Clemence

Hello everyone. I have been visiting the site for a while now but this is my first post. I think my drinking is getting out of hand. I drink a bottle of wine probably 6 nights a week. I lie awake worrying about it at night, sleeping fitfully and wondering whether or not I've argued with my husband or been horrible to my children (can't usually remember going to bed). I know I'm setting my children a terrible example. I've tried to moderate so many times but its like I just forget to stop til the bottle is empty. I've spent 30 years steadily building up to this.

BUT. I rarely drink before 6pm (my 10 year old calls it wine o'clock; not even funny), I don't drink and drive, I don't offend anyone (except my husband and children), no one even knows I have a problem, my husband thinks its all fine and I'm fretting over nothing.

I've been reading a bit about AVRT but I don't want to keep reading because I know it makes sense. I know that's ridiculous but I'm scared.

HELP!

Zazzzzz

Hi Clemence, welcome to SR.

I didn't drink until after 9 PM. Never during the day. Never at work. I never drove. I still left broken relationships and horrible, daily anxiety behind me, regardless. I even told myself "I don't drink until it's late and everyone's asleep, it's not like I'm an alcoholic." But of course I was.

Maybe you're scared of quitting? You don't feel you're ready to say goodbye to drinking? That's very common, you're not alone. Stick around SR and keep reading, hopefully you'll find something that will convince you how much happier you'll be if you quit altogether.

dwtbd

Hello clemence
welcome to SR, it's a great place to start, and actively posting is really helpful, so good for you !

I found RR and their AVRT to be tremendously helpful. I took the free crash course and bought the Rational Recovery book to get a more detailed view of their approach. I found the insights liberating. Maybe you would also, I promise it can't hurt

Hope to see you around
wish you the best

soberhawk

Hi Clemense,

Welcome :-).

It is a difficult decision to make but we do in reality feel better by not struggling with this stupid substance.

hayley86

Welcome Clemence, Its good that you recognize that your drinking is out of hand and you want to do something about it. You will find lots of support and advice here.

doggonecarl

Welcome to SR.

I'm pretty sure most of us here know the feeling of being scared about sobriety. It's something we weren't familiar with.

But everyone here who is sober quit despite being scared.

I'm sure there is something else in your life you were scared about, but did it anyway. Recovery is no different.

ChloeB

Hi Clem and welcome to SR!!

EVERYONE here is VERY helpful and I came for help two weeks ago. Haven't had a drink since.. Doesn't sound like a long time but to me, going two weekends in a row without alcohol has made me feel so "in control" and I have not felt like that in a very long time if ever as an adult..

Only you can make the decision to quit and do it for you! Take it a day at a time. (These wonderful people on SR tell me that a lot)

I, too, have the family that can only benefit from this My 3 grandchildren will NOT grow up watching this Grandma drinking everyday!!

Good Luck!! WE CAN DO THIS!!!!

misspond

Hi Clemence

There's really nothing to fear. I've not been stopped for long but I already feel so much clearer and happier and my main point of refernce has been AVRT. Once you let it in the technique is easy to assimilate, now I just have to keep the Beast at bay. For the sake of my children and myself I will never drink again and I will never change my mind.

Keep us posted with how you're doing x

firstymer

Welcome, Clem. I drank like you for many, many years. I stopped 11 days ago after discovering SR. I am not sure if I can stay sober or not. But I do know that this site, and the people here, is what has kept me from giving in to the 100 different urges that I have felt to turn back to the bottle. For me, their unique understanding of my struggle has made this difficult, difficult journey manageable. Good luck to you. And congratulations for taking the first step toward recovery. I look forward to reading more posts from you.

neferkamichael

Clemence, to SR.

jaynie04

I've been reading a bit about AVRT but I don't want to keep reading because I know it makes sense. I know that's ridiculous but I'm scared.

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That is incredibly honest. I think one of the scariest things was that talking to other alcoholics, I identified so much I couldn't ignore it. But, it was also one of the most motivating aspects to me as well. I realized I wasn't the first to embark on this journey and I really trusted the other people who had struggled before me and told me what it was like on the other side.

In the past few weeks I have watched a lot of the posters who are on this thread begin their journey, it is so wonderful to see people start their lives over. It's not easy, but I promise you it is worth it.

Welcome

Lightning Bug

When I was drinking I would wait until 7 or 8 pm to drink, kids would be close to sleep. Then I would get drunk and pass out.

I never thought about something happening in the middle of the night and them needing me for something. How could I possibly help? Totally selfish.

misspond

^ This was me too.

13unluckyforsom

This was me too! Sad to say but I'd also totally convinced myself that I wasn't really an alcoholic as I only drank at night - my house was clean - my kids fed washed and clean - we went to parks - always had food - electric - heat - yeah from the outside I was normal. Everything was perfect. I was always washed and dressed etc etc etc ....

But I WAS an alcoholic irresponsible parent.

13unluckyforsom

Well done for coming here and seeking help - you will get it if you are open to it. I hope you get a handle on this because its not impossible and life's too precious and short to waste

Clemence

Humbled and overwhelmed at the fact that you generous people listened, cared and responded. I've felt so alone with this problem for years but I really think that with your support I might be able to finally quit. AV book coming from Amazon soon; I don't dare try before that (any excuse; I'm good at them) x

Anna

Welcome, Clemence!

I hope you are ready to stop drinking. It sounds like your children are already aware of the fact that you drink at night, and that's one of the best reasons for stopping.

Dee74

Welcome Clemence

it is a big step letting go of the way we live, even tho e know it's not the right way for us.
You'll find support and encouragement here tho - every step of the way

you can do this - because I, and everyone else here, did this too

D

johnatahn1

Welcome clem the first step was admitting you have a problem well done

Spinach

I'm always amazes how this place is found by people that just fit right in !
Im not sure if I had found here earlier I was ready but this has been the single most helpful resource and the thing has kept me sober after 30 years.
Keep reading and posting.
Love John.