maximus123

Hi guys,

Today is my first day off weed. I have smoked for 15 years. I work full time so just smoke when i get home at night (bouts 8-12 cones) and weekends all day (20 cones) or 3 grams. I smoked a quarter a day <7> when i was younger and had more free time.

I have massive addiction where i will eventually convince myself its ok to get it. I want it when i'm happy, sad stressed or depressed. I start the day thinking ill give up but by the end im messaging my dealer. I wrote a msg just before but he diddnt write back and its 9pm so im thinking this might be my fist day off the sh**.

I have spend sooo much money on it and constantly hide it from my girl that i buy and its not free. I spend a $100 to $200 a week on the sh**.

I have tried to give up sooo many times and have gone six months before. But sooner or later i seem to convince myself its ok to have some and before you know it im back to regular usage.

Why do we have to be trapped this way? I know its better been off it and clear headed. But then it has helped me deal with so many f***ed situations and evened me out.

I want to save and make a good life not try to remember what i did yesterday.

So im lucky i got some vallium laying around that has taken the edge off me tonight but i still dont feel tired or hungry or like playing with the girl.. Is it because i have associated everything with been stoned for so long that now been straight is not normal?

Why do we do it to ourselves?... I love it but I hate the catches.. guess thats the story with all addictions. Let me just say I have tried all drugs and was addicted mainly to injecting gas 2 years ago and managed to shake that easily because of weed. But weed now thats another story. I feel like someone is saying you can have to have sex but cant blow.. haha.. Why do i change the way I yhin through the day.. I hate it .. I want it.. I feel guilty cause i got some.. over and over and over..

Four days off it and it will be sort of ok from my experience.. but **** me if its not a challenge and it will make you question every aspect of your life.

Does anyone have any advice for grinding out the next two weeks? How do you deal with moments of weakness.. How do you get to sleep? I feel week and sometimes think im a better perswon when I smoke.. I am more tolerant and easier to hang with.. I have more fun and deal with situations better when i smoke... My life is normal stoned and not normal straight.. I need to change this mindset and develop myself back to the norm..

Whats your opinion and how did you get through the hard times of your addiction?


Please help..

maximus

misspond

Hey there Maximum - I'm not sure what I can offer but didn't want to read and run. Personally I've beaten a couple of addictions and am now trying hard to deal with my addiction to alcohol but there was a time when I smoked and took speed and MDMA and LSD... looking back, they were easy to give up because I was sick of doing it, I stopped going to the places where I could buy, got rid of the numbers and didn't see the people who I used to associate with.

How you get to "grind this out"? I'm not entirely sure - everyone is different and maybe some folks with more experience will be able to help. But I do find browsing here and looking for positive stories is a great help indeed. I wish you all the best.