbox at night.
I agree with above posters. Your anger is understandable and your guilt is all too common.
Your husband asking you not to tell his parents is a huge red flag. In fact, I think he needs to tell them, not you. No more secrets in the future, honesty for all is imperative right now...as always.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
I always wondered just the opposite.I never "nuked" the
addict I cared about---and wondered if it would have done any good.
Now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it wouldn't have
mattered either way....... in the slightest!
(so give yourself a break on the guilt)
Next time you are at the beach and have the misfortune
to find yourself face to face with a 50 foot wave-----don't
try to 'talk' it out of hitting you. Your only choice is run like
hell or stay put. Words are superfluous.
THAT is addiction.
English Garden hit the mark dead on! He's not curled up
in ball over hurt feelings..... it is 100% about getting
more junk. Nothing else matters.
addict I cared about---and wondered if it would have done any good.
Now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it wouldn't have
mattered either way....... in the slightest!
(so give yourself a break on the guilt)
Next time you are at the beach and have the misfortune
to find yourself face to face with a 50 foot wave-----don't
try to 'talk' it out of hitting you. Your only choice is run like
hell or stay put. Words are superfluous.
THAT is addiction.
English Garden hit the mark dead on! He's not curled up
in ball over hurt feelings..... it is 100% about getting
more junk. Nothing else matters.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,854
So much kindness and understanding from everyone, thank you is all I know to say, and wisdom too.
He had Valium at home and that is what he took. He didn't test positive for any cocaine or heroin, it was only a benzodiazaprene, I forgot exactly what I was told now but they confirmed it was Valium and nothing else. He has excuses for taking it, the counselor said he would have taken whatever was there once he started, so I dont know if that means there is nothing else here in the house or what. makes it sound like it or he would have taken it too. He says he didnt get high it was only to help him relax because he was tense and agitated still from the withdrawals. I know none of that matters what he says, if it is what he thought, or its what he is telling himself, or its all a lie for me because he thinks it will sound better. i about throw up thinking about him using a needle and doing this in the closet. Yesterday I took all his clothes and threw them all on the floor, dumped every box and made a big mess and then sat there are cried. Its a walk in closet and it was a big pile. I haven't even picked it up yet.
His parents will be angry, and yeah they would not let him come home in between the hospital and rehab because they said it wasnt safe for him. They were right. I know all you are saying is true he could have done a bunch of different things and he didnt. I know its up to him to fight this, adn I think that is why I called him a coward, it just came out of my mouth but it came from somewhere in my head.
The counselor said lets give it a few days and then the three of us will sit down and talk about it.
I needed these pep talks and straight talk.
He had Valium at home and that is what he took. He didn't test positive for any cocaine or heroin, it was only a benzodiazaprene, I forgot exactly what I was told now but they confirmed it was Valium and nothing else. He has excuses for taking it, the counselor said he would have taken whatever was there once he started, so I dont know if that means there is nothing else here in the house or what. makes it sound like it or he would have taken it too. He says he didnt get high it was only to help him relax because he was tense and agitated still from the withdrawals. I know none of that matters what he says, if it is what he thought, or its what he is telling himself, or its all a lie for me because he thinks it will sound better. i about throw up thinking about him using a needle and doing this in the closet. Yesterday I took all his clothes and threw them all on the floor, dumped every box and made a big mess and then sat there are cried. Its a walk in closet and it was a big pile. I haven't even picked it up yet.
His parents will be angry, and yeah they would not let him come home in between the hospital and rehab because they said it wasnt safe for him. They were right. I know all you are saying is true he could have done a bunch of different things and he didnt. I know its up to him to fight this, adn I think that is why I called him a coward, it just came out of my mouth but it came from somewhere in my head.
The counselor said lets give it a few days and then the three of us will sit down and talk about it.
I needed these pep talks and straight talk.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 628
Bluechair, this is pretty typical. My son relapsed within 1 week of coming out of rehab. In hindsight he was not ready. They are ready only when they are done. Rehab is not a magic bullet - not even close. Please keep your expectations realistic. Hope for the best but also be prepared for a relapse after he comes out of rehab and work out a plan.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear Bluechair, I'm sorry we haven met, however we are both going thru similar "events", drugs invasion that have shattered our lives. I have the same opinion on the life as you do. Why is it so hard? We try with our entire hearts to fix the ones we love, but that voice is so loud. So overpowering. I wanted to offer you encouragement and support during a crisis like the ones we are going thru.It feels like i have been doing a lot of work but the disease takes a long time to see periods of success, to feel normal again. Be strong, take care of yourself and tons of hugs to you! TF
H
Like this kinda
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Like this kinda
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Next time you are at the beach and have the misfortune
to find yourself face to face with a 50 foot wave-----don't
try to 'talk' it out of hitting you. Your only choice is run like
hell or stay put. Words are superfluous.
THAT is addiction.
to find yourself face to face with a 50 foot wave-----don't
try to 'talk' it out of hitting you. Your only choice is run like
hell or stay put. Words are superfluous.
THAT is addiction.
This was quite a gut punch for you. Through this.....if you can do one thing......take care of you. Our thoughts always jump to "if I had only done (fill in the blank), this wouldn't have happened." Addiction just doesn't work that way.....it's a tidal wave.
Makes me think of a Pearl Jam lyric "Tidal waves don't beg forgiveness.....crash and on their way." Addiction is like a tidal wave......all we can do is take care of ourselves. It sounds selfish but it's not.....it is what we have control over.
The counselor had good advice.....let a few days pass.....and see what happens. Time always reveals more.
gentle hugs
ke
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Such wise words above me, what they said may not be what you want to hear or you may think your addict is different and "it isn't so bad". Sweety, it IS.
He is at rehab, that's a good sign but it's not a cure. The rest is up to him and so far he's not doing too well.
Nothing you do or don't do will make a whit of difference. He wants full recovery or he doesn't. If love could save our addicted loved ones, not one of us would be here.
My suggestion is to stop blaming anything you did or didn't do, don't walk on eggshells trying to "not" upset him or anyone else, tell the truth and get this "dirty little secret" out where it belongs...with people who may be affected by his active addiction. Share with his parents if you like, share with the 6 o'clock news, do whatever helps you get this off your shoulders and allows you to breathe once more. There is no shame to being us, there is no shame to loving someone who is addicted. As long as we take very good care of ourselves along the way.
This is what Nar-anon or Al-anon or CoDA will teach you...how to take care of you. It is a peer group just like SR, of people who truly understand because they have been there. I was lucky enough to find a sponsor who had been through worse hell than I ever dreamed of and she was peaceful and happy and calm...and I wanted whatever it was that she had. And I got it. I am so grateful for those who went before me and held my hand while I caught up.
Take care of yourself, dear girl. Nobody else will do it for you.
Hugs
He is at rehab, that's a good sign but it's not a cure. The rest is up to him and so far he's not doing too well.
Nothing you do or don't do will make a whit of difference. He wants full recovery or he doesn't. If love could save our addicted loved ones, not one of us would be here.
My suggestion is to stop blaming anything you did or didn't do, don't walk on eggshells trying to "not" upset him or anyone else, tell the truth and get this "dirty little secret" out where it belongs...with people who may be affected by his active addiction. Share with his parents if you like, share with the 6 o'clock news, do whatever helps you get this off your shoulders and allows you to breathe once more. There is no shame to being us, there is no shame to loving someone who is addicted. As long as we take very good care of ourselves along the way.
This is what Nar-anon or Al-anon or CoDA will teach you...how to take care of you. It is a peer group just like SR, of people who truly understand because they have been there. I was lucky enough to find a sponsor who had been through worse hell than I ever dreamed of and she was peaceful and happy and calm...and I wanted whatever it was that she had. And I got it. I am so grateful for those who went before me and held my hand while I caught up.
Take care of yourself, dear girl. Nobody else will do it for you.
Hugs
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
until they are truly willing
Originally Posted by BlueChair
I have an appointment with the counselor for myself again next week.
probably best to try and relax (not as easy as it sounds)
what he did was not that uncommon
drunks and addicts hurt themselves and others (over and over)
until they are truly willing and get sober
only some make it out of the pit of hell
Mountainman
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
when my husband (way before we met) checked himself into rehab, got assigned to his room, getting settled and his "roommate" comes in, close the door, pulls a chair over, lifts one of the ceiling tiles and pulls down dope and a syringe, saying thank god I got the same room again!!!
addicts will go to ANY lengths in their pursuit.
what's kind of sad is that while you thought you were having such an "amazing" weekend, he was glad to be home cuz he knew EXACTLY where the drugs and the rig were. he's shooting up in the next room and you didn't have a clue. you didn't notice that he acted or behaved any differently.
if nothing else, perhaps this latest event in a long series of events, helps you keep your eyes open and resist trying to get things back to normal and amazing quite so soon. no more weekend visits. was that HIS idea or yours?
that he still wants to make you complicit in keeping secrets from his family reveals that he isn't really wanting to face this all down, take his lumps and move forward. be cautious. stay aware.
addicts will go to ANY lengths in their pursuit.
what's kind of sad is that while you thought you were having such an "amazing" weekend, he was glad to be home cuz he knew EXACTLY where the drugs and the rig were. he's shooting up in the next room and you didn't have a clue. you didn't notice that he acted or behaved any differently.
if nothing else, perhaps this latest event in a long series of events, helps you keep your eyes open and resist trying to get things back to normal and amazing quite so soon. no more weekend visits. was that HIS idea or yours?
that he still wants to make you complicit in keeping secrets from his family reveals that he isn't really wanting to face this all down, take his lumps and move forward. be cautious. stay aware.
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