wakko

Been sober for a while but that does not mean life does not happen. Major job problems and I'm feeling pretty low. Self esteem is in the toilet but that does not mean I have to drink. I guess I'm posting to let new comers know that life can crap on you sober to.

It is not all rainbows and unicorns. The differance is I know this temporary, I know taking a drink would screw up my life far worse than the pain I am feeling now. Today I have tools to deal with life and a support network of sober friends.

I would be lieing to say that a drink has not crossed my mind but I know that there is nothing a drink won't make worse.

Life $ucks from time to time but sobriety has given me a life that is better than I could imagine even if it is not wonderful today.

susasober1

It is not all rainbows and unicorns. The differance is I know this temporary, I know taking a drink would screw up my life far worse than the pain I am feeling now.

Absolutely! I have been sober for almost 16 months and just spent all Labor Day weekend with asthma related Bronchitis and some wheezing...finally found an Urgent Care facility to go to today...didn't go to any meetings, get in any of my usual beach walks or a late summer swim! I am bored out of my mind, still have no energy and tomorrow it is back to work! Since I've been sober my confidence level is still is not high...the job I finally got in sobriety is pretty basic but I still feel like I screw up all the time!

Oh well...the good thing was that a drink did not sound good this weekend and I tell myself that if things don't work out with work, at least it won't be because of drinking or anxiety caused from drinking!

least

This.

nandm

I could not agree more.

I have been sober 12 years now and in that time have been forced into bankruptcy, had a major motor vehicle accident (that was at 6 months of sobriety), been let go from two jobs, had to retire from a 20 year career due to the development of PTSD, have lost my youngest child, had my family of origin abandon me, and the list go on but in all that I still found no reason to drink.

I have learned to think of life as having seasons just like our world. Every season has it's beauty and it's pain. Just as summer time has sunshine and often fun there are also sometimes hurricanes and tornadoes and in the summer of my life there are the occasional hurricane or tornado but there is also the beauty that comes with Summer. Then summer time turns to Fall with all that it brings the beautiful as well as the rainstorms. Then Winter and Spring and the cycle just continues. No matter how bad something feels in the moment we are in it one thing we can count on is that everything changes and this moment will also change as the season of our life changes we just have to hang in there long enough to get to the next beautiful moment.

My only regret about getting sober is that I did not get sober sooner and missed a lot of my children growing up as well as wasted a lot of years of my life. I have no regrets about being sober in and of itself. Sobriety has been well worth the effort it took to find it.

Thanks for your post and the reminder

13unluckyforsom

Very well put wakko. I'm sorry your having a hard time just now and I hope your problems get resolved soon.

Have to be honest and say that I'm not looking forward to dealing with life's knock backs sober - I'm not used to feeling all the feelings but as you say - one drink and it could go from a raindrop to a storm!

Glad you posted this because as much as drink caused us all a lot of problems - life also happens too and causes its own problems - it's life and its learning to deal with it in a healthy way.

I hope your feeling a bit more upbeat soon but we are always here if you need to vent. Take care.

13unluckyforsom

Love your outlook nandm very true wise words

wakko

I am in the pity pot right now but at least I know I am in the pity pot. I have tons of things to be greatful for but throw me a curve and crazy thinking is alive and well

quitforme79

Awesome attitude, thank you for sharing this

ChefWolverine

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!

-Rocky Balboa

Louise82

Thanks for being real, wakko. I'm not even 2 months sober and I've already had more ups and downs to do with work, money, self-esteem and life in general than I know what to do with. So it's good to know I'm not alone in this. Know that you're not alone either.

Dee74

It;s not always sunshine unicorns and lollipops no - as a disabled man I learned that one early.

I'll tell you though - my outlook now that I'm sober is a million times better than it used to be when I was drinking.

For all the troubles of the world, and my own personal stuff, I'm still glad to wake up every morning.

I love my life

D

wakko

Let go and let God. Easier said than done. I am in my head without adult supervision

FBL

Yep, life is hard sometimes. I've found it's a hell of a lot easier to deal with sober.

DecBaby

Wonderful thread.

DylanS

I read your post yesterday, Wakko....then this morning when I woke up, my brain started before my eyes even opened (it likes to obsess about negative things). And I thought, "Yeah, butterflies and rainbows" (picturing cartoon-like crap), then I thought, well, why NOT think about butterflies and rainbows? And I started thinking about the spectacular rainbows we have out here, and the huge monarchs that sail around this time of year and I got an about-face in my mood....

...all because of your post.

Thanks.

wakko

This has been a great thread but I am a complete moron. The reason for the post was that I had convinced myself the world was going to end at work. Guess what? I was completely wrong. I had manufactured this doomsday senario and believed it 100%

I guess we grow through pain but do I feel like a dumb $hit for putting myself through a totally unnecesary freak out.

Oh Lord I still have a long ways to go

bblackbirdflyy

Ha. I do that too. My overthinking brain! Glad all is good tho wacko! Animaniacs rock by the way! I tuned in everyday after school as a kid.

To comment on your first post in this thread. Being sober is a scary thing having to deal with all things non rainbow non unicorn but when we drink away the scary stuff we inadvertently drink away the rainbows too.

Louise82

Glad to hear everything's ok at work, wakko. Now that I'm sober and learning to interact with the world again, I manufacture unnecessary freakouts too. As alcoholics, what we think is happening is often the opposite of what's actually happening.

venuscat

Thank you for posting wakko.

Have to agree that it isn't always an easy ride, there are some hefty bumps.
But isn't that what life is about? Learning to ride out the tough days, so we
can get to the other side. And whatever is on that other side? We are stronger,
and better equipped to deal with the tools that recovery is bringing....

I've had some embarrassingly difficult days through this 7-month journey.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed, but I never ever want to give up.
I wouldn't trade the growing pains of life for the agony that my drinking caused me.

We might not have our dream jobs right now, but we CAN get there....we have given ourselves freedom.

Love Venus xx

Boleo

In my case, the more calendar days I got not-drinking, the more miserable I felt. Booze was my release valve for life's pressures and without it, I had no release at all. Drinking myself into oblivion would look better to me each day because abstinence was driving me stark-raving-sober.

I had to learn how to treat the ISM part of alcohol-ISM before I could live life without the ALCOHOL part. It takes a daily program of action to find the emotional sobriety the makes life worth living again.