MrBen

I just messaged someone about this so I thought I'd throw it open to everyone. I live in the north of England and the drinking culture here is totally insane. I would say half of everyone I know has a drinking problem, It's part of the reason I kept drinking: "hey, how can I have a problem if everyone else I know drinks a lot?".

If it different down your neck of the woods or have you found something similar?

Mountainmanbob

Tallia

I hear you mrben it's the same here in Wales I can't remember a day or night out with friends that don't end up drinking.

hypochondriac

I'm a northern girl Ben, and I know how you feel, but I do think that the drinking culture is just more visible. The non drinkers aren't out parading the streets not falling over and being generally sensible, they're at home or in theatres or concerts. They don't make any statistics.

There is also a strong chance that as a drinker you have surrounded yourself with other drinkers. I wouldn't have tolerated the society of sober people in my drinking years because they would make me feel bad about myself. Much easier to surround myself with people who are worse than me so I can feel good about my drinking habits. I am not saying I did that consciously but I know that I spent my whole life cultivating a group of friends who tolerated my behaviour. That hasn't been to my advantage in sobriety because some friends haven't been supportive. But I realise now that it is because they don't really care about me. Previously I shunned friends who were concerned about my drinking but really that was the considerate way of thinking. Those people who aren't happy about me not killing myself anymore aren't really my friends.

I found the best thing to do in sobriety, and really the only way to stay sane, was to ignore what other people are up to and just focus on what you need to do. If you are worried about your social life, don't. These things have a way of sorting themselves out, and when you are making a complete lifestyle change it's pretty difficult to see the complete picture right away. If you make small positive changes eventually it will all figure itself out. That's what I have found anyway. Not everyone is out getting trashed on a saturday night.

lorelei

People don't see anything wrong with excessive drinking these days, its a reward for many after a tough day etc, I drank because I needed confidence and to take the edge of anxiety and depression.And guess what im now addicted and the depression is worse than ever. I wish id never picked up that first drink.

MrBen

I can definitely relate, I'm a naturally introverted person and that can be very lonely at times. But I found I relaxed around people, enjoyed socialising and generally felt more "normal" when I drank. I remember a while back (when I was last quitting) I went out and found my drunk friends unbelievably boring and went home after an hour. Instead of drinking to be as boring as them I think I'll try and find some friends that I don't need to be slaughtered around to tolerate.

lorelei

I think I shall follow your lead

LDT

I live near New Orleans, Louisiana. We spend a lot of time there. It's an amazing city, but with a huge drinking culture. I've often said that if I can stay sober in NOLA ( and I can and DO), then I can stay sober anywhere.

doggonecarl

Maybe it's why you started to drink. Is it why you can't get sober?

When I drank, if I was on a deserted island but had alcohol, I'd still drink. What culture can I blame then?

Alcoholics drink. World wide.

MatildaRose

Hmmm, I was just over in England at a Tudor Days festival. .I'm part of a living history group and they are mostly problem drinkers. I have had to build a spiritual family that does meditation and other things that keep you ground to balance the living history groups. I also spend time in nature and make the animals and trees my friends. This kinda works for me.

MrBen

I'm not blaming my culture, I'm just saying it makes it easier to stay in denial.

ZoeM

I think human nature (and drink problems) are universal. Stereotyping doesn't solve much

bigsombrero

When I came of drinking age in the Upper Midwest, calling someone an "alcoholic" was almost a badge of honor. Families often drink together with underage kids, much like they do in N. England. In fact, a university student in this area recently blew a .34 and was hailed as a hero by her local college and even lauded in the media: Alleged Female Idiot On The Field Blows .341 BAC, Has Amazing Twitter

But I've lived in a few different countries and all over the US. If you look around, you can find the drunks. As you move through sobriety, you'll see that there is nowhere on earth that you can avoid it.

There are plenty of sober people and sober activities everywhere as well. Us alcoholics, we don't see that - it's like we have blinders on. But trust me, no matter where you are in the world, there are more alcohol-free things to do than you'd think. You also might want to start re-examining your friendships and start down a new path. Good luck.

MrBen

That is very similar to here. In fact I've had friends after a night out say how cool I was for drinking 20 pints and it being barely noticeable. At the time I even felt proud, how stupid that feels now.

ScottFromWI

I also live in the upper Midwest where drinking is very prevalent. Having said that, now that I've been sober for a while, I find there are a lot more people who don't drink, or at least don't attend events SOLELY to drink.

Honestly, blaming our drinking on the culture is simply another excuse we use to justify our drinking. Alcoholics are the minority, no matter where we live.

MrBen

A lot of you are saying that this is a case of blaming the culture. It isn't. I know I'm the guy pouring this stuff down my throat. However, I don't think you're making excuses by acknowledging that the behavior of others makes a difference in the difficulty in staying sober. If when desperate for a drink, I was in the room with a group of people drinking, that would make it harder.

lorelei

I don't think acknowledging a drinking culture in the area we live is giving oneself permission to drink, its merely acknowledging so many people today drink perhaps without the knowledge they have a problem, and as its so available these days and life pressures are so intense the drinking culture to cope etc is more prevelant.

Maybe some have different experiences but for some, drinking cultures where they live is a very real situation.

Aussiegal

Hi Mr Ben.
As you can see, I'm an Aussie and I remember about a year ago when I rang a Government psychologist at our local drug & alcohol rehab saying that I was concerned that I was drinking a bottle of wine a day and couldn't stop and wanted to see if there was a short day detox programme I could do.

You know what her reply was? She just laughed at me and said "ALL Aussies drink a bottle of wine a day" and completely dismissed my concern. (Sadly my drinking became far worse). Drinking, especially teen binge drinking in Australia, followed by disastrous violence and blackouts is worn, as you said as a badge of honour. I truly think that there needs to be some sensible education starting in schools or something. It's just getting way out of control.

MrBen

Completely agree with your point on education. Me and my friends started drinking at 12, all of us, that should not be normal anywhere. I think schools underestimate just how young drinking starts.

sgs

Due to age and family, I am not in a drinking culture right now, but I feel for younger people who are.But maybe someone has to step up and do what they need to do for themselves. In my area, a lot of parents think that drinking by immature teens is just a right of passage. For some it doesn,t PASS.