Bls57

My spouse is an alcoholic- which he freely admits and he started using this site two days ago when we both stopped drinking. I have the weirdest feeling that I really should recognize myself as an alcoholic (without always prefacing that with "functioning").

I have been drinking 4-8 vodka's a night, occasionally with tonic, but my tolerance is far too high and it is not uncommon to finish most of a litre in one evening. Some posts that I have been reading say that I need to hit "rock bottom" before I can stop... Since I don't want to get there, do I really need to?

I know I drink too much and my previous attempts to stop have lasted about 4 days......

Tamerua

Your bottom is when you want it to be. All of that stuff that they tell you in after school specials, losing house, car, job, family, etc. isn't mandatory. You can quit now!

Welcome!

dwtbd

Hello Bls57
A real good first step for both of you is finding this site, there are great people here and a lot of ideas on ending addiction. Post , ask and look around all the forums.

Personally I found RR(Rational Recovery) and their AVRT to be tremendously helpful. If you google these terms and go to the site they have a free crash course that gives an overview of their process.

wish you both well and hope to see you around
stopping is up to you , whenever you want to

Ornithology

When it comes to stopping drinking, there is no time like the present.
I didn't hit rock bottom; I didn't lose my family or my job. I only lost 34 years of my life to sitting in a chair getting drunk every night.

least

to SR! I'm glad you joined us. It isn't necessary to hit rock bottom to stop drinking. All you have to do is stop digging that hole deeper right now. Stop now. What kind of support do you have in real life? Anyone you can trust with this?

I had the support of an addictions counselor and she was very helpful. I still see her once a month and it helps when the road gets bumpy.


I hope we can help you stay sober. A sober life is worth the effort.

Dee74

Hi and welcome bls57

It doesn't need to be some cataclysmic event - it can be a simple, gentle decision to stop now before things get worse

D

LadyBlue0527

Hi Bls57 and welcome to the board!

"Rock Bottom" is purely a subjective phrase. I've had enough incidents over the years that most certainly could be considered to many as what they would see as being just that.

My true rock bottom was pretty uneventful. I had a bad fight with my husband the evening before which was pretty much an every weekend event because that's when I drank. I would say horrible things that I didn't mean and that I wouldn't even remember.

I woke up on May 27th and I had just had it with the bs and asked myself "What are you doing?" I made the decision that I was sick of it all. Sick of living the way that I was. I was drinking or waiting to drink and when I did drink it wasn't fun anymore. It was a contest to see how much I could pour in. This is my 4th attempt with 3 long term attempts previously and countless short term attempts. This is the longest I've been sober.

You just have to want it.

You're gauging what alcohol is doing to your body based on the fact that you can maintain your wits while under the influence. You may feel fine but alcohol is taxing on the body regardless of how it makes you feel.

The decision is up to you but it sounds like you know on the inside how you really feel. This is a great place that has amazing people and a lot of info. Read, read, read and post, post post!

I wish both you and your husband the best and hope that you stick around!

Bls57

LadyBlue, it was that quote at the bottom of your posts that really got me thinking today. "We called it fun because it gave us an excuse to do it." Thanks for the extra support!

lessgravity

I think if you are here and poking around then something is rotten in Denmark.

Some lovely and informed words of advice above. For many addicts it doesn't have to be an absolute tragedy that informs them their life needs to change. Like many, from the outside, my life is just fine. But I know, like it seems you do, that all the nights drunk, the mornings recovering, the days wasted, etc, et al, ad infinitum - life can be better than that.

And by the way, to me the common understanding of the term "functioning alcoholic" is a misnomer - an alcoholic who is functioning as one is feeding his or her body with the poison it is addicted to. Worldly success or appearance has nothing to do with it to me anymore - a bum on the street is truly the world's highest functioning alcoholic - he's whittled his life down to just serving that need!

Welcome. There are many here with some wonderful knowledge.

Good luck and stay strong.

TheRoad

Hi Bls57 and welcome! I always imagined a rock bottom to be something like a job loss, homelessness, the proverbial park bench, etc. I think that is why it took me so long to come to a conclusion that I had a problem because I was still what most people considered to be highly functioning (in fact, a lot of people didn't even know that I had a drinking problem!). Anyway, my "rock bottom" was actually just a realization. To illustrate, my biological mother left our family when I was three years old and we never heard from her again. All my life, especially when I became a mother myself, I asked myself over and over again: "how could someone choose to be absent in their child's life?" My "rock bottom" came when I realized that I was also choosing to be absent in my child's life. I may have been physically present, but my relationship was with the alcohol. I begin to realize how many evenings I couldn't remember, how many times I couldn't wait until my child went to bed so I could really pore it on, how many times we wouldn't do certain activities because it meant that it would be difficult for me to have fun without drinking. Rock bottom for me was coming to the understanding that if I continued down this path I would turn into the ****** mother I always feared.