dan187613

he was drinking last night, stayed up later than me. should i wake him? he may be late for work. my instinct is no.

honeypig

Your instinct is correct, in my opinion. He is an adult and gets to bear the consequences of his choices.

funkynassau

Let him sleep, it's his problem if he's late for work.

lorelei

Leave him, being late is todays consequences of drinking. He will never learn otherwise x

dan187613

thanks for the responses. i left him to wake on his own and he was late. i kind of expected him to try to blame me but he didn't. feels like a win for me, trust my instinct.

honeypig

Dan, I see you only have a few other posts here and I don't see that anyone has recommended Alanon to you yet, so I'd like to do that. Here's a link to help you find a meeting http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

There is a thread currently going in the Family and Friends forum about someone who attended her first meeting last night; it might be worthwhile for you to find it and read thru.

Alanon can be a great place to gain understanding of what you're up against w/an A and of what you can do for YOURSELF to make your life what you want it to be. Alanon along with SR works really well for me.

Also, can I suggest that you do as much as you can to educate yourself about alcoholism and codependency? Knowing about both these problems will likely help you gain insight into what's going on in your life too. The stickies at the top of the page provide some good starting points.

So welcome to SR, keep on reading, keep on posting. Slowly you'll start to see your path ahead of you.

wolfpackfan45

Well done dan. You did the right thing.

dan187613

update:

so i am back, i have attended a few al-anon meetings. it wasn't a crisis or anything that sent me there but i think i was mostly just trying to overcome my own fear of new and unfamiliar situations. but i thought it might be a preemptive strike anyway. i choose to go in the first time (almost chickened out because i got lost in the church and ended up being late), just to see what it was all about. i didn't speak, just listened. i think just about anyone, not just us having an alcoholic association, could benefit from the experiences there and hearing what others are battling with and being able to relate or apply it to your own life.
anyway i thought things were going ok and progress was being made on both our parts. now i find out i am pregnant. he says he'll quit, he lies. i stopped smoking because of the pregnancy and he said he'd quit smoking and drinking too. bs. i was sleeping last night when i kept hearing a banging on the door. there was a drunk idiot who couldn't get his keys in the door. i regretted opening the door as soon as i did. i have been roller coaster riding emotions from being excited about the pregnancy to thinking this is the last thing i need in my life, have a child with an alcoholic. today i really want out of the entire situation...

allysen

Congratulations on the pregnancy. I was pregnant with my second child when my Ah's drinking really spiralled out of control. You can do this. Keep going to Al-Anon - it will help you keep things in perspective while you decide what to do. And keep posting here too. I'm glad you updated.

NYCDoglvr

Absolutely not. He is an adult and responsible for getting to work. By getting him up you enable him to continue being irresponsible.