patricia68

Hello,

I have been sober for 24 hours. I am very pleased and scared at the same time.

My drinking got out of control in the past 6-8 months due to severe anxiety. I refused to take anti-depressants because of the horrible side effects...so I self medicated with wine...what was I thinking!

For the past 6-8 months I've been drinking a bottle a day...starting at noon. Then I was concerned about my breath so on the days when my anxiety was really bad I would drink vodka...for breakfast.

I am also a smoker...a pack a day.

I realized that alcohol + nicotine are destroying my health and are the complete opposite as a medication for anxiety!

I need help please.

In the last week I had two blackouts...at dinner time. I can't remember for the life of me if I had dinner or not on those days.

And for the past 5 days I've been having panic attacks so bad that kept me awake all night. I am in a constant state of panic during the days.

I am scared. I am a mom to a beautiful 6 year old boy, I am married to a very good man...I need to get my life together!

I would really appreciate some advice. I am very scared.

Thank you for listening.

Patricia

not2late

Patricia. You have started doing one of the greatest things for yourself that you will ever do. You have admitted you have a problem and you have come here. I'm rather new to sobriety...12 days. Alcohol is not the answer to anything. Go back to your doc about your anxiety and be honest about your drinking. I went to mine..cried and everything but it was time to own up. Your son and husband need you healthy. Come here often. You don't have to always post but read. You will realize we are not alone. There is great advice here from some great folks. Welcome to the family.

Hevyn

Welcome Patricia!

I'm sorry you're upset - but in a way it's good to be scared. For many years I wasn't - I just kept justifying my behavior and going further down into hell. This won't happen to you. I'm so glad you reached out for some help and support.

Peaches is right - alcohol is not the answer to anything. Nothing changes or gets better when we're numb. I'm glad you want a better life for yourself - you can do this.

SoberChristy

Hi Patricia. There are lots of us newbies here right now. Welcome :-)

AlefVavResh

Hi, Patricia. Welcome! My suggestion is to read as many threads as possible during the next week, and whenever you feel like taking that "first" drink, come visit SR. You'll make it!

ImperfectlyMe

Welcome fellow sober mom here. It may not all come easy but the grass is defintely greener in this side! Congrats on taking care of you!

neferkamichael

Patricia, 24 Hours? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations.

escapist

You are doing great. The first 24 hours are hard. Congratulations.

jaynie04

Fellow mom of an 8 year old and also happily married here...welcome and congrats on 24 hours!

13unluckyforsom

Welcome Patricia I too drank like you due to bad anxiety but you and I both know the truth that its only ever a short lived relief because the next day there's our wee friend anxiety only this time in super bitch mode as alcohol literally does wreck your nerves!

Your in the right place and congratulations on being brave enough to come here and be honest. You will find a wealth of help here that knowledge is power in this fight against addiction. I hope to see you around and all the best.

deeker

Please Stop by the 24 Hour Club, we take it 24 Hours at a time. It's a sign up sheet. 24 Hour commitment!

patricia68

Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart! This place is amazing!
I've been reading posts for hours...and also all the replies to my post...and all I can say is thank you! For the first time in weeks the panic anxiety disappeared

I know it might come back, and if it does I will come here right away.

You guys are awesome!

EndGameNYC

That's six hours you could have thrown away by drinking. Staying connected here seems to help a great many people stay sober. You can't put a price on that.

Love the quote in your sig. You probably know it's from Steve Jobs' commencement speech at Stanford in I think 2004.

His whole talk is both inspiring and inspired, and very much worth a listen. I first heard it on YouTube.

britquit

Patricia I feel ya. Just 24 hrs too. Well I think so since I blacked out last night and have no idea what time I stopped drinking. This morning was rough but I posted on here and read threads all day. Good luck to you and congrats

misspond

Another mum to little ones here, mine are nine and nearly 5. You've done brilliantly by owning up and starting a thread - now we can all help each other x

CuteNGayYay

24 hours? Awesome job ! Lets make it 48 I'm a newbie myself at 12 days. It's hard but I feel SO much better.

jaynie04

[QUOTE=EndGameNYC;4163480]That's six hours you could have thrown away by drinking. Staying connected here seems to help a great many people stay sober. You can't put a price on that.



SR=priceless!

Ornithology

You are doing great! Go for another 24 hours. As far as feeling scared, that is a perfectly normal way to feel right now. Focus on the positives, like how good it feels not to be drinking. And lean on this forum as much as you need too. Reading other people's posts gives us all strength.

whiskeyman

this is how i did it. One anxious day at a time.
Scream for help if you have to. Dont keep anything inside.

I am at 2.5 years and have been where you all were.
i missed 5 years of both kids life and will never get them back
but have an opportunity to now start making up for the lost years.

You can do it. One more hour....

Dee74

welcome to SR Patricia

D