He's on day three and I'm not sure how I feel
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 182
He's on day three and I'm not sure how I feel
My partner of three years has been addicted to "something" since high school 30 years ago. I don't think there is anything he hasn't tried at some point. Alcohol has always featured and three times since we got together we have had big dramatic "pour it down the sink scenes" only for it to be back as bad as ever a week later.
This time it "feels" different. Always before he has stopped drinking but needed "something" to sleep or wake up or whatever. This time there is to be nothing. This time it was all his own idea. This time he has told the people who got him "this and that" that he is done. This time it was not triggered by a vomiting, black out, massive hangover event. This time there was no fighting or ultimatums. He just looked at me and said "I want to see 50 I am done with this"
For the most part he has slept. He has gone to work on all three days but he hasn't missed a day's work in over a year. I think making it to work is some sort of baseline for him. So he has slept and gone to work and not a lot else. Yesterday he was very quiet. Today he has been quiet but grumpy. He doesn't seem at all pleased with his decision but is sticking to his guns.
I am pleased and happy but at the same time confused by how much time I'm spending thinking about co dependency and detaching. Why would I suddenly feel the need to detach at the very time he is making an attempt to get clean and sober. It's almost like I'm preparing myself for an inevitable failure.
I'm very glad to have found the site and am learning lots from other people's posts. Thank you.
This time it "feels" different. Always before he has stopped drinking but needed "something" to sleep or wake up or whatever. This time there is to be nothing. This time it was all his own idea. This time he has told the people who got him "this and that" that he is done. This time it was not triggered by a vomiting, black out, massive hangover event. This time there was no fighting or ultimatums. He just looked at me and said "I want to see 50 I am done with this"
For the most part he has slept. He has gone to work on all three days but he hasn't missed a day's work in over a year. I think making it to work is some sort of baseline for him. So he has slept and gone to work and not a lot else. Yesterday he was very quiet. Today he has been quiet but grumpy. He doesn't seem at all pleased with his decision but is sticking to his guns.
I am pleased and happy but at the same time confused by how much time I'm spending thinking about co dependency and detaching. Why would I suddenly feel the need to detach at the very time he is making an attempt to get clean and sober. It's almost like I'm preparing myself for an inevitable failure.
I'm very glad to have found the site and am learning lots from other people's posts. Thank you.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: The South
Posts: 398
Hi Jessicajoe,
Welcome to this site! I think it's normal to have confusion and mixed feelings about all of this. Addiction can have dramatic effects on relationships and so can recovery. It is good that you are posting and getting honest and aware about your feelings.
Consider visiting the "Family and Friends" forum on this site. There are a lot of people here (and there) who can relate to what you are going through.
Welcome to this site! I think it's normal to have confusion and mixed feelings about all of this. Addiction can have dramatic effects on relationships and so can recovery. It is good that you are posting and getting honest and aware about your feelings.
Consider visiting the "Family and Friends" forum on this site. There are a lot of people here (and there) who can relate to what you are going through.
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