grateful6982

Well my AH was picked up on his warrants over Labor Day weekend. So, he is back at what is quickly becoming his second home, the county jail. This time though, he could be there for quite some time. Even if he does get released from this jail, he is simply going to be moved to the jail in the county we actually live in, as they have a warrant hold on him too. I am feeling... nothing. I am angry and have stated those feelings to him and let them go. Now I am just numb. I do have goals that I feel like I can accomplish now that he is gone, but I feel like I need to grieve the loss of someone I love. I don't even know if this post makes sense, because my brain is so jumbled at the moment. I guess I finally understand what people mean when they say that there will come a time when it hurts more to love the addict than to not love them. I will never understand his actions, and I finally have given up trying to. I am now going to put my focus on me. I deserve to treat myself better than I do, and that is my first goal. Thank you for listening to the ramblings of a sober lady driven mad by addiction.

pravchaw

Dear Lady, You are not alone. Your every word resonates here. What won't kill us, will make us stronger. We have to endure and focus on what is important and can be controlled, which is us.

The Serenity Prayer