fearfultn

I just joined today in hopes I would find a similar situation. My husband kept his opiate addition from me for I'm guessing 2 years. It came out at the end of august. Now that hes got me paying all the back debt & looking at his car being taken, im so mad at him. I'm such a fool for not knowing, not seeing the warning signs. Lieing, sneeking around, never being home & when he was home we argued. Now that I've help him detox at home I'm scared, scared it was all for nothing, scare he will go back. Then I start thinking about every little thing he did wrong to us. I get so nad all over again. The only way I know how to build up the trust is to talk about everything, with my husband I can ask a question about his addiction and just.sit back and listen. I dont let him leave in my car alone. I dont give him any money. Ife made myself get to know his friends & since he works construction his coworkers to. I look at his cell phone when I want too. But yet to be honest it doesn't make the anger & resentment go away. he started going to church with us & thats a good start but is it an act? Am I being fooled again? when does the hurt go away? I dont want a divorce but its not healthy living like this. I will not deal with any of this again. I've made an appoinment with a therapist to get some help. I want things back the were 2 years ago. Anyone have any advice or solutions?

Dee74

hi and welcome fearful

I don't think you're a fool - noone wants to believe their partner is an addict - it wouldn't even occur to most people.

I also know I put a lot of effort into trying to keep my secret life secret - sounds like your husband was the same.

I can;t really answer any of your questions, but I know you'll find folks here who've been there - there's a ton of support and experience, both in this forum and our Family and Friends forum too

D

least

to SR! Do take a look at the friends and family forum for further insight on what it's like to live with an addict. Lots of support and good advice there. I'm glad you joined our family.

Bender

....ditto.

You're no fool. I did alot of lying to my wife and in the end she couldn't get over the resentment and anger. We ended up getting divorced because of it. I think she could have forgiven the drinking but not the betrayal.....but that's on me. Just know he didn't do it to make a fool of you. He just wanted to keep using and he is probably doing a fair amount of lying to himself as well.